Caught in the Grey
by ea-phoenix
Summary: Regina is caught between two worlds, but which one is real? Set in my own post season 1 timeline with possible spoilers for the entire first season just in case. Specific spoilers and other warnings will be posted at the top, author's note at the bottom. NOTE the Rating change for chapter 8!
1. Chapter 1

**WARNINGS** will be posted here. Just some minor violence in this one, but there will be some darker stuff in upcoming chapters. So please read before continuing.

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**Chapter One**

Searing pain arced across the bruised and beaten form, drawing the woman from the peaceful depths of blissful oblivion. Raven locks swayed in the gentle, cool breeze blowing across her supine body, leaving the disoriented woman with the sense of gliding down a long tunnel with no idea as to her destination. A faint light pulsing rhythmically over head sent red hot needles through chocolate eyes as they fluttered open, seeking to make sense of the tumultuous noise assaulting her ears. Before anything could be brought into focus, darkness, once again, seeped into the edges of her vision and the muddled sounds faded to static.

Using the last of her will power to shake away the creeping tendrils of unconsciousness, Regina Mills managed to roll over before pushing herself onto her knees. The world titled alarmingly on its axis and bile rose to the back of her throat as the sudden movement sent her mind reeling. Placing a cool hand against her feverish forehead to tamp down the nausea, the brunette could feel the thick, crimson liquid seeping between her delicate fingers as she finally took in the scene playing out around her.

Smoke and ash clouded the sky as fire poured from the buildings nearby, painting the earth and its occupants with sinister hues of orange and red in the grey twilight. Angry shouts and frantic screams mixed with the sounds of running feet and bodies colliding in battle. Friends became foes and foes quickly became lifeless figures strewn across black asphalt. Gruesome wounds marred the flesh of the men, women, and, to her despair, children that lay all around. Their once vibrant eyes, now murky in death, damned her with their wrath.

Blood thrummed in her ears from her pounding heart as she choked back the sobs threatening to escape, her shuddering breaths barely able to feed her starved lungs. The former mayor of the once quaint little town of Storybrooke, Maine searched frantically for an explanation. Wide, brown eyes slowly swept the devastated town square until they landed on the lone calm figure amongst all the chaos.

Golden curls framed a pale face streaked with dirt, sweat, and blood. Light, pink lips were set in a grim line of determination mirrored by glinting green eyes. Blood oozed from a long, thin gash across the younger woman's flat stomach and from a shorter one on her left shoulder, dying the tattered white tank top she wore scarlet. The flimsy shirt and ripped jeans offered little protection to the blonde should anyone decide to attack her, but it seemed that Emma Swan was the center of this raging hurricane and she only had eyes for the still kneeling brunette.

A flash of silver caught Regina's attention as the Sheriff stalked a deliberate path towards her. Unable to flee and unwilling to fight, brown eyes welled with tears as she resigned herself to whatever fate lay at the tip of Emma's sword. All too soon, yet an eternity later, the blonde stood before the fallen queen and raised gleaming steel high above her head. Regina found no remorse or sympathy looking down on her as the sword's wicked edge sliced through the air. A brilliant, white light filled her vision and the last thing Regina Mills saw before she died was the smiling face of one Emma Swan.

* * *

Chills swept over sweat dampened skin as Regina sat up, barely holding in the strangled cry that threatened to escape. Trembling hands pushed away the dark strands of hair plastered to her face as she fought to calm her racing heart and ragged breathing. The moonless night offered no light, but Regina could feel the warmth that radiated from the body to her left, its presence soothing her shattered soul.

Her blonde lover was a heavy sleeper, a fact Regina was normally grateful for, but tonight she couldn't help but crave Emma's reassuring touch. Laying back down so as not to disturb her sleeping companion, the brunette tried to quiet her restless mind and release the adrenalin still coursing through her veins.

Long minutes ticked slowly forward as unseeing eyes stared up into the darkness where she knew the ceiling hid. After what seemed like hours, but was probably closer to one, the brunette had just decided to get up when Emma rolled over and a long arm draped across the mayor's stomach. A contented sigh escaped from the blonde's lips as she tightened her hold and scooted closer, unconsciously tucking her head against Regina's chest. The steady beat of the brunette's heart soon eased Emma's nocturnal wandering while the reassuring weight of the blonde against her allowed the mayor's mind to rest.

Regina brushed a soft kiss across the crown of corn silk hair and wrapped her arms securely around the lithe body. Long fingers stroked through blonde tresses as Regina finally allowed the horrific images of her nightmare to fade away and slipped into a peaceful slumber.

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**A/N: **Okay, I'm back. It's been too long and I apologize. I'd wanted to take a few weeks, maybe a month, off after writing _Happily Ever After, Kinda, _ but clearly that turned into 3 months. I've had this idea in my head since February and, as I've said before, I try very hard to avoid stories with similar plots. I know you don't know what the plot is yet, but that will become clearer soon. So, just know that most of this story comes from my imagination, with a little help from a friend and some inspiration from songs. On that note, you should also know that while I know where I want this to go (and I have the ending written), I'm not sure how I'm going to get there. So please be patient with me. I'm aiming for weekly updates and I have a few other chapters sketched out so the next few shouldn't be too hard. I wanted to have it all worked out before I started posting, but I've come to realize that you guys with all your wonderful feedback and comments set my muse on fire. I'd never have gotten through _HEA,K _with out you and I hope this story doesn't disappoint. Thanks for reading!

Oh, and I was serious about the warning thing up top. This looks to get a little dark (nothing too terrible I don't think) and I don't want to traumatize anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Brief mention of some past abuse (nothing graphic) and vague spoilers for the season one finale, but even then you'd have to have seen it to know what to look for.**

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_Come on, Regina. Open those beautiful brown eyes for me._

The honey soaked voice penetrated the brunette's unconscious mind, slowly pulling her from Morpheus' grasp and into the light of a new day. Wanting to linger just a moment longer between the realms of sleep and the waking world, Regina kept her eyes tightly shut hoping her blonde lover would leave her be for just a few more precious moments. If she kept at it long enough, she knew from experience that Emma would join her and proceed to wake her in the most delightful way.

Luck, it seemed, was not on her side this morning, however. The space beside her was cool, suggesting the blonde had been awake for a while, and she could hear someone moving around the room despite their attempts to keep quiet.

_Well, if Emma is already up and moving around, I'll just have to convince her to come back to bed._

A self-satisfied smirk pulled at full, red lips as Regina's eyes fluttered open to find her wayward lover. She didn't have far to look, which was good since the last vestiges sleep still clouded her normally sharp vision, as the woman in question was standing over her watching her slumber.

_This will be easier than I'd hoped, _the brunette thought as her eyes fell shut once again and her smirk spread into a full out grin.

"Mmmmm… Good morning beautiful," Regina purred as she stretched her back like a contented cat.

Flames of anticipation and desire licked down her spine at the low, familiar chuckle that answered. It promised to be a 'good morning', indeed.

"I'm glad to see they have you on the good stuff."

_Wait… what?_

"Huh?" was what actually made it out as the unusual and unexpected comment snapped the brunette into full alertness.

Sitting up in the narrow bed with rails on either side, dark eyes quickly scanned the eggshell concrete walls, mesh covered windows, black speckled linoleum floor, and tan curtain that made up the small space she now occupied.

Confusion reigned as she turned to her girlfriend standing beside her in black slacks and deep blue turtleneck covered in a long, white lab coat. A stethoscope hung around her pale neck as bright, green eyes flicked to the various machines surrounding Regina before marking something on the clipboard held within dexterous hands.

"Emma, just what in the _hell _is going on here?" the brunette demanded.

Jade eyes snapped up to meet glaring brown as Emma's brow furrowed in uncertainty and a frown settled on light pink lips.

"Ms. Mills, I realize this is all very confusing for you, but I'll happily answer any questions you have once I finish checking your vitals and complete a quick exam."

A disbelieving laugh sounded throughout the enclosed space as Regina tried to stand up, before being halted in her attempt.

"I'm all for the 'sexy doctor' fantasy you have going on here, but this isn't funny anymore. So, just let me out of these things," she shook her arms causing the rails of the bed to rattle as she pulled on the soft restraints holding her in place, "and we can go home where we have all the necessary accessories, but with the added bonus of a bigger bed and fewer prying eyes."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Mills, but you seem to have me confused with someone else," Emma responded evenly.

"Oh no, dear, I know precisely who you are and where you'll be sleeping tonight if you don't remove these cuffs this instant."

It wasn't a request.

"Release me," Regina ordered in her most menacing register when the younger woman made no move to obey, "or I will tear the railings from the bed myself."

"If you'd just give me a minute," 'Dr. Emma' called out over the clanging metal as Regina began to wrestle against her bonds. "I'll explain everything…"

"ENOUGH!" Regina roared as she stopped struggling to glare daggers at her soon-to-be-ex-lover if she wasn't released right this _fucking _minute. Emma well knew she had issues with restraints. Evidently, it was a lesson that bore repeating.

"I don't know how you got anyone else to play along with this moronic little joke of yours, Emma Swan," she sneered, "but it is time to stop. Now!"

The brunette was satisfied to see a little fear creep into the depths of the shocked green eyes staring back at her. Slowly, the other woman set aside the clipboard that had acted as a shield during Regina's rant and shaky hands swept aside fallen locks of mousey brown hair that had worked loose from the long plait they'd been woven into.

"Do you need any help over there, Doctor?" a disembodied voice called from the other side of the curtain.

"I think we're fine here, Angelique," the younger woman answered, never breaking eye contact with Regina.

"The hell we are," the brunette growled as she leaned into the other woman's personal space.

"I have no idea what possessed you to pull this asinine stunt, but, lover or not, I swear if you do not release me_ immediately, _you will bear witness to a dark side of my magic that few have ever seen and lived to tell about."

Regina had no intention of breaking her 'no bad magic' promise to the blonde, but she hoped slipping into her _Evil Queen_ persona would impress upon her girlfriend how utterly serious she was.

"Nurse Dodson, can you bring me 20cc's of risperidone, please?"

Apparently not.

Before Regina could respond, a stocky woman with jet-black hair and mocha skin made her way around the curtain.

Righteous indignation turned to cold dread with the arrival of the nurse in her beige scrubs. After nearly 30 years stuck with the same people in such a small town, Regina knew every face in Storybrooke, but this woman… She'd never seen this woman before.

The thin wisps of anxiety that Regina had been able to suppress until now began to envelop her heart as the unfamiliar nurse followed Emma's order unquestioningly.

Wide, frantic eyes watched as the bright-skinned woman handed over a syringe full of swirling purple liquid. A buzzing in her ears drowned out every sound around her and the world narrowed to her staccato heartbeats and panting breaths as panic took hold.

"Nooo!" Regina shouted as she desperately tried to escape.

_Not again. I won't be someone else's lab rat. Never again. _

"Angel, get me the diazepam," the doctor ordered as she moved to restrain her flailing patient.

Regina struggled against the two pairs of hands pushing her down onto the bed, but wasn't strong enough to resist their combined force. The clatter of a metal tray and various other items hitting the floor ricocheted off the bare walls as the brunette fought with all she had. Despite her best efforts, a sharp prick stung the flesh of her upper arm and a calming fog filled her agitated mind before she slumped back once again.

"Good job getting that second needle ready so quickly, Angelique," the fair haired brunette praised her friend as she picked up the fallen hypodermic, thankful that the transparent liquid encased within hadn't been jammed into her during the scuffle.

"Who knows what kind of damage she'd have done to herself if you hadn't been so quick."

"No problem, Cam. Never know what you're gonna run into in this place, ya know," the nurse responded with a quick wink as she finished picking up the scattered objects and returned to her duties.

"No, you never do," Allison Cameron agreed under her breath. She cast one last searching glance over the supine woman before grabbing her fallen clipboard and continuing with her rounds.

* * *

Waking once again in the darkened but familiar room, Regina couldn't hold back her cries of distress as shuddering sobs wracked her delicate frame. Memories and fears the brunette thought long buried had resurfaced and coalesced in this single nightmare with a wicked vengeance.

Her alarming sounds caused a flurry of movement from the body beside her as the blonde wrapped Regina in her strong arms in an effort to comfort the distraught woman. Tears carved visible tracks down flushed cheeks as the brunette buried her face in Emma's neck, releasing all her fear and confusion in the secure embrace.

"Shhh… it's alright, sweetheart. It was just a dream. You're safe now," the blonde gently cooed into Regina's ear as nimble fingers carded through raven locks.

_She's dead… she's dead. My mother is gone. She cannot harm me. _

Regina repeated the mantra again and again until she could feel a small remnant of her lost control returning.

Emma gently rocked her girlfriend, dropping soft kisses on the top of her head while whispering soothing, nonsensical words until the brunette's sobs had calmed to the occasional sniffle.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Emma asked softly.

Regina choked back a helpless whimper as she shook her head.

"Okay," the blonde replied easily as she carefully lowered them back down onto the mattress, making sure Regina settled comfortably on top of her as she ran a consoling hand up and down the brunette's back.

Regina basked in the blonde's touch and allowed herself to be lulled back to sleep, hoping that Emma could keep any more nightmares at bay.

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**A/N: **So everyone know what's going on now?! It's no fun to put that stuff in the summary cause it ruins the reveal. That's the best part! H'okay so... This is not a_ House_ crossover so don't expect to see any of the other characters here. It's a great show, but frankly it's too smart for me and I'd never be able to do it any justice. I just couldn't resist using Cameron since she already exists and is also played by the lovely Jennifer. That being said,_ House _fans may need to suspend their disbelief or ignore the Cam from the show completely, cause I'm not too familiar with her character so I'm sure mine will be nothing like theirs. Also, a doctor I am not so please do not use any medical things from this or future chapters. Everything I know comes from Google. Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter, even though there was very little to comment on. Much love to all of you!


	3. Chapter 3

A discordant chirruping sounding through the early morning air roused the quiescent woman from her peaceful slumber. Cursing whoever had invented the blue jay and Emma for confiscating her BB gun this past spring, Regina Mills wrenched the pillow from beneath her before unceremoniously yanking it over her head. Sighing contentedly into the muffled silence as she drifted in a semi- unconsciousness state, the brunette's slender arms splayed out on either side of her until one of them met an unexpected obstacle with a jarring thud.

The pillow fell unnoticed to the floor as Regina sat up only to find herself surrounded, once again, by sterile walls and medical fixtures. Where confusion and fear had reigned before, seething anger now took hold, manifesting itself in the low growl that escaped between tightly clenched teeth.

_Damn the gods and Fate herself if they think I'm going to sit complacently through this nightmare yet again._

Lying wrapped in Emma's arms after the first time had reassured Regina that all was as it should be in the waking world. Obviously, the same could not be said for her sleeping self. True dreams were disjointed, unharmonious, and tended towards the bizarre, like flipping rapidly through a stack of Dali paintings. While definitely unusual, this place had a continuity and depth of detail that she'd never encountered before, right down to the overpowering scent of antiseptic and the ache in her left hand where it had hit the metal railing of her bed. This was undoubtedly the work of an outside influence.

Rumplestiltskin immediately sprang to mind, but since magic had returned to Storybrooke, anyone with even minimal magical abilities would have been able to enact such a curse. The hard part would be narrowing it down to one. Dream enchantments were as common as love potions, but unlike potions, spells always incorporated a bit of their caster. It was only a matter of finding their mark; even Rumple himself wouldn't be able to hide that completely.

Time was always an unknown in dreams; what felt like hours could be mere minutes in the real world and one could awaken at any moment. With that in mind, Regina threw off the crisp linen sheets that still covered her from the waist down and pulled the IV from her right arm before quietly easing herself out of bed. It would do her no good to draw attention to herself; the conjured apparitions would only try to protect the conjuror by preventing her search.

Bare feet padded silently across the cool linoleum floor as she stalked towards the edge of the curtain clad only in a flimsy hospital gown. Closing in on the tan fabric, Regina reached out, hoping that no one was present on the other side. Suddenly, the drape was shoved aside and she was caught in the familiar green eyes of her lover's double.

_Damn. _

With exception to the light brown hair that framed pale features, the specter before her was an exact copy of her girlfriend, right down to the frown that marred her light, pink lips. Able to study the other woman rationally this time, Regina could easily distinguish the subtle differences between the two women. Where Emma now carried herself with an arrogant confidence that the brunette found unbelievably irresistible, the doctor seemed more like the blonde had been when she first arrived in Storybrooke, aloof and guarded with a weary set to her delicate shoulders. There was despondency in the eyes, as well, that Emma did not possess. Whether these differences were deliberate or simply poor craftsmanship was yet to be seen.

"Ms. Mills, what are you doing out of bed?" not-Emma asked with blatant irritation.

_Well, at least they got the attitude right._

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm leaving," Regina stated as she moved to step around the bothersome woman.

"Oh-ho you're not…" the doctor said as she threw an impeding hand in front of the Mayor. "Now, I removed the restraints because it was apparent they caused you a great deal of distress last time. That, however, does not give you permission to just wander around wherever you like."

"Look, _dear_," barely concealed impatience oozed from between full lips, "clearly this is all an elaborate delusion. Most likely, the product of a curse set by someone bent on seeking their revenge against the Evil Queen and all-around bitch of a mayor, despite the changes I've made, or maybe the Furies themselves have chosen me as their latest plaything. In either event, if you'd kindly step aside so I may pass, it should only take a few minutes to ferret out the perpetrator. Once I know who's responsible, I can awaken from this demented hallucination and get on with my life."

_Maybe pursue a little retribution while I'm at it._

Regina did, after all, have an extensive collection of magical texts at her disposal. Surely, she could find something that would allow her to maintain her promise to Emma while still providing a gratifying outcome.

With an audible click, the fair-haired brunette snapped her jaw shut and shook away the stunned expression that had settled upon her face, looking the consummate professional once more.

"Okay, better up that to .5 mg of risperidone," the doctor said under her breath as she made note in Regina's chart.

An elegant, dark eyebrow arched at the unmistakable insult and appalling bedside manner.

"Look, Ms. Mills," the younger woman continued as green eyes once again locked with brown, "regardless of whatever you may think is going on, I am in charge here…"

"Please," Regina scoffed, interrupting whatever else the doctor had been about to say, "you're no more in charge around here than I am. We're nothing more than mere pawns set for someone else's entertainment and I, for one, refuse to play along. Now move out of my way or so help me I will reduce you to a pile of smoldering ash."

"If this is just a dream," the other woman countered, "then feel free to go ahead and try or, better yet, poof yourself out of here instead, because I have other patients that need my attention and, frankly, you're wasting my time."

Regina fumed at the mocking tone and, with a flourish of her hand, sought to conjure a fireball to bring the doctor down a notch. When that failed, she tried again and once more when that too produced nothing.

"Now, can we please continue so I can free up this bed for someone who actually needs it?" the fair-haired brunette asked in a bored tone.

"Fine," Regina bit out, miffed that she'd underestimated the power of the spell she was now trapped in.

"Thank you," the younger woman said with clear relief while ushering her patient back into bed.

Pulling on a pair of latex gloves from the kit she'd brought in, the doctor pulled out several clear vials and set them aside before clearing away the dangling IV and turning back to Regina.

"Alright, Ms. Mills, I need to draw some blood for a few final tests and do a quick mental assessment before I let you out of the infirmary. Is that okay with you?"

"Whatever gets me out of this bed," Regina responded while holding her arm out towards the doctor.

"Are you currently taking any medications or have any allergies or medical conditions that we should be aware of?" the younger woman asked as she slipped the needle easily into a light blue vein and proceeded to fill the first small container.

"None that I know."

"Great, at least we won't have to worry about possible drug interactions. Do you know where you are?"

"I'm clearly in a hospital."

"Good enough. Do you know who I am?"

"The doctor," the brunette deadpanned.

"Right," a slight smirk quirked across pale lips at the dry responses she was receiving as she labeled the first vial before beginning the second one.

"It's Cameron, by the way. Just in case you didn't catch it last time. Now, do you know who you are?"

Regina leveled a withering glare at the unfazed doctor while barely managing to bite back the scathing reply that threatened to explode in her growing frustration.

"What exactly are these ridiculous question supposed to 'assess' in my mental state?"

"Just answer it," Cameron retorted as she labeled the second vial.

"My name is Regina Mills. I am the Mayor of Storybrooke, Maine, the mother of Henry Mills, and girlfriend of Sheriff Emma Swan."

Pride laced the brunette's words despite the irritated edge that coated her voice, though Regina doubted the doctor realized just how important those last two were for her.

"You're immediate recall is clearly fine," Cameron said as she made notes on her clipboard, "and I'll have to wait until we contact your family to know for sure, but you're long term memory seems intact. Now, what's the last thing you remember?"

"You mean prior to the first time I woke up to find myself being held against my will by my girlfriend's evil twin?" was the sarcastic reply.

"Yeah," Cameron rolled her eyes, "before that."

"I had a nightmare and awoke next to Emma in our room."

"Okay. What about earlier that day? What did you do then?"

Regina racked her brain trying to remember what they'd done that day… nothing came. She could easily recall images of every resident and place within her sleepy little town and knew their relationship to each other and herself, but they were static, like photos taken by someone else. She had absolutely no memory of her life in Storybrooke.

This new development added another layer to an already complicated puzzle. Clearly, she was dealing with no amateur, but who, other than Rumplestiltskin, had the skill necessary to enact such an intricate deception. She'd just have to track the little weasel down when she woke and find out what he knew. For now, though, enough of her vulnerabilities had been exposed throughout this illusion and she refused to show any more.

"Well, Miss 'I'm in charge here', since I've obviously left my script for this farce at home, why don't you give me some insight into it and tell me why I'm supposedly here," she dissembled, "and where exactly _is_ 'here', by the way?"

"Uh huh…" Cameron's look clearly said she knew what Regina was hiding and her words confirmed it. "Patients often experience some short term amnesia upon waking from heavy sedation, especially if it's been a few days, as in your case. That should go away fairly quickly, though, so don't worry if it takes a day or two for everything to come back. 'Here', I'm assuming you want specifics, is the infirmary at Rosewood Psychiatric Hospital in Chicago, Illinois."

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**A/N: **First, thank you all for the amazing reviews and comments! I love when I get those emails. They seriously help me through my work week, especially since i'm not allowed to write there any more :( No worries though, I sneak in sometime when no one else is around ;D Also, congrats to rampantjake who was the first to see where I was going with this story! Hopefully, it's a little clearer from this chapter. I promise that not every one will start with Regina waking up, so if that's beginning to feel a bit repetitive, it won't be forever. But, where and when she wakes up is important so it won't go away completely. Thanks again and I look forward to hearing your feedback on this chapter, especially after I completely rewrote the thing and took it in a completely different direction. Love you guys!


	4. Chapter 4

**Possible trigger warnings in a couple spots. Nothing graphic, just a brief mention of sharp objects and a bottle of pills. Just in case.**

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"_Well, Miss 'I'm in charge here', since I've obviously left my script for this farce at home, why don't you give me some insight into it and tell me why I'm supposedly here," she dissembled, "and where exactly is 'here', by the way?"_

"_Uh huh…" Cameron's look clearly said she knew what Regina was hiding and her words confirmed it. "Patients often experience some short term amnesia upon waking from heavy sedation, especially if it's been a few days, as in your case. That should go away fairly quickly, though, so don't worry if it takes a day or two for everything to come back. 'Here', I'm assuming you want specifics, is the infirmary at Rosewood Psychiatric Hospital in Chicago, Illinois." _

Uncontrollable laughter bubbled deep within the brunette before bursting forth from between delicate, red lips as tears streamed unchecked from chocolate eyes. Regina clutched her stomach in a futile effort to ease the pain stitching her side while Cameron waited with little patience for the older woman to calm down.

"Not really the response we normally get," Cameron said with ill-concealed exasperation when Regina's laughter finally subsided into an occasional low chuckle.

"It's clear to me, Ms. Mills, that you aren't quite grasping the severity of your situation…"

"This is all so utterly clichéd it's beyond absurd," Regina commented in a low aside, completely ignoring the doctor as long, elegant fingers wiped away the tears that stubbornly clung to dark lashes. "Honestly, what better way to drive someone insane than to make them believe they are in a mental asylum? If this is the work of Rumplestiltskin, he sure fell short of his usual genius with this hackneyed situation."

"Are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?" Cameron nearly shrieked in aggravation, her alto voice climbing a few keys.

"I'd be more inclined to listen, dear," flashing brown eyes snapped to glowering green, "if you'd stop prattling on and answer my questions. The Devil is in the details, Doctor Cameron, and I'm still waiting to hear about my dramatic role in this charade. Or shall I just speculate?"

"I'm thinking…" Regina intoned before the fair-haired brunette could speak, propping her chin onto a clenched fist, one finger slowly tapping against her full lips as she assumed an expression of solemn contemplation.

"… deranged, sociopathic, mass murderer," she said after several long seconds.

"Or… oh, I know! Schizophrenic homeless woman who speaks to garbage cans and thinks that fairies live in light bulbs."

"Are you quite done now?" Cameron asked arms crossed, nearing the end of her limited tolerance.

"I'm sure I could come up with a thousand other possibilities, but then we'd be stuck here all day and, despite how amusing this is, I do have more important matters to attend. So please, continue," Regina replied with an arrogant wave of her hand.

Keen eyes easily caught the subtle clenching of the younger woman's jaw, the faint flare of nostrils, and the wildly pulsing vein at the base of her pale throat. Pearly-white teeth glinted under the florescent lighting as a self-satisfied smirk blossomed across full, red lips. Evidently, the good doctor possessed the same triggers as Emma and Regina was glad to find that love had not diminished her ability to ignite each one.

Calmly waiting to see if the younger woman would continue their delightful sparring match, Regina felt a small pang of disappointment flash through her as Cameron took a few deep breaths, deliberately easing the tension from her rigid form. Cool professionalism once again filled jade eyes as she spoke in an even tone, suggesting no hint to her previous anger.

"What little I know comes from your transfer and admittance paperwork, so you'll just have to settle for the basics for now. Apparently, you were found in your apartment passed out with an empty bottle of painkillers in one hand and a near empty bottle of vodka beside you. You were rushed to the hospital where they pumped your stomach after which you were placed under a three-day observation. When you refused to eat, drink, or comply with any form of treatment, the doctors deemed you clinically depressed and suicidal. No family or friends could be contacted on your behalf so you were placed under state custody and transferred here from Mercy General. When you fought against the move, they had to sedate you and you've been in the infirmary since then recovering from malnourishment and dehydration."

A heavy silence settled around the pair and Regina let it drag out several long moments for effect.

"Suicidal loner, huh?" she responded glibly. "Wouldn't have guessed that. Definitely lacking flair, but it'll do I suppose."

"Obviously," Cameron sighed in resignation, "you still believe this is all just an illusion. However, seeing as you'll be staying with us for the foreseeable future, there will be plenty of time to work on that."

* * *

Several hours later, Regina was still confined to her hospital bed, waiting for Cameron to finish gods-knew-what and release her. The tan dividing curtain had been pushed back, allegedly, so the duty nurse, a boney middle-aged woman with crow's feet and permanent frown lines, could keep her beady little eyes on her.

The view now afforded her was no more interesting than the previous one. Ten beds lined either side of the room evenly, two of which, other than hers, were occupied. Light snoring could be heard from the nearest one, while a stream of consciousness dialogue was sounding from the one beside it. The sole exit was located at the opposite end right next to 'Nurse Ratched's' desk, making escape virtually impossible.

Regina took great pride in the fact that she had nearly made it out that door not just once, but three times. It was for the best, she supposed. Finding an enchanter's mark took time, especially since they rarely spelled out their name in a flashing neon sign.

No, the truly talented ones preferred ambiguous hints; their favorite flower, an object of great significance to them, or even a loved one's face drawn in the stars. So pretty much anything and everything could be the symbol Regina needed. So, she resigned herself to wait until she could move about freely without half the staff chasing her through the hospital.

"Here you go, Regina," an annoyingly chipper voice sang out, causing her to lose count of the tiny black holes on the tile above her head.

"These will have to hold you until we can contact someone to bring some of your own," a nurse with crystal blue eyes and red hair pulled back into a French braid said, placing a small bundle of clothes at Regina's feet.

Just as quick, she was gone again, drawing the curtain behind her.

With an aggrieved sigh, the brunette sifted through the limited selection of sweats and t-shirts. Normally, she would have been appalled at the inferior fabrics, but at this point, she'd gladly wear a potato sack if it would get her out of this god-awful hospital gown.

"Good evening, Ms. Mills," a much more sedate voice sounded from behind as the brunette finished slipping the plain black shirt over her thin frame.

Regina nodded in greeting as she settled on the edge of the bed to pull on some thick, cotton socks while Dr. Cameron rattled on about her health.

"All in all, everything looks good," the lighter brunette explained as she flipped through Regina's chart. "Your CBC came back clean and your electrolyte levels are back to normal. Most importantly, there seems to be no permanent liver or kidney damage. I see no problem releasing you into the general population. Nurse Jamison here," the red haired nurse appeared once again, "will escort you there as soon as you're ready."

Apparently, the younger woman was still irked from their earlier interaction, leaving without another word. Regina shrugged it off as she followed Nurse Jamison, or Edie as everyone else called her, through a maze of corridors and locked doors while only half listening as the bubbly red haired nurse rattled off the hospitals rules and procedures.

"Morning meds start at 7 and evening rounds are at 9 followed by lights out at 10 sharp. Meals are served three times a day, but there are snacks that you can grab at any time in the cafeteria. Group therapy takes place in the main room twice a day at 11 and 4. You don't have to attend both, but one is required. Your individual sessions are at the doctor's discretion and he or she will let you know after your initial evaluation. Most importantly, no razors, glass, draw strings, thin metal, or sharp objects allowed."

"I think that's it. Any questions?" she asked when they reached the ward in which Regina's dream-self would now reside.

Raven locks swayed as Regina shook her head, thankful that she would soon be rid of the overly energetic young woman. Gods, how she loathed perky people. All she was missing was the chewing gum and pom-poms to complete the picture.

Edie greeted a husky male with dark eyes and a blond beard clad in white scrubs manning the nurses' station just inside the door before continuing down the nicotine stained hallway that probably hadn't seen a fresh coat of paint since the 70's.

Dozens of doors opened up on either side into other patients' rooms, most empty even at this time of day. At the far end of the corridor sat another nurses' station overlooking the common area, while across the hall from that was the dining room. Regina's room was halfway down on the left side and, thankfully, unoccupied. The brunette set the rest of her clothes at the foot of the bed farthest from the door in the hopes it would afford her some privacy from passing staff and patients.

Edie left her to settle in after informing her that evening meds would begin in just under an hour.

Flopping onto the lumpy bed, Regina began plotting her next move. Going out at this point would be nothing more than a waste of time. Even now, she could hear other 'patients' being escorted to their respective rooms. With any luck, they wouldn't lock her in and she could sneak around the ward hidden by the shadows.

Until then, brown eyes absently watched as silhouettes danced across grey walls in the growing darkness. The sun had set and Regina hoped when she once again returned home, she would have the necessary information to lift this curse. Despite her certainty that this was all a dream, just being stuck here as the seconds slowly ticked by threatened to drive her mad from sheer boredom.

Needling Cameron had been fun, but why settle for a cheap imitation when one had the real thing at home? Especially when, if done right, the results were much more… pleasant for both parties.

Regina blinked in the sudden illumination as a knock sounded against the wooden door.

"Good evening, Regina. My name's Jeanie," a plump, older woman with salt and pepper hair greeted as she wheeled a small, metal cart into the room.

"I'm just going to check your blood pressure and heart rate real quick, then it's time for your meds and lights out," she explained as she wrapped the pressure cuff around the brunette's arm.

"What are these for, exactly?" Regina asked as she took the clear plastic cup handed to her.

"The white one is to help you sleep and the yellow is just a general anti-depressant until your psychiatrist can determine if you need something different."

"And if I refuse to take them?" a dark eyebrow rose in challenge.

Jeanie just shrugged as she tidied up her supplies, "Doctor's orders, Hun. It's either take 'em here or have 'em administered through an IV in the med unit."

Well, that wouldn't do. She'd just be right back to where she started without making any progress. Besides, the medicine wasn't real so they shouldn't even affect her.

Seemingly unfazed by the contemptuous glare, that was mostly for show anyways, leveled her direction, Jeanie watched as Regina dutifully swallowed the pills before collecting the trash, turning off the bedroom lights, and continuing with her nightly rounds.

Silence descended upon the ward as the final door shut with a quiet snick and the metal cart returned to its rightful place until morning. With one final pass down the darkened hall before the end of shift, two nurses checked on their patients through the narrow window set in each door. Jeanie paused a second longer at a door halfway down the corridor. A small chuckle threatened to escape the older woman as she took in the sight of Regina Mills inelegantly sprawled out on top of the covers, mouth hanging wide open as deep, steady breaths rocked her small frame. Those meds always did hit the first timers the hardest.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry I'm a little late, but I skipped working out just to finish this up for you guys, so I hope that makes up for it. My only excuse is that I had a hard time figuring this chapter out. I had up through chapter 5 practically written, but only 1&2 have actually survived relatively intact. Everything else from that point on has completely changed and continues to do so every day. So all I can ask is for your continued patience and wonderful feed back. I say it every chapter and I mean it every time; you guys ROCK!


	5. Chapter 5

**Please note that no where in this story is it my intention to make fun of any person with any sort of mental health issues. Proceed.**

* * *

The ubiquitous, droning buzz of ceaseless chatter mixed with a blaring television that typically filled the sterile halls in ward 3 of Rosewood Psychiatric Hospital was noticeably absent this sunny autumn morning. Instead, the rise and fall of differing voices speaking in lone concert resounded off the concrete walls as each individual gathered took turns expressing their hopes, fears, and the myriad of problems they faced each day.

With one notable exception, of course.

Regina Mills sat imperiously in the hard plastic seat, arms folded across her chest and legs crossed while one sock-clad foot tapped an impatient, staccato beat against the linoleum floor. Stubbornly refusing to participate in the mandatory group therapy, she cursed herself, yet again, for not paying attention to the passing time. Caught up in searching the common room, she had failed to realize the assembling group until it was too late. So there she sat in the large circle of chairs and couches, blocking out the incessant whining of those around her as best she could. No small feat, for sure, since more than one resident had the aggravating habit of speaking to someone, or something, that clearly only they could see.

Absently watching the man directly opposite from her, the one chewing his nails until they bled as he rocked back and forth non-stop in a most hypnotic fashion, questions churned within her clever mind with little hope of being answered in her current position. Unfortunately, what she'd found upon waking had been no help either.

_The meds she'd been forced to take had proven surprisingly, and disturbingly, effective. Unable to resist their pull, Regina had collapsed onto the uncomfortable mattress, drifting off to sleep…_

_And immediately awoke in a large, empty bed centered in yet another unfamiliar room. _

_Groggily rubbing the haze from her chocolate eyes, Regina took in the four-posted, canopy frame cradling the luxurious, down mattress she rested upon. Sheer, crimson fabric draped elegantly along the top and ran down the intricately carved columns in each corner to brush against the floor beneath. A matching plush comforter covered the expansive bed, detailed with delicate black stitching in an elaborate floral pattern. _

_Propping herself onto her elbows, Regina got her first look at the room beyond the bed. Bright morning light streamed in through the enormous floor-to-ceiling windows spaced evenly in the outer stone wall on her right, illuminating the black marble floors and ebony furniture scattered throughout the enormous space. A large vanity covered in various bottles and jars of delicate glass and silver sat against the wall to her left while straight across the room several plump chairs and a long divan were situated around the rough, stone fireplace. _

_Regina's initial surprise wore off as memories broke through her sleep-induced fog, slowly trickling into place to form a mosaic of her life until now. Images flashed quicksilver through her mind; the dark, lonely years she'd suffered in Storybrooke until the brilliant light of Henry chased away the gloom, her fear that Emma's arrival would take away the one good thing in her life, her surprise to find she'd gained so much more when the younger woman's love finally healed her shattered heart, and their forgiveness the soothing balm on her tainted soul. _

_In the end, there'd been no epic battle, no bloodshed, just a simple kiss and they'd returned to Fairytale World. She wondered why she hadn't remembered that in her 'dream' with Dr. Cameron._

Well, the number of possible culprits just shot up tenfold, _Regina thought with a hint of dismay. _This may take longer than I'd hoped.

"_Good morning, gorgeous," a throaty voice purred, chasing away the brunette's worries for now._

_Brown eyes instantly lit up and a slow, devilish grin spread across full, red lips as Regina watched her girlfriend saunter in, golden curls piled atop her head and nothing but a navy blue silk robe covering her exquisite frame. Tantalizing, pale skin flashed before her greedy eyes as the blonde leaned down to place a loving, but all to brief, kiss upon her waiting lips. Regina whimpered at the sudden loss of contact and Emma shot her a knowing smirk before making her way into their changing room just to the left of the fireplace. The brunette swore there was just a bit more swagger in the younger woman's hips than usual and had to restrain herself from chasing after her. _

"_Any thoughts on what we should do today?" a muffled voice called through the open door._

"_Besides spending the entire day in bed?" Regina asked semi-playfully, with just a touch of hope._

"_Yes, Regina," the blonde replied with an exasperated sigh, but Regina could easily hear the smile she was trying to suppress. _

"_Well, if that's completely out of the question then, I haven't got a clue, honestly," the brunette called back, running delicate fingers idly through her long raven hair. "Though, there is some research I need to do in the library…"_

"_Aww… Come on, 'Gina," Emma all but whined as she emerged fully dressed. _

_Regina found the blonde's childish pout absolutely adorable, but it was her lithe figure that caused her breathing to hitch every time. A flowing, white shirt hinted at the delicate curves and strong muscles hidden beneath while tight, brown leather pants clung to the powerful thighs that flexed with each step as Emma made her way over to the bed. Seating herself on the edge of the mattress, the blonde pulled a pair of calf-high boots from underneath the frame, slipping them on and lacing them up as she continued, shaking the brunette from her appreciative reverie. _

"_You've been busy all this week and I know it's a lot of work ruling an empire and all, but you promised Henry _and _me that you'd take today off for some family time." _

_Finished with her shoes, Emma turned pleading green eyes her way and Regina knew she was lost. It was hard enough to tell her lover no, though she'd never actually admit that aloud, but that look got her each and every time. Unfortunately, Henry had inherited the same expression; combine the two and it was nearly lethal._

"_You know how rare it is for him to actually want to spend time with us now. I swear if that kid doesn't get out of this angsty teenage phase soon, I'm going to give him a quick smack to the back of the head."_

_The brunette chuckled in understanding as she scooted across the bed. Henry had been a handful as a kid, but as a teen he was damn near impossible._

_Raising her hand to push thick, golden tresses away from the pale face, Regina smiled contentedly at the love she saw shining in the jade depths before her. _

Gods, I don't deserve her.

"_You're absolutely right, dear," she agreed easily, shaking away the morose thought as she cupped the blonde's jaw and leaned in for another kiss, this one deeper than the last. _

_A gentle sigh sounded in the silent room as they met with tender affection. Regina groaned at the light flick of the blonde's tongue against her lips, quickly granting the younger woman entrance to taste and explore the recesses of her mouth. Tangling her fingers into corn-silk waves, the brunette pulled Emma with her as she lay back against the bed, reveling in the delightful weight of the delicious body resting against her own. _

_After several long, pleasant moments, Emma pulled back slowly, but remained settled between Regina's long legs, a mischievous grin on her kiss-swollen lips._

"_Nice try, sweetheart, but Henry is waiting and the last thing we need is him barging in here while we're… indisposed. Though, trust me when I say, your offer is very tempting, but we did promise."_

"_Yes, we did and I have every intention of keeping all of my promises to you and our son," Regina vowed sincerely, knowing just how lucky she truly was. "You may just have to remind me sometimes."_

_Emma nodded in understanding before rolling to her side, releasing the brunette. With another quick kiss, Regina hopped out of bed and pulled the blonde to her feet. _

"_Now go see what you and Henry can come up with for today while I get ready," the older woman instructed with a playful slap to a leather-clad butt as she shooed the blonde out the door. _

_The research could wait until she actually had something more concrete to use, Regina decided as she entered the dressing room. Besides, family always came first._

"Regina."

"Regina, you with us?"

Snapped from her pleasant memory, Regina's blazing brown eyes glared beneath a menacingly arched eyebrow at the young intern that dared to disturb her. Sweat beaded along his freckled brow as she maintained her unyielding silence, waiting for him to get around to whatever it was he wanted.

"I..I wa-was just wondering,' he gulped uneasily, 'i-if you had anything to add to this session s-since you've been so quiet the last few times."

"Th-that's okay," he stuttered after a few moments under her intense scrutiny, "maybe next time. What about you Andrew, anything you want to talk about today?"

* * *

**A/N: **So, I've been getting a lot of 'I have no idea what is going on' reviews and, honestly, I love them. As long as they aren't stemming from confusing writing on my end, you really aren't supposed to know a lot. Evil, I know, but as Regina learns what is going on, so will you. All questions will be answered in time, so just stick with me and we'll get there. Hope you liked this little bit with Emma. It's about damn time, honestly. I missed her and they are so gosh darn cute together. As always, thank you for reading and especially commenting. Much love to you all!


	6. Chapter 6

"Here we are, Ms. Mills. If you'll just take a seat, the doctor will be with you in a few minutes," the nurse said before pulling the door shut behind her.

Leaving a mental patient unsupervised in an office didn't seem like a very intelligent policy, but who was she to complain? She'd already visited this damn dream three times before and was no closer to finding what she needed. Now she had the opportunity to search an area she hadn't already been over a hundred times.

Not wasting a second more, Regina strode across the faded blue carpet to the mahogany desk that dominated a fair amount of space in the small room. Pulling at each drawer, the brunette grunted in frustration to find them all locked.

_Seems at least one person here has more than half a brain… damn._

Lacking the time, and skills, necessary to pick the locks, she abandoned them in favor of shuffling through the mountainous stacks of papers liberally coating the wooden surface, which proved to be nothing more than useless medical articles.

Releasing an aggravated sigh, Regina stood behind the desk, arms akimbo, as she took a moment to study the office carefully.

The faint voices of patients taking a smoke break or just enjoying the afternoon sun filtered through the small window behind her. Flanking either side, two large bookcases filled with thick tomes ate up the remaining wall space in the small office. A pair of worn armchairs sat in front of the desk while tasteful, framed prints covered the industrial grey walls. Brown eyes landed on the three beige, metal filing cabinets, which, upon reaching, also proved to be locked.

"You're not going to find it in here," a stern voice sounded from behind.

Spinning on her heels, Regina once again found herself face to face with Dr. Cameron, arms firmly crossed over her chest with a folder clutched tightly in one hand and a grim countenance upon her strong features. The familiar thrill of mutual antagonism settled low in the brunette's belly and she prepared herself for the coming battle of wills.

"I'm sorry, dear. I have no idea to what you're referring," she responded, a saccharine smile painted across her lips. "I was just taking a moment to admire the splendid artwork displayed."

"Don't even try to play coy with me, Ms. Mills. You know exactly what I'm talking about and I'm telling you, it isn't here."

"How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Regina asked with a hint of challenge.

"Because this is my office," Cameron explained as she made her way across the room, dropping the folder amongst the chaos of her desk.

"You're office?" Regina asked genuinely surprised. "Then where am I supposed to meet with my psychiatrist?"

"You're looking at her," the flaxen brunette responded, removing her white lab coat before placing it along the back of her chair and taking a seat.

"I was under the impression that you were a medical doctor."

"I am," Cameron responded simply.

A few moments passed as both women maintained eye contact; Cameron's level, jade eyes unflinching beneath Regina's unrelenting brown.

"And?" Regina finally snapped.

"And what?" the younger woman asked slightly confused.

"I know how this works, Dr. Cameron. I'm just supposed to tell you my life story while you give nothing in return, but how am I to trust you as my psychiatrist when I'm not even sure you're qualified?"

_Not that I'll be able to trust you regardless, but clearly you're a significant figure in this hallucination so there has to be something I can learn from you. _

Cameron's eyes narrowed slightly, almost as if she could hear the thoughts tumbling around in the brunette's mind.

"Fair enough," she finally conceded, relaxing her rigid posture marginally.

"I am… was trained as surgeon and even spent several years practicing. When I moved to Chicago, I felt a change was in order and got this fellowship in psych. Our main physician, Dr. Chopra, is out this week attending a conference and I was tagged to cover for him. Lucky me. Satisfied?"

"For now," Regina nodded.

The fair-haired physician's words provided no earth shattering or, in this case, curse breaking information, but it was more than she'd been able to get out of the stoic young woman thus far.

_Baby steps and patience_, Regina thought in annoyance.

Neither were something she dealt well with, but it never hurt to have a backup and Doctor Cameron looked like she'd make a good 'Plan B'.

"Excellent. Let's move on then, shall we?" Cameron asked rhetorically, waving Regina into one of the chairs across from her.

Regina sank primly into the cushioned seat, back straight and legs crossed with delicate fingers interlaced over her knee. If she'd dressed in one of her suits or royal gowns instead of the baggy sweats she was currently wearing, she would have been the epitome of elegant serenity. A far cry from the group session earlier in the day.

"So, how have you settled into everything over the last few days?" Cameron started.

"I've had no issues so far," Regina responded easily with a negligent shrug.

"I'm sure," the younger woman deadpanned. "Don't think I haven't heard about you terrorizing my interns in the group therapy or your tendency to wander into other patients' rooms without permission. Oh, and let's not forget about the unauthorized nightly strolls through the ward."

"Again, Doctor, I have no idea what you are talking about," Regina replied, placid smile firmly fixed.

Green eyes rolled in exasperation, "Ms. Mills, we really are just trying to help you here. I wish you could see that."

"As I've told you before, I don't need any help. At least not the kind you're trying to force upon me. If you really wanted to help, you'd allow me unlimited access to this hospital so I can find what I need and end this farce."

"Uh-huh," Cameron said, pausing momentarily before asking, "How are your medications working out for you? No side effects or anything like that?"

"None so far," the brunette breezed, unfazed by the abrupt subject change. "Why do you ask?'

Green eyes narrowed once more and a furrow settled between pale brows, "You're not even taking them are you?!"

"I most certainly am!" Regina exclaimed in indignation. "Your staff watches me like a hawk every morning and evening to guarantee that I'm following _your _orders."

_Of course, I just slip them under my tongue and spit them back out when they aren't looking, but that's neither here nor there._

Thankfully, Emma's carbon copy didn't appear to possess the blonde's super lie detecting power, because Cameron finally relented.

"Fine. I'll take your word on this… for now. However, if I get the slightest hint that you aren't complying, I will send you straight back to the infirmary and give them to you we clear?"

"Crystal."

"Alright. Now that we've gotten the pleasantries out of the way, we can actually begin. Since this is your first one-on-one session with me, we won't get into the heavy stuff just yet. I like to take my time getting to know my patients so that I can figure out the best way to treat them. The nurses have noted that you've yet to regain any of your memories, which is why I decided to do some quick background research on you."

"Really… And just what did you find, Doctor?" Regina asked, curious despite herself.

Opening the file she'd brought in with her, Cameron read out the information she had.

"Regina Marie Mills, born July 15, 1977 in Brooklyn, New York to Henry and Cora Mills, both deceased. My resources are limited, but I know that you lived here for most of your childhood, before moving away and then returning almost two years ago. Though, why and where you went, I haven't been able to find. The paramedics took you from your apartment up in the Gold Coast, so whatever your occupation, clearly it pays well…"

"I'm an artist," Regina broke in, shocking herself and Cameron with her abrupt interruption.

Brown eyes blinked rapidly as she stammered, "'I-I have no idea where that came from."

No one other than Emma and Henry knew about her secret passion and she made sure to sign all of her works with a pseudonym. Only a few had ever been showcased in the local gallery and even then, they were nothing more than loans from her own extensive private collection of several artists.

"Take it as a good sign, Ms. Mills," Cameron's pleased voice snapped Regina from her thoughts. "Frankly, I'm amazed it's taken this long for any of your memories to return. It's a positive step forward."

"Far from it actually," Regina muttered to herself.

"Shall I continue?" Cameron asked, not hearing, or merely ignoring, the brunette's mumbled words.

"If you must," Regina answered. "You're sure to tell me everything sooner or later, so we might as well get it out of the way now."

"There's actually not much left. I couldn't find a marriage license or domestic partnership on record, so no spouse, and no birth certificates with you listed as the mother or any adoption papers with your name, so no children either."

"I have no spouse," Regina calmly refuted, "because Emma and I aren't married yet nor could we legally do so in the majority of states in this country. My _son, _Henry, has never even set foot in Illinois, so I'm not surprised you couldn't find a record of him here."

"That's the thing, Ms. Mills. I also searched for 'Emma Swan' and there is no record of her in Illinois or Maine. Furthermore, the town of Storybrooke isn't located on any map, not even Google could find it. So how can you expect me to believe these people even exist?"

"Frankly, I don't expect you to believe me at all," the brunette replied honestly. "Nor do I really care. You can't find Storybrooke because it was never officially on any map and you can't find any record of Emma or Henry because they aren't here anymore. Chances are good that every trace of us was wiped clean when the curse broke and we all returned to Fairytale World. Just as if we were never even here. That's how these things usually work."

"The same curse that has you 'trapped' here now?" Cameron asked, head tilted in interest.

"Not even close, dear," Regina explained, a touch of pride lacing her voice and a smug smile gracing her full lips. "My spell was a work of genius and while I can't claim its invention, the true skill was in arranging all of the details and writing new memories for every single person so no one would ever know. That… was all me."

"If no one knew about it, then how did it end?"

Regina could practically see the younger woman waiting to jump on her lack of response, thinking she'd cornered the brunette in some kind of plot hole.

"True love can break any curse, Doctor," Regina answered gravely, carefully concealing her delight that she was right as she watched the younger woman's face shift minutely in disappointment.

"Ah… okay," Cameron responded, obviously stymied by the unexpected response.

"I'm not really sure what to say to that, but we're out of time anyways so it'll just have to wait until our next session. Until then, I want you to take this journal," she said, handing over a composition notebook. "Most patients find that it helps to write down their thoughts and feelings. It's not a requirement and if you choose to do so, you won't have to share anything you aren't comfortable with in either session. Just make sure you don't leave it lying around in the open because not all patients are respectful of other peoples' personal property."

Regina ignored the pointed jab at her behavior as she made her way to the nurse now patiently waiting for her in the open doorway.

"One more thing, Ms. Mills," Cameron called out before Regina passed into the corridor.

Turning back around, brown eyes met green with a questioning quirk of a dark eyebrow.

"What exactly does this 'mark' look like?"

Regina thought carefully for a few seconds, before deciding that there was no harm in the truth.

"I don't know," she answered with an unconcerned shrug.

"Then how will you know when you find it?"

"Magic, of course," with that she left the other woman to ponder her enigmatic answer.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you guys, for sticking with me and commenting or following the story. I've had several people offering theories as to what is going on. I gotta admit, several are really good. And had I thought of those first, I might have used them. Of course, I'm not going to say if any are right, but keep 'em coming cause not only are they entertaining, but they may also inspire future fics. Though, not too many, cause I already have two more epic ones rolling around in my head. On a different note, if you haven't seen the sneak peek for the first episode of season 2, check it out! Regina does this jacket flick thing that nearly killed me in it's sexyness, and she totally has a moment that's very similar to something that happened in a previous chapter of this fic. So, I'm pretty pleased with myself even if it is just a coincidence. Alright... Much love to you all and let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Self-harm trigger warning. Nothing graphic though.**

* * *

Panting gasps of labored breathing echoed in the morning air as the miles disappeared beneath the steady thud of pounding footfalls. Spotting her goal dead ahead, the woman put forth one final frantic burst of speed and energy. Passing the lamppost that marked the end of her five-mile run, Doctor Allison Cameron slowed to a light jog allowing her breathing to ease and strained muscles to cool down from the exertion she'd just subjected them to.

The stitches she now sported on both sides of her abdomen were not-so-subtle reminders that her last run had been far too long ago and that she had definitely overdone it this time.

Running had always been a way to clear her mind of the stress and worry that seemed to permeate her life. The cool air washing over her sweat-slicked skin, wind rushing in her ears to drown out noise of the city surrounding her, and the rhythm of her feet striking pavement mixing hypnotically with her, normally, even breathing, pushed everything from her perpetually churning mind and allowed her to just be. Unfortunately, once she stopped it all flooded back in unimpeded and more tumultuous than ever.

Releasing a heavy sigh as she took a long pull from the water bottle strapped to her side, Cameron made her way over to the nearest bench, stretching her long, bare arms along the back and kicking her feet out in front of her.

Green eyes closed in appreciation as she tilted her face towards the warm mid-morning sun. Winter was just around the corner and she was determined to make the most of this final weekend of pleasant weather, before the bone deep cold settled in for the next several months.

Children laughed and screamed in the distance as they clambered over the jungle gym while their parents conversed amongst themselves. Groups of college kids proudly displaying shirts from various local colleges and universities, milled around playing Frisbee or tackle football, and fair number of runners and cyclists dominated the path weaving around the grassy park bordered by the city on one side and Lake Michigan on the other.

These sounds, like the cool breeze flowing in off the nearby lake, swept unnoticed over the young doctor as her thoughts settled once more on the catalyst for her impromptu run. The insufferable Regina Mills had graced her office every day for the past week and each meeting had become increasingly unproductive until the final one, yesterday afternoon, where the recalcitrant brunette had maintained a willful silence the entire hour.

At this point, Cameron had no clue if the older woman was just that deep into her own delusional world or if it was all some big act. Wouldn't be the first time she'd seen someone who just wanted attention, but, as far as she could tell, Regina had no family and no one had come to visit her since she'd been admitted the week prior. So, if that were the case, then whose attention was she trying to grab?

No. From observing the older brunette as she spoke of Emma and Henry along with her reactions to everything thus far, Cameron knew that Regina believed every word she said.

_There's more to this, though. I can feel it niggling the back of my brain, but… argh… damned if I know what it is!_

Realizing she wouldn't find any answers on her own, Cameron pushed herself off the bench, wincing at the slight twinge of protest from her underutilized muscles as she made her way to the car. She had a call to make and maybe some painkillers wouldn't be such a bad idea either.

* * *

Radiant sunlight filtering in through the heavy blinds danced across the pale face and golden curls of the still sleeping doctor. Groaning at the intrusive glare glowing red behind her closed eyelids, Cameron rolled over and buried her head beneath the nearest pillow.

_Stupid sun waking me up early on my day off. Who's the evil genius that made mornings so friggin' bright anyways? _

"Oh, Christ," she exclaimed as she jolted up to check the clock on the nightstand.

Its glowing green display showed exactly what she'd feared. Not only was it Monday, and thus a workday, but she'd also slept through both of her alarms.

"Great… now I'm gonna be late. Gods, I hate Mondays."

Quickly stripping out of her pajamas and throwing on the first pair of clean slacks and matching top she could find, Cameron made her way to the kitchen where, thankfully, her coffee pot was set to brew automatically each morning. Pouring a cup, she flinched as the scalding liquid scorched a blazing path down her throat, but she didn't have time to wait for it to cool.

Subsequent sips didn't burn near as bad as the young woman ransacked her apartment looking for her wayward shoes.

_Shit! Where did I put them? _

Realizing they weren't anywhere in the bedroom or living room, she turned to go check the coat closet, chastising herself for never remembering to put them in one specific spot like she swore she would every time this happened. Agitated and thoroughly distracted, she failed to notice the light jacket she'd carelessly tossed across the recliner the day before that now rested on her hardwood floor. Bare feet slipped out from under her and she was just able to catch her balance on the chair before she met a rather painful tumble.

Sadly, the same could not be said for her coffee mug. White ceramic shattered on impact spilling the dark liquid in a great puddle across the maple flooring. What little that was not spreading towards her large area rug, was soaking into the shirt that clung wetly to her chest and upper torso.

Cursing a blue streak that would have made a seasoned sailor blush, Cameron stormed back into her room, reemerging a few minutes later no longer sticky and in a new shirt and bra. Tossing a towel over the mess to soak it up before it did any more damage, she grabbed her low-heeled shoes from the closet and hastily slid them on. Still muttering to herself, she snatched her keys off the counter and her messenger bag from the bar stool before slamming the door shut and locking it behind her.

Stopping briefly at her office once she'd finally arrived at Rosewood, Cameron threw her bag into the bottom drawer of her desk and grabbed the long, white coat with her name stitched across the left breast. Walking as quickly as she could without actually running, the young brunette easily navigated the twisting corridors until she reached the conference room where their morning staff meetings were held.

Smoothing out her coat, she eased the door open quietly so as not to disturb whoever was speaking and in the hopes of entering unnoticed. Slipping into the empty seat nearest the door and nodding to the intern in the chair next to hers, she was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when she noticed the disapproving grey eyes of Dr. Lawson glaring at her from the head of the table.

It figured, even in a room packed with twenty-plus doctors and interns, Lawson would still spot her; the woman had better vision than a hawk. Resigning herself to yet another lecture on punctuality, Cameron eased back into her chair as she idly focused on the meeting.

After her run and a quick shower Saturday, she'd contacted a friend of hers over at Mercy General hopeful that he'd be able to find any medical records they might have for Ms. Mills. When he vacillated saying it wasn't his job and that he was _so _busy, she reminded him that he still owed her big time after that train wreck of a double date he'd conned her into with his cousin, 'the dancer'. Stripper was a more accurate term and, while she held nothing against her for her chosen profession, the tiresomely persistent woman had absolutely no sense of boundaries. Needless to say, Cameron had not called her for a second date.

Mercy had no records of Ms. Mills, however, Darius had expanded his search and found two other hospitals that did. He'd even pulled some strings and had gotten the files delivered to her the next day. Reading through them last night had led to a rather late bedtime and thus her disastrous morning. She had another session today with the older woman just after lunch and she deliberated the best way to broach the subject and if it'd even have any effect at all.

Every other thing she'd said to the stubborn brunette had gone unheard so she doubted this would have much impact. She didn't know how much longer she could talk until she blue in the face before she'd have hand the case over to someone else. Failure was not something that sat well with her, but if she couldn't break Ms. Mills of her delusions and make her face reality, then she was doing both of them a great disservice by remaining her doctor.

"Dr. Cameron," an irritated voice snapped her from her thoughts.

"Would you care to share with the rest of us just what has you so fascinated?"

Fighting the blush she could feel creeping up her neck and along her pale cheeks, Cameron replied in a properly repentant voice, "No, Dr. Lawson. My apologies. I was thinking about one of my patients. It won't happen again."

"We _all _have patients, Doctor, and maybe if you listened to those around you with more experience, you might just learn something that could help," the grey-haired doctor clipped pointedly before resuming the meeting.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully with a few sessions interspersed with a gigantic amount of paperwork. Holing up in her office seemed the best method of avoiding Dr. Lawson and had, thus far, proved effective with the only close call happening when she'd gone to snag lunch from the cafeteria.

At the knock on her door, Cameron hastily swallowed the last bite of her sandwich before tossing the container in the wastebasket as she called out, "Come in."

The apathetic countenance of Regina Mills could not completely hide the keen brown eyes that carefully observed her surroundings. As much as she tried to appear indifferent and unaffected, Cameron knew the brunette was well aware of everything that went on.

Regina sat with perfect poise in her customary seat, legs crossed with her hands delicately folded on top of the notebook resting on her lap. Cameron couldn't help but take a little pride in the knowledge that Ms. Mills had at least taken her advice on journaling. Though she'd not shared anything from it in their sessions, the young doctor had yet to see the brunette without it. A small victory, but she'd take what she could get.

The two women regarded each other impassively as silent minutes ticked on. Despite the older woman's inscrutable expression, Cameron could swear there was just a hint of a challenge in those lustrous brown eyes. Almost as if she was daring the younger woman to find a something, anything, that would throw her enough to get her to speak. Something she was sure the other woman thought impossible.

"Well, Ms. Mills, would you care to start us off today or shall I?" Cameron asked unwilling to waste any more time.

When the brunette, unsurprisingly, remained silent, the doctor continued.

"That's what I thought. Very well. Since our last few sessions have been completely unproductive and you're unwilling to divulge anything about yourself, I had a friend of mine track down your medical records for me over the weekend."

A dark eyebrow arched showing Cameron that the other woman was in fact listening and possibly even interested in what she'd found.

"It seems as if you've been admitted to two other hospitals for attempted suicide. The first time was at Northwestern last October and then Mount Sinai this past May. Is there any significance to the days you chose or were they just normal days where you woke up and thought 'this is it'?"

Brown eyes narrowed ever so slightly as the other woman clenched her jaw, but otherwise remained silent.

"Alright… why did you switch from razor blades to pills after the first time? Did you think it'd be easier? Or were the wounds left behind too much to deal with?"

Regina blinked in obvious confusion, "I have no idea what you are talking about, Doctor."

"Ms. Mills, I've seen the scars," Cameron thought she saw the brunette flinch at this, but she couldn't be sure "I'd assumed they were from a previous attempt, but we haven't gotten that far in any of our sessions yet."

"With all due respect, dear, there are no marks, healed or otherwise, on my arms. See for yourself."

Regina sat forward and held out her long arms towards Cameron, who could clearly see twin, pale lines running horizontally across tan wrists.

"Can you really not see them?" Cameron asked in shock.

"See what, Doctor? There is nothing there," the brunette's low voice snapped impatiently.

Clearly, Regina's belief that this was all a dream affected her perception of reality on a much deeper level the Cameron had initially realized.

_I wonder if she knows about the others. _

"You have dragged me into this office every day for nearly a week and I must say it's becoming rather tedious," the older woman continued. "I realize that it's your job to convince me that I am actually insane…"

"I don't think you're crazy, Ms. Mills," Cameron broke in earning an incredulous look from the brunette.

"Honestly, I don't. I think that this world you created and the fact that you can't remember _anything_ from your past, with the exception of your occupation, signifies something painful has happened to you and your mind is trying to protect itself. Some people develop multiple personalities, some retreat fully into their mind to the point that they become catatonic, and others, like you, live in a world of their own design. That does not make you crazy. It makes you human. We all cope in our own ways, Ms. Mills, but in order to help you, I have to know what you're dealing with. You're lack of cooperation only hinders your progress and keeps you here that much longer."

An indecipherable look once again settled across the brunette's tan features. Cameron could practically hear the gears turning in Regina's mind as she waited patiently for the older woman's response.

"What were the days?" she finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Excuse me?"

"The dates," Regina clarified. "What were the dates of my alleged suicide attempts?"

"Oh, uhh…" Cameron pulled the files from her bag, shuffling through them quickly.

The request had caught her by surprise; she hadn't really expected the older woman to respond.

"Let's see. The first on was October the twenty-eighth and the second… May thirtieth. Why? Are they important?"

"Yes, Doctor, they are. Those are Emma and Henry's birthdays, respectively."

"Okay," Cameron responded slowly, unsure exactly what this meant or how it fit in with everything else. One missing puzzle piece found, but no place to put it yet.

"What about this last time, September ninth? Any significance to that day?"

"No," Regina responded after a few seconds, "not as far as I can tell."

Feeling as if they'd finally made some progress, Cameron finished the session and watched as the brunette was escorted out by Nurse Potter. The only thing hampering her pleased satisfaction with their results that afternoon was the mildly troubled look that had resided in Ms. Mills eyes as she'd walked out.

An unexpected knock startled the young doctor and she bit back a groan of dismay as Dr. Lawson entered without waiting for admittance.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Cameron. I hope this isn't a bad time."

The wicked gleam in flashing grey eyes and the smug smile pulling at thin lips told Cameron all she needed to know. Lawson was about to deliver another one of her legendarily scathing lectures and, since Ms. Mills had been her last patient for the day, she had no hope of escape.

_Gods, I hate Mondays._

* * *

**A/N: **First, OH MY GODS THE NEW SEASON STARTS SUNDAY! Okay, now that my fangirl moment is over... I must, of course, thank you all for continuing to read, favorite, and/or comment on this story. It does my little geeky heart good :) I actually really like this chapter b/c I feel it may be the most well rounded chapter i've ever written. I know the story has been a little slow so far, but stick with me cause things start to shift in the next couple chapters and more will be revealed. There may also be a little lovin soon. Just sayin' ;) Also, I'm on twitter now ( JadziaDax86) if you wanna hit me up. Follow me, I follow you; it's a win-win. All my love and gratitude to you guys!


	8. Chapter 8

**Please note the rating change. **Yes, it means what you think it does. Please read the author's note at the end too, cause I have important things to discuss with all of you. I'm giving you 4,361 pre-author's notes words here, just give me 30 seconds of your time at the end. Enjoy!

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"Good morning, dear," Regina greeted cheerfully, her stiletto boots clicking against black marble as she made her way across the dining hall to the long wooden table set in the center.

"Morning," Emma mumbled absently, her brows furrowed in deep concentration as she studied the piece of parchment held in her hands.

Regina stopped beside the younger woman's chair, grasping a fist full of blonde locks and tugging before sweeping in for a brief, but thorough, kiss. Green eyes sparkled as she pulled back slightly and waited.

"Good morning, my love," Emma amended with an indulgent smile across her pink lips.

"Mmmm… much better, thank you," the brunette whispered with another quick kiss before resuming her trek.

"Has Henry come down to breakfast yet?" she asked, taking her customary seat at the head of the table as she studied the various selection of fruits, breads, and meats already laid out.

"Yeah," the blonde answered setting aside report she'd been reading. "He came down about half an hour ago. Hansel and Gretel are in the city for a week with their father, so he asked to join them for the day; he probably won't be back until after dinner. I figured you wouldn't mind, so I said he could."

"Of course not," she assured after swallowing the bite of strawberry she'd just taken, "it's been ages since they've seen each other. He's been concentrating so much energy on his studies and training lately; it'll do him some good to get out of the castle for a while."

There was no hiding the note of pride lacing her voicing, nor did she even try. Ever since their return, Henry had been determined to be the best prince he could; not surprising since he'd spent years wishing for exactly that. Both women couldn't have been prouder of the remarkable young man their son had become.

"Besides," Regina continued, "I still have that last meeting with the Dwarven delegation to get through today and I know you've been busy trying to recruit villagers for your civilian watch. How is that coming along, by the way? Are you finding enough people interested?"

Popping a grape in her mouth, she focused her full attention on her partner, genuinely curious about the younger woman's project. It had taken Emma a while to settle down in this unfamiliar world and the brunette was glad she'd finally found something she was not only passionate about, but also utilized the younger woman's various skills to benefit the kingdom.

"Uh… yeah, it's going well," the blonde replied haltingly.

"Didn't you finish all of that yesterday?" Emma questioned after a few seconds, a frown pulling the corners of her mouth down ever so slightly. "I'm certain I saw their caravan leaving early this morning. You never stirred, but the racket they were raising sure as hell woke me up."

Regina faltered, quickly replaying the last week through her mind. Frankly, the tedious negations tended to all run together, but she clearly remembered the previous meeting and they'd yet finalized everything.

Slowly, like fog evaporating in the early morning sun, a previously undetected haze cleared from her mind revealing images of her signing the finished contract alongside an elderly dwarf.

"Of course, dear," she responded distractedly, "you're absolutely right. What I meant was that I'm convening the Council to ensure the next part of our contract with the Dwarves gets underway as soon as possible."

Standing quickly, she placed the cloth napkin that had resided in her lap for the duration of her meal on the table before turning to meet concerned, jade eyes.

Pasting what she hoped was a reassuring smile on her face, she said, "I'm sorry to cut our time together short, darling, but the Council should be gathering before long and I would like to conclude this matter as soon as possible."

"I'll see you at lunch, though," she called over her shoulder as her long legs carried her out of the dining hall and into the network of corridors that connected every room within the immense castle.

Easily navigating her way through the well-known maze, she headed towards the assembly hall still pondering her momentary lack of memory. Clearly, it was an effect of the curse, but whether or not it was another aspect of the spell itself was impossible to tell.

_It's more likely a result of the negotiations with those miserly dwarves combined with the fact that I feel like I haven't slept in at least a fortnight. _

Satisfied with that conclusion, she pushed aside her thoughts as she entered the Council's chambers.

"Thank you, everyone, for coming this morning," she greeted the gathered gentlemen, announcing her arrival while simultaneously ceasing their disjointed murmuring.

As one, they rose to their feet and bowed in a display of respect as she made her way to the slightly raised dais overlooking the room. Settling on the simple throne, she recognized their gesture with a small tilt of her head before calling the meeting to order.

A few short hours later, Regina entered her study intent on finishing the more pressing paperwork piling up on her desk, before joining Emma for lunch. Mayor, Queen; it didn't matter. In the end, it always boiled down to paperwork and it wasn't long before a small headache had formed behind her weary eyes.

With an inattentive wave of her hand, candles flickered to life around her, illuminating the gradually darkening room. Winter was closing in on them, the sun setting earlier each day and the servants made sure the rooms facing east were kept well supplied for the long hours without natural light.

Rotating her aching neck until the vertebrae clicked back into place, Regina picked up yet another missive on some minor squabble between two lesser aristocratic families.

_Gods, don't I pay people to handle these things for me? _She thought, skimming through the details about a dispute over a goat or some other such nonsense.

_There must undoubtedly be a better use of my time. The nobles are always clamoring for a stronger voice within the realm, after all._

As annoying as they were, they did serve their purpose on occasion and Regina had been able to find some loyal, if slightly dull, followers; ones that hadn't wanted her head on a pike as soon as the curse had broken.

_Maybe, I can arrange a committee to deal with these ridiculous feuds. With the right spin, they'll think it's more about my trust in them and less about my complete lack of desire to get involved in petty claims. _

She may have changed her evil ways, but a little manipulation was to be expected in politics. At least she got results without stealing hearts anymore, even if it wasn't quite as efficient. That had to count for something, right?

_I'll put Lord Alfred on it first thing in the morning. He's been the biggest complainer and being in charge of this project should cease his incessant yammering. Maybe then, I can focus on ending the curse. _

With this hectic week behind her, she might actually be able to find the necessary time to pursue the subject. Searching within the dream itself had proven useless, so far. By the end of the first week, she'd already thoroughly searched the small area she was allowed to roam twice, been locked in her room three times, and she still couldn't perform any magic.

It wasn't for lack of trying either. She'd spent countless hours in her room over the first few days trying every spell she knew a hundred times over with absolutely no results. Eventually, she'd decided it was a complete waste of time and energy that would be better spent finding out more about her situation.

On an intellectual level, the curse was truly intriguing; being in the hospital felt as real as being in her castle. Its composition was so detailed and complete that smells, sounds, textures, and taste were exactly the same in both worlds. It also left her with the disorienting sense of never sleeping, yet she couldn't really claim to be tired either. Mentally drained from being constantly alert, yes, but her body felt well rested and her mind remained sharp.

As perverse as it sounded, even to her, she was actually beginning to enjoy her time spent in Rosewood. The characters had depth and personality that normal dreams lacked and what seemed to enthrall her most was the hint of mystery surrounding her role. Sometimes, she felt as if she were trapped in a detective novel, piecing together her fictional past and trying to figure out how that played into her current situation.

Then there was Cameron. The young doctor and Emma were not one and the same. Regina knew that, but they were so alike in so many ways that it was only natural that she'd feel some amount of attraction to the brown-haired version of her girlfriend, right?

Since their return to Fairytale Land, she and Emma had mellowed out as a couple. Not that it was a bad thing or that they didn't still quarrel on occasion, but those disagreements were nothing like the epic arguments they used to have that got her adrenaline pumping, her blood boiling, and, frankly, turned her on.

While this ability to actually talk to each other like rational adults was great for their relationship, Regina had to reluctantly admit that, on occasion, she missed the verbal sparring matches she and Emma used to get into. Emma challenged her sarcasm and snark skills in a way that no one but Rumple had been able to achieve in years. With Cameron, she got all the thrill without any of the consequences. It didn't matter if she hurt the doctor's feelings because she wasn't real, just an extraordinary facsimile.

_There's more to it, though; something about Cameron, that I just… cannot place. _

"You missed lunch," a soft voice called out, snapping the brunette from her thoughts before she had a chance to fully explore them.

"Excuse me?" she asked, not immediately registering the words.

"Right, lunch. My apologies, dear; I got so caught up in all this damned paperwork that time simply slipped by me."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Emma asked, leaning casually against the open door frame.

"Talk about what?" the brunette responded with forced calmness.

Surely, she wasn't that transparent.

Emma sighed in clear frustration, "Don't bullshit me, Regina; I know you too well."

"Emma…" the brunette started in a placating tone, hoping to end the conversation before it even began.

"No, Regina," the younger woman stubbornly countered as she steadily made her way across the room until she was standing beside the seated brunette. "You've been agitated and restless for weeks and you wake up screaming from nightmares on a regular basis. Then, this morning at breakfast; you're never forgetful, especially when it comes to royal business."

Looking down on her with pleading green eyes and tenderly running her dexterous fingers through long, raven hair, Emma continued, "I'm just worried, 'Gina. There's obviously something going on with you and I can't help if you don't talk to me."

Regina sighed into the soothing touch, her earlier worries fading away under the blonde's reassuring caress. Emma knew her every weakness and just how to play them against her; for the most loving reasons, of course.

"You don't play fair, my dear," she lightly complained, but it's mostly for show.

"I love you," Emma responded with a small shrug of her shoulders. "If that means I have to use every trick I know to get you to open up, I will."

Regina had been debating this very issue since she realized she was not experiencing normal dreams. The conclusion she reached then was the same one she came to now. Until she had something beyond half-formed theories that would only frighten the younger woman more, she would keep her problem to herself. She was unwilling to flat-out lie, however, so she settled for some minor hedging with half-truths.

"I have had nightmares, along with some very bizarre dreams," she admitted, drawing the blonde's hands from her hair and gently folding them between her own, "but they're more of a nuisance than anything and, as far as I can tell, they've caused no lasting effect on me."

Emma still looked unconvinced as she studied the brunette for any hint of deception. When the blonde started to speak, but stopped herself short of actually saying anything, Regina softly squeezed the hands still held firmly in hers, encouraging the younger woman to say what she was so clearly hesitant to.

"I know it was rough when we first got back," Emma began tentatively. "There were all these painful memories you had to face on top of all the chaos surrounding our return. Are… are the nightmares the same as before… about Dan…"

"No," Regina cut her off gently, but without a trace of uncertainty as she stood up so Emma could see the truth shining in her eyes. "These have absolutely nothing to do with that."

Images of her painful past at the hands of her mother had haunted Regina for years, with the loss of her first love, Daniel, being only one amongst several. While it had been her breaking point in many ways, sending her on a rampage of revenge, it had also been the easiest of them all to deal with once Emma had taken up residence in her heart.

The younger woman had patiently loved her through all those rough nights, no questions asked and no resentment held when Regina refused to explain. Eventually, she'd told the blonde about Daniel and her mother's cruelty surrounding the event, but nothing more than that. The others were still too painful to do anything with other than bury them in the deep, dark places of her mind and never speak of them again.

Apparently, releasing even that small hurt had been enough to end the majority of her horrific nightmares, and, though the emotional scars still lingered, the brunette had finally been able to move forward with her life.

Regina never wanted Emma to doubt that _she, _and no one else, was her one true love. Without her patience and understanding, she would have missed out on the best thing, next to Henry, that had ever happened to her and, quite honestly, she probably would have been dead a dozen times over. Even when they hated each other, Emma was always rescuing her, her very own White Knight.

"I adore you, you know," she intoned sincerely, "and I am truly grateful you care so much, but they really aren't anything I can't handle as long as I get to wake up in your arms every time."

"I promise," she continued quickly when Emma looked to protest, "if they don't end soon, you will be the first one I come to."

Green eyes searched her own for a moment before Emma sighed in acquiescence.

"I'm not going to force, 'Gina. Just remember, I'm here if you need anything."

"That, I have never doubted, my love," she said, leaning in for a reassuring kiss that soon grew in intensity.

Even after several years together, just the smallest taste of sweet lips against her own was enough to set her soul on fire.

"So…" Regina began as she wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist, looking up at the younger woman from beneath lowered lashes and sporting her most devilish grin.

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the evening? I'd hate to keep you from something important."

"I may be able to reschedule," Emma replied with a mischievous twinkle in her emerald eyes. "Depends on what you had in mind, though."

Apparently, she'd had enough maudlin conversation for the day as well.

"Well…," Regina drawled playfully, "I have been on my best behavior lately; the perfect embodiment of a kind and patient ruler, some would say. Haven't threatened anyone in _weeks, _as a matter of fact."

"Being good's a bitch, huh?" Emma teased.

"Oh, dear, you have no idea," the brunette purred, felling a definite shiver run through the woman in her arms.

"Had I been able to play things the way I used to, those tedious meetings with the dwarves would have been over days ago and I would have had all that extra time to focus on you."

"Well, there is now and Henry should be gone for a few more hours at least," Emma remarked suggestively.

"That's the best offer I've heard all week."

Tightening her hold on the younger woman, Regina twirled them around disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke and reappearing next to their bed.

"That gets me every time," Emma said, clearly fighting the momentary vertigo she always suffered with that spell.

"And you, my love, 'get' me every time you wear these pants," Regina whispered against the blonde's ear as her hands wandered over the supple leather that encased strong calves, powerful thighs, and a firm ass.

"Regina," Emma said and the brunette could practically hear green eyes rolling in response, "I have ten other pairs just like this; you see me in them everyday."

"Which only goes to show you how especially remarkable my self-restraint really is," she said, laying a trail of kisses along the blonde's jaw before catching deliciously soft lips in a searing kiss.

Emma's warm hands cradled her face while she pulled the younger woman's shirt from the confines of her pants. Slipping under the material to graze taut abs that twitched at her delicate touch, blunt nails lightly scratched their way up and down the blonde's sides, barely brushing the generous swell of a pert breast before retreating languorously down her strong back to dip beneath dark leather.

Over and over, her hands travelled their maddening path as tongues danced and soft whimpers filled the silence. There was no rush or sense of urgency in their caresses as both women took their time conveying all their love and desire for one another.

"Gods woman, why do you wear such impossible clothing?" Emma groused in between kisses as she worked the stays from the brunette's tight corset.

"You know… all of our clothing could be gone with just a flick of my wrist, but I do take such great pleasure in peeling yours off myself. For all your complaining, I know you feel the same about mine," Regina said, drawing a moan from the younger woman as she took her bottom lip in between even, white teeth before soothing it with her tongue.

Cool air prickled her bare flesh as Emma tossed aside the discarded item of clothing before ripping her own shirt over her head. Both women groaned as naked skin came into contact, stoking flames of desire that burned in the pit of her stomach and further fueling her need for the blonde.

While her fingers loosened the ties holding Emma's pants tight to her hips, the younger woman deftly freed her from the rest of her outfit. Stepping out of the flowing skirt, now pooled around her ankles, in nothing but her knee-high stiletto boots and lace boy-shorts, Regina pushed the awestruck Emma onto the bed behind her.

A seductive smirk spread across her mouth as she strutted over to the blonde sprawled out on the mattress. Resting on her elbows, Emma's green eyes, nearly black with arousal, watched her every move as she slowly stripped the leather pants from long, pale legs before throwing them negligently over her shoulder and crawling her way up the svelte, nude body.

Regina's breath hitched as she settled against the younger woman, wetness coating her leg as their legs naturally entwined. Staring deeply into familiar green eyes full of love and lust, she rocked lightly into the blonde who groaned as Regina's thigh put more pressure on her center.

Drawn to the fluttering pulse in the younger woman's neck, the brunette bit and sucked the spot as one hand pressed against the blonde's arched back, locking their hips together, while the other pinched and kneaded at a full breast. Not wanting the other one to feel neglected, Regina slowly licked her way down Emma's chest, leaving little nips and featherlike kisses in her wake.

Strong fingers twined in her raven hair, holding her in place as she flicked and twirled her tongue around the hardening bud mirroring the movements with her fingers on the other side. Incoherent whimpers turned to muted cries as the brunette continued to lavish attention on her partner until the blonde's hips began to rock faster against her, desperately seeking firmer contact.

"What do you need, my love?" she purred into Emma's ear, tracing the shell of it with the tip of her tongue.

"Oh.. gods, Regina. Please…"

"Please, what?" she asked already knowing the answer as her hand slid down the lithe body.

"In-inside… I need you inside me. Please Regina… fuck me."

With those words, she swiftly entered the warm, wet confines of the blonde with two fingers. Emma cried out at the sudden intrusion as Regina let out her own gasp in at the intimate contact.

Settling into a steady rhythm, Regina stroked the inside of her lover making sure to hit all the spots she'd found over the years that would drive the younger woman to greater heights of ecstasy. Softening her touch when the telltale tightening around her fingers indicated her girlfriend's rapidly approaching climax, she brought Emma to the brink again and again, sending the blonde higher each time until the younger woman was practically thrashing beneath her.

Curling her fingers just right while brushing her thumb rapidly over the blonde's clit, Regina watched Emma's body bow off the bed as the younger woman screamed her name into the silence. Gentling her caresses to prolong Emma's orgasm, she waited until the blonde slumped boneless to the bed before easing her fingers out gently.

Settling on top of her lover, whose breathing was slowly returning to normal, Regina laid soft kisses all over the younger woman's face as she reverently carded her fingers through golden locks.

"You… are going to be the death of me," Emma rasped, her eyes still closed.

"Oh no, dear. I plan to keep you around for a _very _long time, if only so we can do that again… and again… and again," she said, punctuating each one with a kiss.

"Really now?" Emma asked with a raised eyebrow, green eyes glinting in the flickering candle light. "Any particular timeline on this?"

"Well… seeing as I already have you right where I want you," R playfully growled with a quick nip to the blonde's chin.

"Oh no," Emma stated as she easily reversed their positions. "You've had your fun. Now… it's my turn."

Emma swooped in for a deep, forceful kiss full of want and passion before nibbling her way to Regina's chest and taking a hard nipple in her mouth while her long fingers played the other.

"Don't tease, love," Regina practically begged, her body still humming in unquenched arousal.

Pulling at the firm bud one final time with sharp teeth, Emma licked an abstract path across the brunette's torso, dipping into her navel briefly and causing Regina to squirm at the ticklish touch, before continuing down.

Swiftly ridding the brunette of her now ruined underwear, Emma nudged her legs further apart as she settled between them, her warm breath ghosting across Regina's drenched center and stirring the small thatch of curls with every exhale.

Brown eyes clenched shut and her head snapped back at the first touch of the blonde's skillful tongue against her wet heat. Strong hand gripped her rocking hips, stilling them as languid strokes fueled the fire blazing across her body.

Incoherent moans tore themselves from her dry throat as she gripped flaxen curls tightly in both hands, pulling the younger woman tighter against her trying to communicate her need for more. She cried out when two fingers sank firmly into center as the blonde concentrated her oral assault on the bundle of nerves at her apex. A third finger soon followed as Emma increased the power of her thrusts causing a tingling to begin at the tips of her toes and work its way up to the top of her head.

"Oh gods!" she cried, or at least that's what she meant to say, as Emma curled her fingers hitting that one specific spot inside her while sucking forcefully on her clit.

Stars danced behind her closed eyes as she screamed her release. Darkness clouded the edges of her mind for a brief second before she slumped back down onto the firm mattress, her breathing nothing more than shallow gasps while her heart pounded inside her chest.

"_Regina?"_ her lover's voice called out, yet she lacked the energy to answer.

"_Regina, come back to me, sweetheart,"_ this time the sound came from above and the brunette could hear the concern permeating the blonde's tone.

Without bothering to open her eyes, Regina reached out and pulled the younger woman into a searing kiss. The warm body against hers tensed in surprise; obviously, Emma thought she'd passed out… again. The hesitation was brief, however, and the blonde soon melted into the kiss with a soft whimper.

When air became a necessity, Regina pulled back slightly, purring, "Gods, you're amazing," against the younger woman's lips.

"I… I-uh…" her flummoxed girlfriend stuttered out, before Regina dipped back in for a tender, loving kiss that didn't land.

A cool breeze washed over her at the sudden loss of body heat and a door slammed, snapping her from her pleasant haze as she sat up quickly. Blinking in sheer confusion, Regina dazedly took in her surroundings.

Bright afternoon sunlight highlighted the familiar industrial grey walls of the tiny room that was clearly not the one she shared with Emma.

_The hospital, _she groaned burying her face in her hands briefly before jerking back as realization struck.

"Shit… Cameron."

* * *

**A/N: **Ok, that was my first time writing anything with such graphic detail. PLEASE, let me know if it was absolutely terrible. I'm not fishing for compliments, but I honestly need to know so that I can improve. So, there is a poll at hypable . com where you can vote for Emma's potential love interest. Regina is not listed, of course, but you can choose 'other' and vote for her. I swear, last I checked, 'other' was at 58% and they were all for Regina. Non-swanqueen shippers are voting for her. While it may never happen, this is our chance to be seriously heard so go vote! Now for what i really wanted to discuss. As I mentioned in my last chapter, I am on twitter (JadziaDax86). And i'm obsessed. I'm trying to drum up more followers on there and on my stories. So, I have decided to put forth some incentive. If I get 60 twitter followers (I'm at 30 now), OR 80 'Caught in the Grey' story followers here on fanfiction, I will post the first chapter of another story i'm working on (On a separate site not linked with this one). IF, i get 80 twitter followers, OR 100 legitimate reviews or comments between fanfiction and livejournal (We're at 60 now), then I'll post the first chapter of a second story I'm working on. Legitimate reviews mean say something more then 'hey' or 'awesome'. Though i love hearing those too, give me something to work with! Twitter followers will be notified way in advance, while everyone else will have to wait until i post the next chapter of 'Grey'. Both of these other fics are slightly AU in their own way, both are going to be epic, and I think you'll like what I have planned for them. If we get to both, I will even let you guys vote on which one I write first. You guys are so amazing and I love your responses so much that I want to give something back while being able to connect better with you at the same time. If nothing else, at least now you guys know i'm not planning to go anywhere any time soon. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

Individual, flickering candles sat atop each table, accentuating the matte ochre walls that glowed warmly in the soft, mellow lighting of the small Italian restaurant located in downtown Chicago. Even the quiet chatter of dining patrons could not detract from the air of intimacy that infused the place and yet, all Allison Cameron could think was how she wished she were anywhere else.

Her companion for the evening, a 34-year-old investment banker from Nebraska, was as dull as he sounded. He was handsome enough, she supposed, tall with sandy-blond hair and sparkling blue eyes, and he seemed relatively intelligent. Still, it just wasn't happening for her.

Maybe it was his terrible sense of humor or the way he only talked about himself; his love of golf, all the material possessions he bought with his considerable wealth, and his vast professional accomplishments at the firm where he was currently fast-tracking to partner. After they'd finished the initial introductions and pleasantries, she'd realized rather quickly that he had absolutely no interest in her life whatsoever. The only reason she'd stuck around this long was the free food and wine, both of which were absolutely delicious, thankfully, otherwise this all would have been a complete waste of time.

When he made yet another terrible doctor joke, however, she cursed the fact that everyone and their mother thought that simply because she was bi they could set her up with just anyone and she'd be happy. Clearly, they did not realize she had standards and this guy, with his inane chatter and insipid jokes, was way below par.

_I swear, the next time someone comes up to me and says, 'Hey, Cam, I have someone I think you should meet,' I'm just gonna walk away… or punch them in the face._

If she were being honest with herself, which she was trying very hard _not _to be, had Tammy not caught her just minutes after the kiss she'd shared with Regina Mills, she might have had it together enough to decline. As it was, all she'd been able to do was stammer out an 'O-okay' over her shoulder as she fled the ward.

She should have just sent a nurse when the older woman hadn't shown for her scheduled appointment. Whatever possessed her to do it herself, she'd never know, but when she'd reached the brunette's room and found her fast asleep, she'd had every intention of just walking away. That was until she heard Regina whimper and begin to thrash about on the bed from an apparent nightmare and she thought it best to wake the distressed woman.

_Boy was I way off, _she thought taking a fortifying sip of her cool, white wine, as her heart flipped once again at the memory of soft lips and a warm tongue against her own.

That moment simultaneously filled her with dread and wonder every time she'd relived it in exacting detail over the past three days. Complete shock had skittered across her body, rendering her immobile, when their lips met for the first time. Her easy submission into something she knew was so wrong, but she just couldn't pull away from, still frightened her. She was Ms. Mills' doctor and she adamantly refused to be one of those creeps that took advantage of a patient. So, she ignored the fact that her heart had clenched in pain when she realized that Regina thought she was someone else and, instead, set about finding a diversion.

She'd arranged this date that very night, hoping it would provide the distraction necessary from her churning thoughts and confused emotions. Not so much. Instead of being engaged in a pleasant discussion about mutual interests or hilarious stories from their past, she was left fading in and out of a conversation that didn't require her participation at all, giving her plenty of free time to focus on all the things she was trying to stuff to the back of her mind and forget.

Releasing a sigh relief when her date declined dessert for both of them, without asking her first the jerk, she impatiently waited for him to sign the check so she could finally go home already.

"Thank you, John, I had a lovely evening," she said, as they made their way out into the cold October evening.

Glaring at her in clear condescension, he bit out, "It's 'Jack,' actually," before turning on his heels and walking away.

"Meh, close enough," she muttered to his retreating back with an apathetic shrug of her shoulders.

She'd been lying anyways; the man was a complete dud.

_There's two hours of my life I won't get back, _she thought before hailing a taxi and heading home.

The next day, after a mid-morning run and a quick shower, she sat herself at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and absentmindedly eating lunch as she studied the pages spread out before her. Regina's files lay scattered over the wooden surface as she searched through them, yet again, trying to figure out her next move in helping her patient.

Cameron had never before encountered a case where the person was so entrenched in her beliefs. Even in the case studies she'd read about situations similar to this, it was rare. Typically, with medication and intense therapy, a patient would start to break out of the fantasy within a week or two. Regina was heading into her fourth week and was still as adamant about the validity of her other life as she was when she'd first arrived.

A large part of the problem was the doctor's lack of information on Regina and the brunette was not very forth coming with details. At this point, Cameron wasn't sure if the older woman still didn't remember her life before being admitted to Rosewood or if she was just refusing to share. She hoped it was the latter because while she'd eventually be able to get Regina to open up, it'd be nearly impossible to get the older woman to regain lost memories.

_I need to find someone who knows her,_ the fair-haired brunette thought as she looked over what little info she actually had.

_There's no family in the area, but there must be someone in her life that can help me. Maybe her landlord… Oh! A neighbor. _

Jotting down the address before she could second-guess herself, Cameron tossed her dirty dishes in the sink, slipped on some shoes, grabbed her bag and keys, and was out the door in a matter of minutes.

Braving Chicago traffic on a Sunday afternoon was not a particularly smart move, especially when one had to deal with the Magnificent Mile; nevertheless, Cameron arrived unharmed, though fairly irritated by the moronic drives she'd encountered on her way.

Regina's apartment building, while not gigantic, was still a respectable twenty stories tall with the entire east side being afforded a spectacular view of Lake Michigan that sat less than two hundred yards away.

Unwilling to even contemplate what such an upscale place would cost a month, Cameron nodded her thanks to the doorman and entered into the lavishly decorated lobby.

Gold-veined white marble reflected the yellow lighting that emanated from the large chandelier hanging in the center of the room with a dozen leather chairs paired up and scattered around the edges. Each set had a round, glass table situated between them with various business newspapers and magazines lying on top, while rows of inlaid mailboxes sat behind a long desk manned by an attendant.

Spotting no elevators or any obvious way to call up to the apartments, Cameron made her way over to the desk quite sure that she'd be kicked out before she had a chance to speak. The disinterested and slightly disgusted look the man currently behind the desk was throwing her did nothing to dissuade her of this notion either. Then again, maybe ripped jeans and a hoodie weren't exactly up to par with a place this opulent.

Pushing aside all nervousness and insecurity, Cameron shot the balding man the most pleasant smile she could muster, unsurprised when he did not return it.

"May I help you, Miss?" his arrogant, nasal voice asked, grating on her nerves.

The guy was a glorified hotel clerk, for cripes sake, with an off the rack suit to match, while she was a highly sought after doctor with more skill in her little pinky than he and his whole family probably had combined. Assuming her best egotistical doctor persona, she had learned from the best after all, she responded in the same indifferent and aloof manner.

"_Doctor _Allison Cameron," she emphasized her profession for effect as she pulled out her old Mercy General ID, reluctant to further inflame any gossip about Regina by using her Rosewood employee badge.

Placing it on the counter in between them, she slid it across the varnished surface as she continued, "My patient is Ms. Regina Mills from 19B. She was admitted a few weeks ago and before I can go any farther with her treatment, I need to consult with someone close to her. Seeing as she has no immediate family in town, I was hoping that one of her neighbors might have the contact information for distant relatives or even friends that could help me."

"Is anyone expecting you, Doctor?" his voice was still cold but not quite as disrespectful as before.

"Not at this time," she answered frankly. "I had no idea who to contact and was hoping you'd be able to help me."

"Well, I'm sorry, Doctor, but I cannot simply allow you to wander the building, knocking on doors and disturbing the residents."

And the snooty tone was back. This guy was impossible.

"Of course, Brian," she said with forced patience, checking his shiny gold name tag, "I understand and, honestly, that was not my intention. I'm merely asking that you pick up that little phone there and see if the good people living on the same floor as Ms. Mills would mind answering a few of my questions."

"There's only one other apartment on Ms. Mills' floor and Mrs. Stevenson does not take kindly to unexpected interruptions," he let out a suffering sigh, "but seeing as it's for Ms. Mills, I will try."

"Thank you," Cameron replied sincerely and with a fair amount of relief.

Green eyes absently perused the art hanging on mahogany walls as she waited for Brian to explain everything over the phone. The paintings were clearly originals and signed by the artists. Spotting one across from her that looked similar to some of the prints hanging in her office and at home, she wandered over and sure enough, 'Erin Mariam Gellis' was the artist. She had to admit the small collection of various well-known artists was vaguely impressive, especially since Erin's work rarely made it this far east.

"Doctor Cameron?" she turned back to Brian whose lips were pursed in displeasure, probably from receiving an ear full from Mrs. Stevenson at her unannounced visit.

Already kicking herself for not planning this little trip a bit more thoroughly before schlepping all the way out here, she was surprised when the ornery man spoke, "Mrs. Stevenson said she'd be more than happy to help you with anything you need. Just take the southern elevator here around the corner to my left; I'll unlock it so you can access the penthouse suites."

"Thank you for your help, Brian," she said before making her way to the proper elevator.

Letting out a low whistle as she step into the wide hallway lined with plush carpet, Cameron made her way down the corridor dotted with elaborate sconces. 19A was on her left and just a little further down the hall she could see the only other door for 19B on the right.

Knocking lightly on the heavy wood, she only had to wait of few seconds before an elderly woman in her mid to late 70s opened the door. The woman stood several inches shorter than her own 5'5", but her posture was perfectly straight, not having rounded with age, and her blue eyes were as sharp as ever. Her long, silver hair was wrapped in a neat bun at the back of her head and she was dressed in what Cameron assumed to be a designer, powder blue skirt suit reminiscent of Jackie Kennedy.

"Dr. Cameron," the older woman rasped out, years of smoking clearly leaving their mark, "it's a pleasure to meet you, dear. Come in, come in."

Her smile was warm and reflected in her pale eyes, instantly setting the younger woman at ease.

"Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me, Mrs. Stevenson. I really appreciate it," the fair-haired brunette expressed earnestly, remaining on her best manners as she entered the apartment.

"Oh please, Doctor, call me Audrey," the older woman said as she lead them out of the foyer and towards the living room.

"Only if you call me Cameron," she replied easily.

Why Brian acted as if this woman were the Wicked Witch of the West, Cameron had no idea.

An immaculate kitchen finished in warm earth tones sat to her left cordoned off from the rest of the home by a granite-topped half wall with three barstools set underneath it. Several doors lined the corridor to her right while the living room itself was easily the size of her entire apartment with vaulted ceilings and large, picture windows that opened onto a wide balcony. The autumn afternoon sun filtered through the Chicago skyline painting metal and glass in fiery oranges and cool pinks. She could easily get used to a view like that.

"Do have a seat, dear. Would you like any tea?"

"Yes, please," Cameron replied as she settled into a nearby armchair while Audrey sat on the couch next to her and poured the still steaming liquid from a hand-painted porcelain teapot into matching cups, complete with saucers.

"I'm not sure how I can help exactly," the older woman began after handing the doctor her drink, "but feel free to ask me anything and I'll answer as best I can. Edgar, my husband, and I just want to see Regina get better as quick as possible."

Swallowing her sip hastily, Cameron asked hopefully, "So you know Ms. Mills well then?"

"Oh my, yes. We've known Regina since she was just a little girl. Her parents, like my husband and I, invested in this property from the very beginning and we've lived here ever since; nearly thirty years now if you can believe that."

"Seems as if you're just the person I need to speak with then. I'm sure you've heard of doctor/patient confidentiality," Audrey nodded. "Before we continue, I need to know how much of Ms. Mills' current situation you're aware of. I'd hate to break any kind of trust here."

"The poor dear," Audrey said with a small shake of her head, her cup of tea all but forgotten as she continued.

"My Edgar and I were the ones that found her. She's always taken such good care of us, helping us whenever we needed without asking anything in return, so, when she returned, we made it a point to invite her over as often as possible. It took several months to coax her from her apartment, but now she never misses our weekly dinners. As you can imagine, we became very concerned when she didn't show a few weeks ago and went to check on her. Luckily, she'd given us a spare key to use for emergencies. We barely reached her in time as is."

Cameron could tell Audrey cared deeply for Regina just by the way she spoke of the other woman and the moisture noticeably gathering in her light, blue eyes.

The older woman cleared her throat gently before resuming, "we knew Regina was continuing to have a hard time dealing with the loss of Emma and young Henry…"

"Wait," Cameron interrupted in disbelief, startling the older woman in the process. "I apologize, that was completely rude, but you knew Emma and Henry?"

Here she'd thought this whole time that they were just figments of the brunette's imagination.

"We never met Emma or Henry, Emma got motion sick flying and the drive was just too far, but every time Regina came to visit she had new pictures that she'd proudly show off to anyone and everyone who'd stop to look. You know…" Audrey observed her closely for a second, "you actually remind me a great deal of Emma. The hair is different and your features are a bit sharper, but you two could definitely pass for sisters. It's something in your eyes."

Cameron nodded but didn't want to sidetrack the older woman by detailing her first encounter with a conscious Regina. Nor did she want to examine too closely how her appearance might be influencing the brunette's feelings for her. Feelings that didn't matter, because she wasn't going to do anything about them anyways, she firmly reminded herself before focusing her attention back on Audrey.

"Anyways, after Cora's untimely passing twelve years ago, Regina moved to California and that's where she stayed until just under a year ago. It was tough on her father, Henry Senior, at first, but he understood and she still came to see him often. Regina was always so animated and vibrant when she'd visit and tell us all about them. Henry was a toddler when they met and Regina's eyes glowed so bright every time she spoke about all the mischief that little boy got into. Oh, and the way she talked about Emma; you'd have thought that woman perfection incarnate. I think she loved the them both from the first moment she laid eyes on them. It's easy to see that she is completely broken without them now."

Finishing her tea before setting the cup and saucer gently aside so as not to chip them, Cameron asked, "That all happened out in California then?"

"Yes. I don't know all the details, I never had the heart to ask, but Regina was fairly well known in the art community, so I'm certain you'll be able to find articles on it."

"You have been very helpful, Audrey; I cannot even begin to tell you," the younger woman stated rising from the chair. "Is it possible to ask one more favor before I go?"

"Of course, dear. As I said before, anything for Regina, and since you took the time to come here and ask about her, you must genuinely care for her as well."

"I am doing everything in my power to help her," Cameron hedged. "I was hoping I could use your spare key to grab some clothes for Ms. Mills from her apartment. She's had to wear some of our extras and she practically swims in them they're so large on her. I think she'd be a little happier in things from her own closet."

"Absolutely. Let me just fetch that for you real quick," Audrey said as she moved to her purse resting on the kitchen counter, before returning shortly and handing Cameron the requested key.

"Here you are. As picky as Regina is about her clothing, I'm surprised she hasn't called us up and demanded we have someone deliver her entire wardrobe to her yet," Audrey chuckled in her raspy voice.

Cameron didn't have the heart to break it to the older woman just why Regina hadn't contacted them.

"Now you go grab what you need and just slip the key back under the door when you're finished. It was such a pleasure to meet you, Cameron, and I expect you to come back and visit again soon."

She could tell the older woman was completely serious and she looked forward to taking her up on that offer.

"I will, Audrey. Thanks again," she called over her shoulder as she made her way down the hallway.

Slipping the key into the lock, Cameron entered the apartment and made her way through a foyer similar to Audrey's before stopping dead at the edge of the living room.

It wasn't the spectacular view of Lake Michigan sparkling beneath the city lights that caught her attention, however.

While she'd hoped to find some clue to Regina's behavior in her apartment, she'd never expected something like this. Green eyes widened in sheer astonishment as she took in the hundreds of drawings littering every square inch of available space. Stacks of charcoal sketches lay in haphazard piles on the floor, couch, coffee table, and any other flat surface while individual sheets and several large, painted canvases covered the walls and windows in a massively elaborate collage.

Snapping her jaw shut with an audible click, Cameron waded into the large space careful not to tread on any of those scattered across the carpet. Spinning in a slow circle, hundreds of faces stared back at her, their detail and lifelike quality truly astounding.

_Holy hell… Regina wasn't kidding when she said she was an artist._

Jumping from picture to picture, she searched the sea of unknown people for one particular and intimately familiar face, but never found her own likeness staring back at her. A few, however, noticeably stood out amongst the chaos of men and women of various heights, weights, and ages.

There was a thin brunette with a heart-shaped face that had long, curly hair and a flowing dress in one drawing, while in another, she was shown with a short pixie cut and a button-up sweater over slacks. Then there was a tall man with kind eyes in a decoratively beaded jacket and a sword hanging at his side, but he was also shown in jeans and a plaid shirt. One drawing had a lady in a bustier and a crazy looking skirt with wings, next to that were a half dozen or so men with weird hats and pick axes, then there was one of a cricket in a top hat and suit jacket.

Suddenly, Regina's 'Evil Queen' comment from their first interaction made sense; the brunette literally thought she was living in some kind of fairy tale. The closer Cameron looked, the more she realized that everyone was shown at least twice; once in normal clothing, and again in some strange, nearly medieval fashion, solidifying her theory.

Well… every person, that is, except two.

The wall to her right was filled with pictures of a young boy from around two up until his early teens, she guessed, and a woman with long, curly blonde hair. Every aspect of the boy's face was shown; his rounded cheeks that subtly shrank has he grew older, the unruly mop of brown hair that covered his light green eyes, and the slightly gap-toothed grin that he flashed when smiling.

The strokes across paper and canvas were so finely detailed that Cameron could practically see this young boy as he played in the sand box or hear his squeals of laughter as he was tossed in the air by the blonde. What she never saw, however, was the other woman's face. Even though she was in just as many pictures as the boy, she was always looking away from the artist's perspective, which Cameron found peculiar.

_These must be Emma and Henry, _she thought. _I wonder why there aren't any of them shown in strange clothing as well. _

Gently detaching a couple of drawings from the wall, Cameron turned towards the bedroom, figuring she might as well grab Regina some clothes since she was already there, and bumped into a previously unnoticed side table. A mound of precariously perched papers fluttered to the floor. She planned on leaving them there, since she couldn't see a difference between them and the ones already residing on the floor, but a strange darkness caught her eye.

Crouching down for a closer look, she shifted away the papers covering it, revealing a woman in a tiara and sweeping dress with matching elbow-length gloves. The darkness that had drawn Cameron's attention was the black ink that scribbled out the other woman's face. Scanning the ground, the doctor brushed aside more drawings until she found a second just like the first, then a third, and a fourth. The black lines were heavy and thick as if the person doing it had channeled all their anger into the marks.

Adding one of them to the other two that she planned to take with her, Cameron stood up and made her way down the hall and into Regina's bedroom to finally pack the bag she used as an excuse to snoop around. Once finished, she locked up behind her and slid the key back under Audrey's door before throwing the duffle bag in her trunk and making her way home.

Tossing her keys and wallet onto the counter, Cameron realized it was too late for coffee so she set the kettle to boil for hot chocolate instead before heading over to her couch and booting up her laptop. Typing 'Regina Mills California' into the search engine only got her contact information on about a hundred or so women, including an attorney and a real estate agent.

Blowing out a frustrated breath and running her hands through her disheveled curls, she changed it to 'Emma Swan', narrowing it down to three women. Skimming the results, about half way down the page she came across a link to an article titled, 'Local Artist Loses Wife and Son in Tragic Accident'.

Cameron's heart clenched in sympathy as she read over the horrific details; it was no wonder Regina had created another world in which Emma and Henry were both alive and well. Printing off the article, Cameron watched as the pages were slowly revealed. Snatching one as it came out, green eyes finally got their first look at the mysterious Emma.

_Shit. Forget sisters, we could have been twins._

* * *

**A/N: **Yay! I posted a day early. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to but I'm glad I did, otherwise it would have been a day late and I just couldn't do that to you guys. I know you'd have forgiven me when I explained I'm spending my usual writing day out kayaking with a cute chick at her dad's lake house, but I still wouldn't feel right about it ;) Anyways... so, I'm up to 38 twitter followers (JadziaDax86), this story is at 53 follows, and there are about 70 reviews now. Those numbers are climbing and I have every hope that they'll get up there so I can let you guys pick the next story I write. They both have a ton of potential and I'm super excited about them. Thank you all for your lovely feedback with the last chapter. You guys really seemed to respond to the ending there. LOL. It was great. I love to keep you all guessing and I want to hear what you think. Oh, and fellow tweeps, check my timeline after reading this for a little visual extra I cooked up for you guys especially. Much love to all of my faithful readers! _  
_


	10. Chapter 10

Sock-clad feet sat propped on the edge of the wide ledge as Regina Mills stared inattentively through the wire-meshed window, her ever-present notebook resting open in her lap while she idly twirled a pencil in her right hand.

Early afternoon sunlight dappled the verdant hospital grounds as it filtered through the vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows of the autumn leaves that swayed in the gentle breeze. A profusion of colorful flowerbeds dotted the grassy area that was often used by patients and staff alike. Even now with winter edging ever closer, there were more than a few individuals seated on benches or taking a leisurely stroll along the paved paths.

While Regina had yet to avail herself of the little park, her focus always on more important things, the desire to explore it had been growing since her… encounter with Cameron.

She'd taken to antagonizing the nurses as a distraction, but that had quickly lost its appeal with the threat of restraints. Every nook and cranny that had already been carefully examined was searched again just for the hell of it and speaking with the other residents had proven to be nothing more than a frustrating waste of time and energy.

After that thoroughly eventful day, Regina had run out of ways to divert her attention from the chaotic swirl of conflicting thoughts and emotions churning inside her and wandering the lush garden would have been preferable to the hours of restless pacing she'd indulged in instead.

Each time the memory of delicate lips issuing that soft whimper of surrender invaded her senses, it sent her mind reeling and released a kaleidoscope of fluttering butterflies in her belly. The fact that, at the time, she'd thought Cameron was actually Emma did little to pacify her conscience, especially since her heart still insisted on tripping over itself whenever she thought of the young doctor.

Guilt immediately followed these thoughts only to turn into simmering anger that she no way to release. The rational part of her mind, that constantly reminded her that this was all fake, was unable to counter the irrational sense of hurt and betrayal at Cameron's continued evasion and Regina felt the doctor owed her an apology for behaving like such a child.

Despite her best efforts, Regina was aware that her ire had boiled over into her waking world where Emma and quite a bit of her court had borne the brunt of her ill temper. Fortunately, Henry had been completely oblivious to the building tension between his mothers over the last few days and had left earlier that morning to spend some time with his grandparents.

While Regina knew she would miss his cheering presence around the castle, she'd taken hold of the opportunity presented and pushed aside all her meetings for the next several days in order to spend the extra alone time with Emma as an apology. They'd already started, in fact, skipping supper in the formal dining room and opting to spend the evening feeding each other in bed instead before falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

A smug grin pulled at one corner of her full lips at what an excellent distraction _that _had turned out to be for both her and the blonde.

"Regina," a voice called from the entrance of the cafeteria, breaking the brunette from her thoughts.

Regina turned to lay into whoever had dared interrupt her, most knew to leave her be by this point, but her brown eyes immediately softened when they landed on the plump form of an older lady clad in white scrubs.

Jeanie was the sole person that she'd met so far in this nightmare that she truly liked. The nurse was the only one on the ward who could stand their ground against even her most piercing glares plus, Regina was pretty sure the other woman was well aware of the fact that she hadn't taken any of her meds since that first night, but had yet to say anything about it.

A dark eyebrow rose in question as Jeanie waved her over. Caramel eyes rolled at her stubbornness and the older woman huffed in irritation that Regina knew was just for show.

Somehow, this strange bond had formed between them and Regina had no problems conceding to the other woman's requests most of the time; didn't mean she always made it easy, though.

"Come now, child," the nurse said in her slight Southern lilt, "don't make me walk all the way over there and drag you out by your ear. We ain't goin' far and I think you'll be happy with what I wanna show you."

"It wouldn't happen to be my discharge papers by any chance, would it?" Regina asked drolly as she rose from her seat and placed it back under the table before following the older woman out into the hall.

"Oh ha-ha, smart ass. Would you just hush? You'll find out soon enough."

"I'm getting a roommate?" the brunette asked when the duo entered her room, eyeing the black duffle bag resting on one of the beds with clear suspicion.

"Heaven help the person that ever has to room with you," Jeanie chuckled. "No, the nurses in reception said someone dropped that off for you last night. They had to go through it for any prohibited items first, of course, but it checked out and now it's all yours."

Regina tossed her journal on the bed and opened the bag, spying an assortment of neatly packed clothes inside; her clothes she realized when she came across her favorite black turtleneck.

"Did they say who brought it?" she asked curiously.

"Now that you mention it, no they didn't. I figured it musta been a friend or neighbor," the older woman answered with a shrug.

Regina hummed non-committedly as she pulled out the various shirts and jeans the mystery person had packed for her. She had an idea who it could be, but was unwilling to dwell on it, knowing the possible motive behind such a caring gesture would only add to her already conflicted emotions.

"All right, young lady, I gotta head back out there, but I'll see you later this evening. Wouldn't want wanna hand off the difficult task of your nightly meds to anyone else," Jeanie said with a teasing grin and a subtle wink before heading out.

Regina shut the door behind the departing nurse, quickly stripping off the sweats she'd been stuck in the last several weeks before pulling on a pair of dark wash jeans and her black turtleneck. The scent of apples and cinnamon wrapped around her, soothing in its familiarity, but hidden just beneath was something new, something she couldn't place but seemed to recognize.

Brushing it aside as something to pursue later, the brunette picked her journal up off the other bed and got comfortable on her own before opening it to the last entry and continuing where she'd left off.

* * *

Monday dawned bright and clear and while definitely chilly, it promised to reach the low 60's later in the day; not bad for mid-October.

Taking a moment to settle into her office after the morning staff meeting, Dr. Alison Cameron placed a call to ward three before she lost her nerve, informing the charge nurse that she would be able to resume her sessions with Ms. Mills that afternoon.

It'd been nearly a week since the kiss and she hoped that they'd both be able to do the adult thing in this situation and just pretend that it never happened. Today's session would be stressful enough without adding that awkwardness to it as well.

As it always does when one is dreading something, time flew quickly and before Cameron was adequately prepared, there was a knock at her door.

The younger woman watched as Regina waltzed in, her normal aloof demeanor intact, giving no indication that anything unusual had ever happened between them.

Cameron had the sinking sensation that all the doubt and confusion she'd suffered over the last several days had been entirely one-sided before pushing it away as inconsequential. Regardless of how the other woman felt, the brunette was definitely off bounds, not only had she recently lost her wife and child, but, more importantly, she was a patient.

"Doctor," Regina greeted coolly as she sat primly in one of the provided chairs.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Mills," Cameron returned professionally, focusing on the other woman's chocolate eyes so that her own green ones would not be tempted to travel over the lithe body encased in designer jeans and a light blue button-up.

"So how have you been since our last session? Any problems with your meds or…"

"I take it there's a reason you resumed our sessions after nearly a week," Regina interrupted, annoyance edging her tone, "and that it wasn't to check on my health; the nurses keep you well informed on that, after all. Now, if you'd be kind enough to just get to the point so we can return to completely ignoring each other's existence and be all the happier for it."

Cameron's head nearly snapped back at the unexpected verbal assault launched her direction. She'd anticipated some anger for invading the older woman's privacy by going to her apartment, but Regina's vitriolic response hadn't even mentioned it and there was a note of hurt lacing the brunette's voice, though that was probably more wishful thinking on her part, that baffled the doctor.

"Very well," the fair-haired brunette acquiesced, shifting uncomfortably in her seat a moment before starting. "I went by your apartment complex this weekend and spoke with one of your neighbors, Audrey Stevenson," Cameron paused a second waiting for a sign of recognition that never came, "and she loaned me the spare key to your apartment so that I could bring you some of your own things. You don't seem surprised by this."

"Your lack of response to my newly acquired clothing was very telling, Doctor. Besides, you're the only one presumptuous enough in this facility to actually enter into someone else's home without their permission, or am I just one of the special few?"

"It's not something I make a habit of nor was it my original intention," Cameron defended, slightly miffed at the brunette's insult even if it was a fairly warranted, "but, while Mrs. Stevenson was very informative about your past, your apartment gave me a greater insight into how you've been dealing with it."

"In what way?" Regina asked, irritation coating her contralto voice. "We've been over my situation countless times and yet you still refuse believe me. While I realize that is unlikely to ever happen, you should know me well enough by now to recognize the fact that I am just as stubborn as you and just as unlikely to believe anything you try to tell me as well."

"Therein lies the problem, Ms. Mills," Cameron countered frankly. "I _don't_ know you and I had no reason to believe anything you said before now. Here, look at these," she handed over two of the images she'd taken from Regina's apartment, noticing the immediate relaxing of the brunette's posture and the soft smile that edged across her mouth at the images.

Audrey hadn't been exaggerating when she described the way Regina lit up when talking about her wife and son. Until this moment, Cameron had only seen them as an abstract delusion and not the living beings they had been. Now she realized what a great disservice she'd done not only to their memory, but to the woman sitting in front of her as well.

Brown eyes shown with such love and devotion that this Regina looked to be a completely different person from the one the doctor had witnessed the past several weeks and she was forced to ignore the small pang that jolted her heart at the sight. It would do her no good to be jealous of a ghost.

"Of all the people you drew, these two were pictured the most. Am I correct in assuming that they are Emma and Henry?"

"Yes," Regina answered, her earlier anger fading away, "but I don't do portraits; abstract is more my thing."

"Well these _were _found in your living room with at least a couple hundred others, so whatever form of expression you pursued in your professional life clearly wasn't the same as in your personal. I am curious as to how you're so sure that's Emma when you can't even see her face, though."

A small chuckle escaped the brunette as she finally turned her attention back to the doctor, "Believe me, I'd know those golden curls and that horrendous jacket anywhere. I was so glad when it got lost in the transition back to Fairytale Land but Emma was so upset I had my tailor design a similar one for her."

"I'm sure she appreciated the gesture," Cameron responded evenly, playing along with the brunette's fantasy now that she seemed open to sharing in a way she hadn't before. "How did you two meet?"

"Emma is Henry's biological mother, but I adopted him when he was just an infant. When he was ten, he got the bright idea to hop on a bus and go down to Boston to find his birth mother and bring her back to Storybrooke. I did everything in my power to chase her out of town, but she never left."

"So it wasn't love at first sight then?" Cameron asked as she unobtrusively took notes on the yellow legal pad resting on her lap. Already, the brunette's version of events was different from the story she'd heard this weekend and the doctor was curious to see how cohesive Regina's fictional life was.

"Gods no," the brunette practically snorted. "She threatened to unravel the world I'd sacrificed so much in order to create and if that weren't enough, every day Henry grew closer to her and pulled further away from me."

"So what changed?"

"I don't think I can pinpoint one specific moment, but eventually our antagonism turned to something more and I finally got the happily ever after I thought I'd never see."

"What about Henry? How did he take handle the relationship?"

"It was rough at first. He thought it was some spell the 'Evil Queen' had cast upon the 'Savior', but in time he came around and our relationship is stronger than it ever was before. He's fifteen now," Regina said as a wistful smile crossed her face. "He's turned into such a remarkable young man and will make a fine king one day, but sometimes I miss my little boy. I guess all parents go through that at some point though."

"I'll admit that until Mrs. Stevenson mentioned them, I hadn't actually believed that they existed. I figured they were all a part of the fantasy world you'd created, but when I got home Saturday night I expanded my search and was able to find them."

"You found them here, in this world? I'm honestly surprised by that. I figured whoever created this place would want me to assume that the never existed at all."

"Be that as it may, I'll warn you now, Mrs. Stevenson's versions of events, as well as what I was able to dig up, doesn't really match anything that you just told me," Cameron said gravely, trying to impress upon the other woman the severity of what she was about to reveal.

"Oh please, did Emma steal my fortune before running off with a stripper? I doubt anything you show me would be truly troubling; this is only a dream after all."

Pulling out the articles she'd printed, Cameron handed them over to Regina, closely studying the older woman's reaction as she read through them. She'd organized them carefully starting with the ones she'd found yesterday outlining Regina's career as Erin Mariam Gellis, another shock for the young doctor since 'Erin' was her favorite artist, and finishing with several on the car accident that had ended Emma and Henry's lives and nearly taken Regina's as well.

At least now she knew where all the other scars on Regina's arms and legs had come from, relieved that they had not been self-inflicted as she'd previously believed.

Long, quiet minutes passed as the brunette slowly flipped through each page, a myriad of emotions playing out on her elegant features. Reaching the final few, Cameron watched as silent tears began to stream down high cheek bones, unsure if the painful memories were finally resurfacing and breaking through Regina's delusion or if it was something else entirely.

Delicate fingers flew to the brunette's lips and a strangled gasp filled the air when Regina reached the final article. Brown eyes rolled back into her head as they fluttered shut and before she even realized what she was doing, Cameron was out of her chair and around the desk catching the older woman as she slumped unconscious into her arms.

All around them the printed pages detailing the tragic turning point of one woman's life drifted to the ground while one remained tightly clutched in her hand. The crumpled paper showed the smiling couple dressed to the nines for Regina's latest opening with their teenage son standing proudly between them on one side while the other depicted the mangled metal skeleton of the car they'd driven home in later that same night.

* * *

**A/N: **If you follow me on twitter (JadziaDax86), then you'll probably know that I've been struggling with this chapter. It's just that Erato & Melpomene were fighting and Calliope was trying to moderate while Thalia was taking notes to use it in one of her plays. Urania was completely useless in her own little world and the rest of the Muses were nowhere to be found. (Yes, each one has a specific reason for being mentioned where they were. Nerd humor.) So, I'm sorry it took so long to get out. I really do want to post weekly, but I just could not get it together for this one and, honestly, I'm still not too pleased with it, but it does what I need it to so I won't complain too much. On the plus side, I am nearly finished with the first chapter of one of my bonus fics. Now all I'm waiting on is for us to hit those numbers on this story. Which, we're only 20 away in reviews and follows so that's great! We still have a bit to go with this story so I know we'll get there. A heartfelt thanks to all my reviewers. I have seriously entertained the idea of scrapping this story more than once over the past two weeks, but remembering all the wonderful comments I've received help me suck it up and plow through. Hopefully, it'll only get better from here. Much love you guys!


	11. Chapter 11

**Slight deviation from season one. You'll know it when you see it.**

* * *

_Delicate fingers flew to the brunette's lips and a strangled gasp filled the air when Regina reached the final article. Brown eyes rolled back into her head as they fluttered shut and before she even realized what she was doing, Cameron was out of her chair and around the desk catching the older woman as she slumped unconscious into her arms. _

_All around them the printed pages detailing the tragic turning point of one woman's life drifted to the ground while one remained tightly clutched in her hand. The crumpled paper showed the smiling couple dressed to the nines for Regina's latest opening with their teenage son standing proudly between them on one side while the other depicted the mangled metal skeleton of the car they'd driven home in later that same night._

* * *

Great, shuddering gasps shook her lithe frame as Regina sat up in the sun-brightened room. The space beside her was cool and it took every ounce of will power she possessed to calmly extricate herself from the tangled, sweat-soaked sheets wrapped around her legs before stumbling out of bed onto the cold marble floors.

A small part of her realized how ridiculous she was behaving. It _was_ only a dream after all, but the horrific images of bright lights bearing down on them as she swerved to avoid the speeding truck and the screeching of twisted metal that rang in her ears as the world faded to black still playing out in her sleep-addled mind propelled her forward with an urgency she hadn't felt since Henry had eaten that poisonous turnover all those years ago.

With a negligent wave of her hand, the door to her chambers sprang open with a resounding boom that echoed down the stone corridor. Practically sprinting towards her son's room in nothing more than her silk pajamas, Regina closed the distance in mere seconds and threw open the door without bothering to knock first.

Empty.

Henry's bed was made, something she insisted he do on his own despite their many servants, but the fresh linens and crisp corners were beyond her son's normal slipshod attempts. Goosebumps broke out over here bared flesh as she shivered in the slight chill permeating the room. All bedchambers were continuously kept warm by fire this time of year and troubled, brown eyes took in the large fireplace that lay dormant, swept completely clean and clearly not utilized any time recently.

Regina could feel the slight tendrils of panic once again spreading across her nerve endings, piercing her heart and wrapping around her mind. With a conscious effort, she took a few deep breaths to stave off the impending attack.

_Calm yourself, Regina. Henry and Emma are most likely at breakfast awaiting your arrival. Now, get yourself together before the servants start spreading rumors that their Queen has lost her mind and some arrogant noble sees it as his chance to seize your throne. _

"Is anything the matter, my Queen," the gruff, but concerned voice of her guard captain called from the doorway, undoubtedly alerted to the mad dash from her room by one of the soldiers posted sentinel in the corridor.

When she was sure she'd once again regained her mask of placid arrogance, so that none of the turbulent emotions flowing through her would be visible to even her most trusted and loyal guard, she turned to face the tall man with a reassuring smile firmly in place.

"I'm fine, Galion. Your concern is appreciated, however," her tone was pleasant but held the unmistakable hint of dismissal; there were only two people she would ever willingly explain her actions to and he was not one of them.

Doubt flashed across his hazel eyes as he took in her disheveled state of dishabille, but after a brief hesitation, he schooled his grizzled features and bowed reverently before exiting.

As his heavy, booted footsteps faded to nothing more than dull thuds, she spun in place, disappearing in a puff of purple smoke and reappearing fully clothed just outside the dining hall doors.

Regina nearly wept in relief when she spied familiar blonde curls sitting at the far end of the long table, her heart beat slowing to its normal cadence as some of the tension eased from her tight shoulders.

_It really _was_ just a terrible nightmare after all_, she mentally berated herself for her clear overreaction.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Thought I was going to have to send someone up to wake you before you missed breakfast. Guess you're not quite cut out for all-nighters any more, huh?" Emma teased lightly, shooting the brunette a small grin before turning back to the food in front of her.

"Is Henry here?" Regina asked tightly as she took her seat, ignoring the younger woman's poor attempt at humor because until she actually laid eyes on her son, she could not fully release that last tendril of fear.

A low chuckle sounded from the blonde, "See, you tried to play it cool like you weren't missing him as much as I was, but I knew better. Others might not see it, but you really are just a big softie."

"Emma, where is our son?"

Some of her desperation must have leaked into her voice because Emma's smile abruptly fell she turned to face the brunette fully for the first time that morning.

'"Regina, what's wrong?" the blonde asked, jade eyes filled with worry and a slight frown marring her pink lips.

"Nothing," she returned quickly, but her girlfriend's arched eyebrow let her know the younger woman wasn't buying it for a second. "I just… I need to see Henry and make sure he's safe," she admitted on a soft sigh.

"Sweetheart, he's fine," Emma reassured, cradling one of Regina's hands between her own. "He was only with his grandparents for a week and the scout that arrived earlier said they should be home before lunch."

_A week? _

No, no, no. She clearly remembered seeing him off scarcely twenty-four hours ago.

"I'm sure you're right, dear," she agreed distractedly. "I... had another bad dream and let it get the best of me. I-I have a lot of work to do so I'll just…" she trailed off uncertainly before hastily standing and making her way quickly from the dining room, not seeing the apprehensive green eyes following her rapidly clicking footsteps as she left.

_Last time this happened was with the Dwarves, _Regina thought as she pulled yet another book from her overflowing shelves, flipping through it quickly, _but I remembered everything almost immediately. Now I've lost an entire week and none of it is returning. _One of the aged, near-translucent pages ripped in her haste and she tossed it onto the ever-growing stack of discarded tomes in frustration._ It's escalating, but what does that mean? _

Flopping unceremoniously into her plush desk chair, raven locks curled over frail shoulders shielding her from the worries of the outside world as she dropped her head in her hands, "Maybe I should ask Maleficent if she has any ideas."

"Absolutely not!" a furious shout shattered the library's stillness, startling Regina who hadn't even realized she'd spoken her thoughts aloud let alone that anyone else had entered the room as well. "You promised me that _she_ would never step foot in this realm again after what she tried to pull. Or have you completely forgotten the pain she caused us?"

Brown eyes widened in confusion at the vehemence behind Emma's outburst and though Regina could feel her jaw working as if to speak in her defense, the words would not come because she had _no_ idea what the blonde was talking about.

Her lingering silence only seemed to incense the pacing younger woman more as each second slowly ticked by.

"You have, haven't you?!" Emma asked incredulously, coming to a stop in front of her desk arms akimbo. "First our_ son_ and now _this_. What the hell is going on Regina?"

"Things have gotten a little… fuzzy for me recently," the brunette answered lamely, the nebulous summation of her current predicament the best she could come up with at this point.

It was the understatement of the century.

"Clearly," the blonde bit out, crossing her arms over her chest. "Otherwise, the thought of bringing that… _vile_ woman, the one that tried to charm me away from you and used Henry as a pawn in her demented scheme, would have never even crossed your mind."

Regina winced, not in remembrance, but in recognition of one of Maleficent's favorite schemes, one she'd participated in once or twice herself.

"No more excuses this time, Regina," Emma's voice had lost its heated edge but remained firm and uncompromising. "I've held my tongue for too long as is."

"It seems…" the brunette started slowly, unsure how to verbalize what she'd been experiencing over the last several weeks in a way that wouldn't completely terrify her girlfriend, "that someone has cast a curse upon me; a bit of poetic justice, if you will, for all the evil I have wrought. At first, I thought it was a simple dream spell that I could easily handle, but now my memories are slipping away as well and I cannot find anything in the entirety of my library that will undo it."

"Which ones?" Emma asked, her arms falling limp to her sides as alarm covered every part of her lovely face and Regina wished she hadn't been the one to put it there.

"It's impossible to know for sure. Usually I don't even realize something is gone until it's pointed out to me, like with Mal and Henry today or the Dwarves a while back, but I've found a few on my own as well when I try to remember something specific," she admitted quietly.

"Specific like what day it is or specific like you can't remember whole events?"

"Both," Regina admitted. "I only know it's Sunday because that's the day Henry was set to return. The last thing I remember is falling asleep in your arms the day he left and I have absolutely no recollection of the rest of the week."

"But who? How?" the blonde stuttered, even after all this time, the younger woman still did not grasp just how truly powerful magic could be.

"Emma, dear, we both know I have made plenty of enemies in the past, especially after I sent half of Fairytale Land to Storybrooke. Any one of them could be seeking their revenge."

"We've been here for _years, _Regina. Why now?!"

The brunette shrugged as she made her way calmly to the front of her desk, perching on the edge as Emma resumed her restless pacing.

"Perhaps they have been biding their time, waiting for me to relax my guard. On the other hand, maybe it has simply taken them this long to find a satisfactory method and enough power to enact their plan. The 'who's' and 'why's' are endless. All I really need is the 'how' so that I can finally break their hold over me."

"This is why you've been locking yourself away in here for hours on end, isn't it?" narrowed green eyes turned to her with laser like focus.

The brunette merely nodded in answer.

"Regina, this started _months _ago and you're just _now _telling me?" Emma asked in outraged hurt.

_Months?_

Did it count as déjà vu if the related events only occurred an hour apart?

"Emma, I swear it's only been a couple of weeks since I promised to come to you if my nightmares became worse and until this morning, I hadn't realized things had progressed this far."

"No, Regina, you made that promise nearly two months ago. Even then, you knew something was wrong and yet you still refused to tell me. We are supposed to be partners here; what affects you, affects me. You can't keep something this big to yourself."

Regina cringed. Emma had every reason to be upset, but she knew most of the blonde's anger stemmed from fear, which made telling her the rest all that more difficult.

"Emma, darling, please. I didn't want to worry you. It's just…" she trailed off.

"What?" the blonde's low voice warned of severe consequences if Regina even thought of leaving anything else out.

Taking a deep, fortifying breath before continuing, the brunette knew this part was going to hurt her sensitive lover.

"As I said, at first I thought it was just a dream enchantment they'd cast on me, but I'm no longer certain it's that simple. Maybe they found a way to trap me between Fairytale Land and the land without magic or even an alternate universe. All I know is that… it's getting harder to tell which world… is real," she mumbled as her head sank to her chest in shame.

The expected explosion did not happen. Instead, an unbearable stillness settled over the room as dread filled the brunette's very soul. Yelling would have been so much better compared to this heavy silence. Regina finally looked up to meet the blonde's devastated gaze staring back at her.

Emma's bearing visibly hardened a split-second later as anger burned behind bright green eyes.

"What do you mean which world is 'real'?" she ground out barely above a whisper. "I'm _here, _Regina. _Henry _is here. _This _is real."

"I _know _that, Emma, but you are… were there, too," Regina's voice was a defeated quiet as her shoulders slumped. "You were in that world as well except Storybrooke never existed, and you and Hen-Henry…"

"What Regina?" Emma prodded gently, clearly realizing that this was difficult for her.

"Yo-you died…" the brunette choked back the sob threatening to escape as she fought against the emerging disjointed images of two black coffins being lowered into the cold, dark earth on a bright, sunny day. "My every waking moment there is filled with people trying to convince me I'm delusional and that all of this," she waved delicate hands around as if to indicate all of Fairytale Land, "is a fantasy I created to deal with your loss. It's my worst nightmare come to life. I am trapped there… alone."

Tears she'd refused to let fall earlier this morning, one that had been building since the beginning, cascaded down her pale cheeks, leaving salty streaks over flawless skin in their wake. Warm arms wrapped around her as long fingers carded soothingly through her raven strands. More fragmented visions of drab hospital walls and hovering scrub-clad figures swam behind her closed eyes as she clutched desperately to the one person that could chase them away.

"Regina, you are not alone in this," Emma whispered quietly into her ear, the blonde's warm breath ghosting across her neck, "but you need to fight. I can't lose you."

"I promise, my love, I will never leave you," Regina stated firmly despite the trepidation building in her heart.

* * *

**A/N: **So I'm giving you fair warning here, I'm getting Assassin's Creed 3 tomorrow (Thursday) and I _may _not be in a position to post next week. I'll write at work as much as possible, but my home time will be pretty much nothing but gaming. That being said, this week you all are lucky, cause not only did we hit for story follower but also reviews. So that means I'll be posting both bonus fics! I've finished one and posted it at (ea-phoenix . livejournal [dot com] /9808 .html) (just remove the spaces. sorry for the inconvenience, but i'm not ready to post here yet) I'll be posting the second one in a few weeks and after that you guys can let me know which one you want me to work on next! Thanks, as always, for the wonderful comments and reviews. I tried to answer as many as possible from the last chapter, but let me reassure everyone else, that I have no intention of scrapping this fic. I'm too involved in it at this point and am really looking forward to the ending. I was just stressed with the last chapter is all.


	12. Chapter 12

The sharp click of low heels echoed faintly in the late-night hush as a lone figure made her way through the deserted corridors one final time before following the path blazed by the rest of her associates when they'd vacated the building hours ago. Nervously readjusting the leather strap of the messenger bag that rested across her left shoulder as she neared her destination, Cameron took a steadying breath that was promptly released in a relieved rush when green eyes landed on the unoccupied desk of the infirmary nurse.

Angelique had summarily kicked her out of the medical wing earlier that day issuing a stern warning not to return unless she herself was near death or she'd be put to work scrubbing bedpans for the rest of the week. Knowing this was no idle threat, Cameron had left without dispute and spent the remainder of the aggravating nurse's shift inattentively tending to her own duties before chancing a trip back only to find that the mocha-skinned woman had left strict orders with the rest of the staff not to let her in either.

Now, with only a few third-shift nurses left in the hospital to watch over the slumbering patients, it looked as though she'd finally caught a break. It wasn't like she'd been _that _much of a distraction for the working medical staff and she'd been perfectly polite as she asked that they rerun every test when they'd failed to determine why Regina had yet to regain consciousness. She also didn't believe it was an unreasonable request that they call with hourly updates after she'd been forced to leave; they were the ones that threw her out after all. They didn't seem to understand that her conscience wouldn't allow her any respite until she could once again gaze into those warm honey eyes and know that the older woman was all right.

Well… as 'all right' as a woman who'd just found out for a second time, since she evidently didn't remember the first, that she'd lost her family in a tragic accident could be.

_That was some real fine doctorin' there, Cam._

Mentally cringing at how acerbic her internal voice turned after nearly twenty hours without sleep, no matter how deserved the criticism, Cameron slipped quickly into the semi-darkened room and made her way over to the lone occupied bed.

Careful not to make any noise lest she wake the resting woman, the young doctor set her bag and thick, winter coat aside before pulling Regina's chart from the foot of the bed. Skimming over the pertinent details, the fair-haired brunette could feel a noticeable easing of the tension in her shoulders as all the test results had come back clear once again. There was nothing physically wrong with the older woman to explain her continued unconsciousness. Apparently, she remained that way simply because her mind needed the reprieve.

Who could blame her, really? From what little Cameron had been able to gather during their sessions, and some rage induced ranting, it appeared as if the raven-haired woman had everything she was missing in this life right there waiting for her in her dreams. She was able to raise her son alongside a wife she obviously adored in world filled with castles and magic. Hell, it sounded like a damn fine fairytale ending to Cameron and it nearly broke the young doctor's heart to have to be the one to take that away from her, but living in this fantasy world only to wake to a stark reality had almost killed Regina. Literally.

Gently replacing the chart in its holder, Cameron studiously avoided looking at the slumbering woman as she scanned the readings from the various flashing machines for any irregularities. Seeing that all was normal, she made her way to the woman's left side to check that the IV line was clear and flowing properly when she felt the tip of her shoe impact something light, but solid, on the floor.

The resulting hiss of the unseen object sliding across linoleum sounded unnaturally loud in the peaceful quiet of the infirmary and Cameron's jade eyes instinctively flicked to the quiescent woman, her breath automatically catching at the sight before her. Raven locks limply framed the older woman's delicate features that seemed drawn and pale in the harsh illumination that highlighted faint frown lines around her full mouth, the visible scar on her upper lip, and dark circles peeking out from beneath long lashes.

Despite these details that others would see only as 'imperfections', or maybe because of them and how they showcased the woman's normally well hidden vulnerability, Cameron thought she'd never seen a more beautiful sight and her fingers itched to sweep away that one errant tress that always seemed to break free from the other woman's impeccable coif.

Ignoring the way her heart clenched tightly in her chest and the sound of her drumming heartbeat pounding in her ears, the doctor waited several tense moments until she was positive Regina had not been disturbed in the slightest by her clumsiness and offered up a silent thanks to the universe. If the other woman were to wake now, when all her defenses were down, Cameron couldn't guarantee she'd be able to hold back the thousand-and-one words that threatened to spill from her lips every time she was even remotely near the raven-haired goddess.

_Gods, I must be more tired than I realized, _she thought as she rolled her eyes at her clearly unhinged mental state since she was practically starting up her own religion at the woman's feet.

Sinking to her knees, the irony of the position not lost on her, she searched beneath the bed for whatever she'd kicked a few minutes ago until her long fingers encountered the object. Pulling the notebook out as she slowly stood back up, brushing dust from her dark slacks, she snapped the book shut just as a flash of a familiar image catches her eye.

An embarrassingly short debate was waged between her sense of integrity and her overwhelming desire to peek at the mysterious writings enclosed, essentially invading Regina's privacy for a second time. Caving almost instantly to her insatiable curiosity, Cameron opened the notebook at the beginning and was slightly disappointed by what she found.

Where she'd expected words of grief and longing or even confusion and anger, things that would have shed some light on what the reticent woman was going through, there were instead sketches covering every inch of the lined paper. It honestly shouldn't have surprised her, especially after visiting the other woman's apartment. Clearly, Regina expressed herself through her art and Cameron couldn't help but feel that if she knew the woman a little better, she'd be able to read her every emotion just from the pictures carefully rendered here in front of her.

Slowly flipping through the journal, Cameron was once again amazed at the amount of detail put into each drawing. The loving gazes set in the beaming faces of Emma and Henry met her at every turn of the page. As she continued, she realized Henry began to appear less often and Emma's features began to change subtly, the most notable difference being her curly, golden hair. With each depiction, the long locks straightened ever so slightly and were shaded just a bit darker.

Unwilling to let her mind jump to erroneous conclusions, she tamped down any stray thoughts and focused solely on what her eyes were seeing at that moment. Reaching the center of the notebook, a muted gasp slipped involuntarily from between her lips as she was met with an image that was clearly her juxtaposed next to one that was obviously Emma.

Where Emma's hair had returned to its previous, lighter tint and a cascade of curls fell around her open, smiling countenance, Cameron's dark locks were pulled back into her customary ponytail while her long bangs draped in front of the glasses she typically wore for reading and a slight frown pulled at the corners of her mouth.

She was vaguely appalled at the representation of herself compared to that of Emma. The other woman seemed so happy, almost carefree, while she was came across as somber and discontented. It was a perfect portrayal actually. She'd not had much to smile about over the last few years and it appeared that she wasn't as adept at hiding it as she'd previously believed, especially if a woman she only saw a few hours a week had so easily picked up on it.

Dragging her gaze away from the eerily accurate depictions, green eyes tracked to the opposite page where she finally found the words she'd originally expected, set in a neat, feminine script.

_Memories fade into the silence,_

_Haunting me tonight._

_When morning breaks_

_Will sunlight finally take the pain away?_

_When faces lie and love falters_

_I am left with only time._

_And time will break_

_The dreams that take the pain away_

_I'm on my own here_

_And no one's left to be the hero of_

_This fairy tale gone wrong_

_As night will fall my heart will die alone_

_Ever after never came_

_And I'm still waiting _

_For my heart to beat again_

A maelstrom of mixed feelings swirled around Cameron's heart as the words of the brief poem slowly registered in her dazed mind. The emotions evident in such a short piece spoke of a woman torn between tragedy and hope, fantasy and reality, and a devastating desire to simply be loved hindered by the uncertainty of her current situation.

Cameron prided herself on being at least semi-intelligent, most of the time, and knew that the location of the poem was just as important as what it said. Apparently, her growing attraction was not as one-sided as she'd previously feared and while her heart leapt at the thought, guilt immediately settled in at the realization that she was causing Regina even more pain and confusion.

_Shit… this just makes it all so much worse._

Unrequited attraction she could bury beneath her typical stoicism and a well-honed professional mask. Knowing that it was mutual, however, placed her in a tough position. Ethically, she should hand over Regina's case to one of her colleagues immediately. Actually, she probably should have done that after last week's… incident, if not long before when she first realized her growing affections for her patient. Personally, on the other hand, she knew she was too invested to be able to walk away at this point.

Regina was just starting to confide in her and while it was still like pulling teeth to get any information from the older woman, Cameron had learned more in their last two sessions than she had in the first dozen combined. Anyone else would have to start from the beginning and the brunette could easily regress fully back into her delusion during the transition. What little progress she'd made so far was truly quite significant, if she was questioning her fantasy as much as the poem led Cameron to believe she was.

No, the other woman's life was too unstable at this point and she needed to know she wouldn't be abandoned. Now all Cameron needed to do was find a way to bring Regina fully back into this reality without nearly breaking her completely like she almost had this time.

Unfocused green eyes danced erratically over the supine form next to her, mirroring her jumping thoughts as she desperately searched for a way to break down the brunette's final barriers in a way that conveyed safety and trust. Her fluttering gaze landed on an incongruous spot of yellow in a sea of white. Clutched loosely in the sleeping woman's right hand was a slightly chewed pencil. Without only a few moments contemplation, Cameron reached over the bed and gently freed the writing instrument before setting it against the paper in her hand.

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**A/N: **"Poem" is actually lyrics from _I Am Only One _by We are the Fallen. Great song, you should check it out. It's what inspired the whole chapter. Anyways... SORRY! I know it took _forever_ for me to post again. Part of it was my video game, like i'd warned you all about, but most of it was that i got sucked into the Devil Wears Prada fandom. *hidesinshame* I've never even seen the movie! But there are a ton of great fics for it. I've probably read a few million words in several hundred stories over the last two weeks. Even at work, I did more reading than i actually did work stuff. Hehe. I just needed a mental break from OUAT for a bit, since I've been breathing, eating, and sleeping it since the very first episode. I've got my addiction under control now, however, so weekly updates are back on. There's about 4, maybe 5, chapters left so we are nearing the end! On that note, I've also got the two bonus fics I promised cause you guys have been amazing with the reviews and following me here and on twitter. One is already up on my livejournal account (same name as here just an underscore instead of a dash). That's _Lost Before the Dawn. _So check it out. I have the other one written and posted as a prologue, but I've changed my mind on it and that's going to be chapter 1 and i'm going to write a more interesting prologue that also explains a little more about what's going on. So once I finish that, I'll probably post them here and then let you guys choose which one you want me to work on next. I'm excited about both, so I really don't mind working on either. Okay, that's about it. Thanks for your patience with this update and thank you for all the wonderful comments you leave. Keep them up! I like knowing what you guys think and if there are anythings I need to work on. Luv ya all!


	13. Chapter 13

**Some main plot spoilers for season 2 up to episode 3 or 4, but if you're watching the show, you won't be surprised.**

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"What can I do to help?" the soft lilt of a hesitant voice broke the stifling silence that had pervaded the large study for the last several hours.

Dark brown eyes snapped to find concerned green staring back from the middle of the room and Regina bit back the initial vitriolic response that had been lying in wait on the very edge of her lips like a coiled snake waiting for the first unsuspecting victim to cross its path. She refused to release anymore of her frustration and fear, though she was loath to ever admit to possessing such a weakness, on the blameless younger woman.

The uncertainty and confusion of her situation had been wearing her nerves down to the point that if anyone even dared breathe heavily within hearing distance, the furious castigation they received would send them running from the room in tears. Most had been mere servants and, while she realized they had not deserved such a damning rebuke, she was still their Queen and would not apologize for her actions.

To her great shame, however, Emma and Henry had also been on the wrong end of her incensed diatribes on more than one occasion. While Emma had been immensely patient and forgiving, after a readily offered, extremely heartfelt apology, Henry had not been so tolerant and had required a fair amount of pleading and an explanation for her recent behavior before finally relenting.

They had discussed how much to tell him, if the need to do so ever arose, after Regina had been able to pull herself together the night she'd confessed everything to Emma. Their son was old enough to understand the complexities and consequences she was facing, but both mothers were reluctant to worry the young man more than necessary. They wouldn't and couldn't lie to him, especially since he had inherited his blonde mother's 'super power', so they'd come up with a vague summation of facts that would stress the seriousness of the situation without delving too deep into the particulars. The look they'd received when speaking with him left no doubt in either's mind that Henry didn't fully buy their explanation, but wasn't going to push it… for now.

Confronted once again with the distressed look that had taken near-permanent residence on the younger woman's pale features, Regina felt the last burning wisps of her anger flicker out of existence only to be replaced by an overwhelming sense of failure.

"I don't believe there is anything you can do, Emma," she sighed in defeat. "I have searched this study high and low for answers and none are to be found within these walls. The only hope I have left is if one of the mages or sorcerers in the other realms possess the answer I seek. Though, with all I put them through in the past, it is highly unlikely that they will even read any of my correspondence let alone answer it."

"Regina," Emma breathed in clear exasperation as she stepped forward.

Raising a delicate hand to halt the younger woman before she could begin, Regina interrupted, "I know, my dear. Believe me; I am no more pleased by my querulous tone than you. I apologize; I am just… very tired." She admitted, wearily rubbing her stinging eyes with her thumb and forefinger.

"Hey, come here," a smooth hand enveloped hers in a firm, but tender, grip before leading her from behind the desk and over to a low settee situated in front of a roaring fire.

Warmth infused every fiber of her being from the blaze before her and the lithe body behind. Settling into the welcoming embrace of the strong arms wrapped around her middle, Regina felt the last tendrils of tension melt away as she laced dexterous fingers with in her own.

"Okay, 'Gina. Now talk to me," the low voice whispered calmly in her ear. "I understand why you've been tense, but it seems that it just gets worse every day. I thought you said the reality hopping had stopped."

Though not phrased as a question, Regina knew Emma was still seeking confirmation and hummed out her answer, "Yes. It's been nearly a week now."

"Shouldn't we take that as a good sign that maybe the curse or whatever it is has finally ended?"

"I'd like to believe that were true," she answered honestly

"But?" the blonde prompted after a few moments of silence.

"But… there's still the fact of my missing memories. One part of the curse may have ended," _taking Cameron with it. _Wrapped in the arms of her lover, she resolutely refused to even remotely contemplate her feelings on that. "However, the second half seems to grow worse with each passing day."

"So nothing has returned then?"

Long, raven locks swayed as she simply shook her head in response.

"Have you found more?"

Despite Emma's brave front, Regina could still detect the faint wavering in her seemingly calm voice and could only nod in reply.

The body behind her tensed as she heard the blonde's breathing hitch and she squeezed the fingers in her grasp tightly, trying to reassure the younger woman that everything was fine, even if her confidence was severely dwindling as well.

Several silent minutes passed as each woman stared absently into the flickering flames, lost in her own thoughts. Regina could feel the unasked question hanging heavily in the air between them, but knew that Emma would be reluctant to push for more after her erratic behavior this previous week.

"Tell me a story," the brunette requested quietly.

"Umm… o-okay," Emma stuttered in confusion at the non-sequitur. "Uh, what would you like to hear?"

"Tell me the one about how the White Knight managed to break the Evil Queen's wicked curse, not only freeing all those she had trapped, but saving said Queen's soul and mending her shattered heart in one fell swoop."

Regina knew the instant Emma realized exactly why she was asking when a chocked sob broke free from the blonde and powerful arms clutched her tighter. A light kiss was placed at the corner of her jaw as the crushing embrace loosened with a shaky exhalation that breezed across her neck.

"Wh-where should I start?" Emma asked in voice husky with repressed emotion.

"Start with the most important thing first-us and how we got together. Then you can fill me in on how we returned here."

"Well… our love for each other and our return to Fairytale Land are actually the same story. The first two years after I arrived in Storybrooke were pretty rough. You pretty much hated me on the spot and I wasn't your biggest fan either, honestly. It was a rollercoaster of emotions and it all centered on Henry. I guess you saw me as a threat to your relationship with him and I can see why you thought that now. Our biggest fights were about him, but he's also the thing that brought us together."

"Whenever you were especially cruel, I'd think back on the mine incident and how afraid you were for him and how relieved you were when we got him out safely. I think that was the day I started looking at you differently. Not in a sexual way, though even then I was stunned by how beautiful you are, but I finally saw you as… human, I guess is the best word for it. I saw the woman behind the mask that had fears and insecurities just like the rest of us, but I also saw the mom that was scared to death for her son."

"Then there was that whole you-tried-to-poison-me-with-an-apple-turnover thing. When we thought we'd l-lost Henry," Emma's voice cracked in remembrance and Regina's heart clenched at the thought of ever losing her son. "Anyways… even in my grief I could see how it was ripping you apart. Luckily, true love really can break any curse cause with one kiss to his forehead he came back and your curse was lifted as well. Shame it only works once per pairing, otherwise you might not be suffering so much right now."

The last sentence was spoken almost as an aside but it caught Regina's attention nonetheless.

"What do you mean?" she asked puzzled, turning slightly to look into shimmering jade eyes. "When did we use 'true love' to fix anything?"

"Is none of this really not ringing a bell for you?"

The brunette shook her head with a simple, "No."

"Well, that's part of the 'how we got here' story. After the curse broke, people were not real happy with you." Regina snorted at this, because she knew that had to be the understatement of the century. "The short version is that while trying to protect you from a wraith, Snow and I ended up in Fairytale Land. We spent a few hellish weeks trapped here with your psychotic mother before youwere able to find a way to bring us back. You know, meeting her actually explained a lot…"

Emma's voice faded as Regina fought against the encroaching darkness that always threatened when something even remotely related to her mother was mentioned. To have it practically thrown in her face so unexpectedly in such a casual manner had her in a near full-blown panic attack within seconds. Blood roared in her ears as a cold sweat broke out all over her body. The once comforting arms felt confining and she all but jumped off the sofa in her haste to break free.

"Regina?" Emma asked baffled at her abrupt change in behavior.

"You said my m-mother was here? In Fairytale Land? And you saw her?"

Emma nodded in confirmation as a deep frown marred her pink lips.

"That… that's not poss… it's impossible. I-I… I…" _killed her. _She couldn't say it. She'd never said it out-loud, as far as she could remember, and wasn't about to now. It would only lead to more questions and probing into a painful past at the hands of her mother that she'd rather forget.

_Figures, my memories are fading and those are the ones that still remain crystal clear, _she scoffed as she began a restless pacing in front of the fire._ Maybe this is some form of punishment for all my transgressions. Maybe… maybe it's _her! _She has more than enough power and the motive. But, I killed her! I held her heart in my hand and watched it crumble to dust with my own eyes. _

"Regina!"

The startling shout snapped her from the frantic thoughts racing through her head as the solid hands grasping her shoulders ceased her agitated strides.

"Why didn't you tell me before?!" the brunette raged. "We-we have to leave. It's not safe here or anywhere if she's still alive."

"Regina, listen to me," Emma implored in a soothing tone. "She's gone. We- Snow and I- took care of her before we returned. She can't hurt us, I swear."

"You're sure?"

"I have never lied to you and I'm not now. I promise; she is gone."

"Alright," Regina breathed out as the adrenalin flooding her system gradually worked its way out, manifesting itself in shaking hands and unsteady footsteps.

Emma once again guided her to the settee and sat beside her, silently waiting for the brunette to regain her equilibrium. Regina was sure the blonde had a thousand questions about what just happened, but, thankfully, refrained from asking any of them.

"I believe," the brunette started after several minutes had passed, "that you were in the middle of a story."

"Oh… Right. Well, once we returned to Storybrooke, things just kinda grew from there. You'd made an impressive turn around and were actually quite civil to me on several occasions. You seemed sincere enough and since you were Henry's other mother, I figured it wouldn't hurt if we were at least friends. It took a while," Emma chuckled softly at this and Regina wished she could remember everything the blonde was telling her, "but we got there. There were movie nights and weekly dinners with Henry, you'd let him stay over every few nights after he'd moved back into the mansion with you. It was all felt so _normal_ and I didn't realize my feelings for you were changing until about a year later. Out of all the times you'd insulted my lack of perceptive abilities, that was the one instance where I completely agreed."

"So how'd we actually end up together?"

"I asked," Emma replied with a negligent shrug.

"That was all?" Regina questioned incredulously. Who knew she was so easy?

"Well yeah, but I think I asked about a hundred times before you actually agreed."

That was more like it.

"We did all the normal couple stuff; dinners, movies, walks in the parks, and such. Henry was surprisingly ecstatic about it, though, I think he knew before we did. My parents… well they took a little longer. They swore up and down it had to be a trick or a spell of some kind and didn't really stop until we got everyone back here. Then, after being together for about five months or so, you," Emma faltered, "you told me you loved me. Just out of the blue and I'm sorry to say I didn't handle it well... I bolted."

Regina was truly shocked by this confession. Between the two of them, she would have thought she'd be the one doing the running at a declaration of love.

"Ironic, I know, since I was the one that pestered you to go out, but it felt like too much too soon and I couldn't handle it," a look of shame crossed Emma's face and her gaze grew distant as she relived the memory. "After so long you were finally able to open yourself up to someone else and I was a complete coward."

"I buried myself in work and ignored anyone who mentioned you. It was just too much. Henry was terrified and practically dragged me back one day about three weeks later. I'd convinced myself, somehow, that you would get over it and were probably better off without me. When I saw you though, gods, I'd never been so scared. You were so thin and pale. Henry said you hadn't gotten out of bed and had barely eaten. My heart shattered seeing you like that. I vowed then and there to never leave you again as long as it was in my power. It took some time before you'd trust me again, but eventually you did and you finally allowed yourself to love me again and I was able to accept it and my love for you. Evidently, that was the key to open the door to this realm, though Rumple never would explain it properly, but here we are either way."

"So there was no 'epic battle' of good versus evil in the middle of Storybrooke?" Regina asked clearly recalling the image of Emma walking towards her, sword in hand, as smoke and ash filled the fire lit sky around them.

It was so clear where everything else had either utterly vanished or had blurred to the point of being indecipherable, that she could have sworn it'd actually happened.

"Well I wouldn't say that," the blonde chuckled ruefully. "Several of our arguments could definitely be described as 'epic' and I'm sure the emotional war waged inside each of us wasn't exactly fun, but, no, I never had to raise a sword against you; a few villagers, maybe, but never you."

A dark eyebrow arched and the younger woman easily interpreted the unasked question.

"Apparently, not everyone was so willing to see you regain your previous position of power. It took all of my negotiating skills, several threats, and a few well placed punches to get them to back off. It was a year in September and no one has bothered us since. My parents still won't let you set foot inside their kingdom, but they don't seem so concerned anymore. I think it helped when you immediately offered to return Snow's throne to her, even if she ultimately refused. I'm not sure if that was some kind of test or if they were just worried about Henry and me being out in a foreign world with the 'Evil Queen' and all that," Emma shrugged. "Henry is set to take over both realms when you guys step down so I guess you passed if it was."

Regina really wasn't very surprised to hear of her rather hostile reception. She just considered herself lucky that Snow White and her _Prince Charming_ hadn't tried to forcefully keep Emma or Henry away from her, as far as she knew anyways.

"You really don't remember any of this?" the blonde asked evenly, but her trepidation shown visibly as her eyes shaded to a deep emerald and the corners of her mouth drooped into the slightest frown.

Regina merely shook her head as the couple reclaimed their previous position on the sofa, content, for now, to enjoy the moment of intimacy before the real world once again intruded upon their small sanctuary.

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**A/N: **Hey guys! There's really just not much to say on this chapter. It's pretty much filler and I apologize for that, but I have my reasons (like always) for what I put in. Plus, I thought you guys might like at least a little back story on our two favorite ladies ;) Thank you all for taking the time to read it and especially if you comment or favorite/follow. Those email alerts always make my day! Also, I will be finishing up those extra stories I keep promising you all sometime this week and will post along with the new chapter next week. Though my tweeps will get to see them sooner, so follow if you can (JadziaDax86). Luv you guys!

Oh wait! Anyone else see the new pics out of Lana and her sexy belly piercing? *headdesk* Seriously find them if you can. Now every time I see her in one of those oh-so-delicious power suits I'm going wonder if she has it in and I'll completely miss everything else that's going on. Lol. And I know I won't be alone in that.


	14. Chapter 14

Bleak afternoon sunlight filtered feebly through the heavy, grey clouds that hung low in the winter sky, with barely enough strength to illuminate the intimate sitting room let alone the sheets of paper that comprised the novel Regina currently held in her hands. Flickering candles and a crackling fire aided in the cause, but their assistance was futile since the brunette had spent the last half hour staring vacantly at the same page without reading a single word.

It was only at Emma's insistence that she even found herself here now when she could be focusing her attention on some of the more pressing matters that came with running a kingdom. The blonde was a shrewd negotiator when it came to getting Regina to comply with her wishes, utilizing her wily forms of persuasion to convince Regina that she should take some time to 'rest and relax' while she and Henry trained with the royal guards.

That had been another of Emma's brilliant ideas that the brunette had been swift to shoot down. Royalty were instructed solely by a skilled weapons-master, either individually or with other court nobles; to spar with common soldiers was simply not done. Yet again, however, the younger woman had been able to easily sway her opinion by reasoning that without practical knowledge of group training, she would be an inefficient leader for the civilian guard and Henry's effectiveness as a future military leader would be greatly hindered.

Though she still didn't believe it quite fair that Emma had argued her point while they'd been tangled up in sweat-soaked sheets as the blonde's dexterous fingers and agile tongue danced across her naked skin. After all, who could stand strong in the face of such a delicious onslaught? Needless to say, she'd conceded without much fuss and now she found herself at a loss as to how to occupy herself in a 'relaxing' manner while her partner and son participated in the fourth session of their semiweekly group training.

Setting aside the forgotten book with a sigh, Regina stood from the small sofa, stretching the stiff muscles of her legs that had been curled beneath her for the better part of the past two hours. Pacing leisurely before the warm fire, her unoccupied mind returned to her current predicament, or… more accurately her lack thereof.

Nearly an entire month had passed since she had returned to Rosewood and Cameron in her dreams. While Emma saw this as a good sign, Regina also knew the blonde wasn't aware of the entire situation. Yes the dreams, or whatever they were, had stopped, but her fading memories had not. Truthfully, that worried her more than anything else.

Since seeing how upset Emma had become when she revealed that she'd forgotten how they'd gotten together and their subsequent returned to Fairytale Land, she'd refrained from mentioning it again. She never out right lied when the younger woman asked her about it, but she wasn't above prevarication and deflection. If the blonde had become so distraught all those weeks ago, how would she react to the news that the most recent memory Regina could recall was the moment when Henry was placed into her arms as an infant?

It wouldn't be pretty. That was for sure.

Clenching her fists in frustration, Regina ceased her restless pacing in front of the stone hearth, staring into the dancing flames as if she could divine all the answers of the universe from their swaying, leaping forms.

She scoffed silently at her own ridiculousness, but remained where she was, taking welcome comfort from their warmth as her mind continued its train of thought.

Everything between holding her son that first time and the bizarre dream of Emma killing her had simply vanished. She was even missing a few months of time here, though every day for the past several weeks were, thankfully, accounted for.

Originally, she'd believed her loss of memory and the dreams of the mental asylum were connected. It made sense; every time she woke up here, something else was missing, though it had practically smacked her in the face before she realized. That, however, did not explain why more were disappearing every day when she'd not returned to those dreams for so long.

_If the dreams aren't the link, then what is?_

She still didn't have an answer for that and not knowing was driving her insane.

_Which is probably the point_, she thought, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

Soon, she feared, she would regress so far back that she wouldn't even remember who she was or, worse, who Emma and Henry were and why they were important to her.

Refusing to even contemplate such an occurrence, and truly tired of 'relaxing', she decided to meet Emma and Henry at the end of their training.

Wrapping her fur cloak tighter around her shoulders as she stepped out into the chilled, afternoon wind, Regina made her way across the snow-covered grounds towards the barracks and training grounds.

The sounds of clanging metal, thudding bodies, and shouts of instruction and encouragement grew in volume as she neared, drowning out the crunching snow beneath her boots. Nearly two-hundred off duty guards were scattered throughout the vast area, participating in various drills and exercises. The once pristine ground gave way to a muddy slush that the queen could clearly see added a completely new level of difficulty to the maneuvers. She was pleasantly surprised at how well her men seemed to be handling it though.

Brown eyes scanned the multitude of bodies searching for one in particular. Normally, it wasn't difficult to pick Emma out from the crowd, but with muck and dirt liberally coating every inch of every person in sight, the task was proving fairly hopeless.

"Line up for Queen's inspection," someone exclaimed suddenly from her right, obviously, she'd been spotted, and Regina had to fight to suppress an amused grin as she watched the men scramble to obey.

Striding forward, as if this had been her intention the entire time, she calmly walked among the ranks as they stood stiffly before her. With such a large number, it was a long process, but her men were nothing if not disciplined and no one so much as twitched as she took her time looking over each individual.

Halfway down the third row from the end, Regina met the bright, jade eyes of the only person that had the audacity and courage to meet her own brown orbs at such a time. She lingered for a moment, taking in the mud coated blonde locks and battered clothing. Rolling her eyes at the playful wink shot her way, she went off to finish her impromptu inspection.

"Captain," she spoke calmly once she'd returned to the front of the line, "your men appear to be in decent shape today. I expect you will maintain the high level of standard that has kept them in good stead so far."

"Of course, Your Majesty," he responded promptly with a bow before dismissing the other guards for the day as she made her way back towards the castle.

Quick footsteps sound from behind and she didn't have to guess to know who it was. Coming to a stop, she only had a few seconds to wait until the smiling form of her lover was beside her.

"My Lady," Emma greeted with a gallant bow, displaying proper public decorum, before offering her arm to escort Regina the rest of the way.

Despite the mud and filth covering the blonde's sleeve, Regina tucked her hand into the crook of Emma's elbow as they resumed their journey.

"Where's Henry?" Regina asked curiously. "I thought he'd be out here as well."

"He was for the group exercises," Emma answered, "but Galion says he's still too young to participate in the individual combat drills and sent him to train with the weapons-master for the remaining time."

"I'm glad to hear it," Regina said relieved. She quite agreed that Henry was still too young and inexperienced to spar with men twice his age and weight.

"So, did you take my advice and actually relax while Henry and I were out here in the freezing cold working our butts off?"

"Hmm… some," Regina hummed. "I was able to get a little pleasure reading done before I grew restless."

"Well, I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd actually listen to me."

"It's not like you gave me much choice, dear. Personally escorting me to your study, where I had absolutely no access to any of my books or reports, made it rather difficult to do anything else."

"You could have left," Emma responded nonchalantly.

The words were casual and her tone smooth, but the slight quirk at the corner of pale lips, imperceptible to anyone else, exposed her teasing intent.

"Well," Regina countered, "there was the guard you posted outside the _open_ door to ensure no one 'disturbed' me, but who I know you placed to make sure I stayed put and didn't magic myself out. You do not fool me for one second, Emma Swan."

The younger woman had the good grace to blush at being found out, but the brunette had no true complaint with Emma's actions. Especially since they stemmed from sincere love and care.

"Come now," she said spurring the blonde on a little faster, "supper is in a few short hours and you are going to need to spend every spare second from now until then in the bath just to rid yourself of that awful stench. Honestly, did Galion have you clean the horse stalls before starting?"

Emma chuckled, but otherwise remained quiet as the couple entered their bedchambers and swept straight into the bathroom where a porcelain, clawfoot bathtub waited in the center of the room. Faint wisps rose from the steaming water carrying a light scent from the unique mix of bath oils meant to sooth aching muscles and heal any minor cuts or bruises the blonde may have sustained during her training.

Stripping quickly, the younger woman tossed her soiled clothes into the far corner to deal with later before easing into the hot water with a low groan of approval.

Green eyes fluttered shut in apparent bliss and Regina took advantage of this rare moment to study her lover unobserved. Mud-caked golden curls, now released from their binding, cascaded down along high cheekbones, over a strong jaw, and caressed a delicate neck until the final inches fanned out around a lithe body as they floated in the clear water.

"Would you care to join me or are you just gonna stand there all night and watch?" Emma asked, breaking Regina's reverie.

With a pass of her hand, Regina removed the heavy, long-sleeved dress she'd been wearing and stood in the slightly chilled room in nothing more than the corset and satin thong she'd worn underneath.

Basking in the younger woman's appreciative gaze as she sauntered across the room, Regina grabbed a folded towel from a piled stack and dropped it on the floor near the head of the tub to protect her knees from the hard floor as she knelt behind to the immersed blonde.

"Wet your hair and get what mud out you can," she directed gently.

Emma eagerly complied as Regina reached for a nearby jar. The mixture of various plant and fruit oils, along with bits of soap flakes, wasn't quite as good as what could be found in Storybrooke, but it got the job done.

Spreading a generous portion over her hands, Regina began to methodically work it through Emma's damp tresses, making sure to cover every inch and work out any dirt still clinging to them. A soft moan broke free from the blonde as the brunette's blunt nails lightly scratched over her scalp.

Regina didn't even bother to suppress the self-satisfied smirk that settled across her lips. She knew too well how gratifying it was to have someone else indulge her in a similar way, especially with her hair at this rather ridiculous length.

"I think I may cut my hair short again," she murmured, not really expecting a reply.

"I agree," Emma hummed as Regina hit a particularly sensitive spot. "It's gorgeous as it is now, but there's just something about you with shorter hair. I can't even describe it, but it suits you and it's easier to wrap my fingers in when necessary."

"Rinse," the brunette commanded as she shoved the blonde's shoulders, pushing her under water and wiping away the wicked grin the younger woman had been sporting.

Moving to the side of the tub, Regina met Emma's half-hearted glare of indignation as she sat back up with an arched eyebrow until the younger woman rolled her eyes and settled back against the smooth porcelain.

"You're lucky I love you, you know," Emma groused with a faux pout.

"So you say, dear, but who is pampering whom here?" Regina countered as she lathered a wet cloth with a bar of soap.

"Well," the blonde returned shamelessly, "if you'd joined me when I first offered, I'd be the one taking care of all _your _needs at this point."

For all of her talk, Regina knew Emma was not up for anything more at this point. She'd need some rest and a substantial meal to recover from her training first. Later tonight, however, that was a different story.

"I will be more than happy to take you up on that offer _after _you are clean and not in a tub filled with filthy water," Regina stated as she tenderly washed off the layers of dirt and sweat that had accumulated on the blonde during her long day.

When she finished, she gently roused the younger woman who'd fallen asleep halfway through her ministrations. Wrapping herself and Emma in the plush robes they used in the cold winter months, Regina led the blonde to their bed for a much deserved nap. An undignified squeak escaped her throat when Emma hadn't released her hand as planned and instead pulled her down onto the large mattress as well.

"Stay with me," Emma mumbled drowsily as she wrapped a long arm around Regina's waist from behind, fitting herself flush against the brunette's back.

"Gladly," Regina replied as she settled comfortably into the blonde's embrace and slipped into a light sleep.

They had a couple hours until dinner after all and wouldn't be missed until then.

* * *

**A/N: **I know, I know. I suck. I'm sorry. I have no excuses. I've just had issues getting myself to write recently. I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday. I know i did, cause if you'll notice the new image for this story. Yeah, that was my xmas present from my best friend. She got me a certified, authentic, autographed picture of the luscious Lana herself. I nearly passed out. And I did tear up a little, but I didn't cry. Lana touched that picture! I haven't taken it out of it's protective casing yet. I'm waiting until i have a frame for it, but when i do, I'll be touching something she held! It'll be a major fangirl moment for me. LOL. Anyways... Not much to say on this chapter. It's kinda fluff but it's not completely pointless. Either way, I hope you enjoy. If you haven't seen, the previous chapter to this, isn't actually a chapter. It's a preview for the next two stories I plan to write. So read those, if you haven't, and let me know if you prefer one over the other. The one with the most votes wins and I do take anon reviews. All i need is the title, you don't have to add anything else. Much love to you guys and thanks for reading and any comments you leave!


	15. Chapter 15

"_Stay with me," Emma mumbled drowsily as she wrapped a long arm around Regina's waist from behind, fitting herself flush against the brunette's back._

"_Gladly," Regina replied as she settled comfortably into the blonde's embrace and slipped into a light sleep. _

_They had a couple hours until dinner after all and wouldn't be missed until then_

* * *

Faint footsteps shuffling across the bare floor and the quiet click of a shutting door broke through the sleep-induced fog that filled Regina's mind as she gradually pulled herself back into the waking world. A drowsy warmth weighed down her slender limbs, drawing her back towards slumber, but it was impossible to ignore her parched throat and the unpleasant, metallic taste lingering on her tongue that only comes from sleeping too little… or too long.

_Why even bother with naps when all they do is make me feel worse than before?_ she idly wondered before an image of smooth skin topped by golden curls resting peacefully beside her flashed across her mind.

_Right… Well, there is that_, she conceded with a yawn as she rolled over onto her side in a vain attempted to escape the encroaching sunlight shining behind her still closed eyes.

A sharp pinch to the back of her left hand jerked her abruptly out of the pleasant haze she'd been enjoying.

_Oww… fu… _

"…ck," she finished aloud as she bolted up to examine the injured appendage only to find a long IV needled taped to it.

Following the thin trickle of blood caused by the sudden pull, her eyes tracked the line attached to the needle down her wrist, across starched white sheets, and up a long pole until it ended in a clear, plastic bag half drained of its contents.

_Rosewood, _she recognized as the rest of the room came into view.

Dropping her head with a resigned sigh, shoulder-length brown locks muffled the depressingly-familiar sounds around her -hushed voices echoing through the hallway, the steady beep emanating from the heart monitor on her right- blocking out this damnable world for just a few more precious seconds and allowing Regina a moment to swallow down her sharp disappointment.

An entire _month_ had passed since she'd visited this nightmare. At first, she'd feared its lack of existence nearly as much as she'd feared the possibility that it was real, but as the days, then weeks, had passed her hope for returning back to her normal life had grown and she was able to push aside her complicated feelings for Cameron and focus on her family. The young doctor was only a figment of her imagination based on her very real, very loving girlfriend after all, she had reasoned.

Now that she once again found herself in this… alternate reality, every doubt and fear she'd been able to quell came rushing back. Bitter tears gathered and spilled from the corners of her eyes as these feelings were compounded by the guilt that settled heavily in the pit of her stomach at the small amount of joy and excitement the thought of seeing Cameron again brought to her heart.

"So glad to see you're awake, Ms. Mills," she flinched as the unexpectedly chipper voice interrupted her maudlin thoughts.

Hastily wiping away the last of her tears with a final sniffle, Regina schooled her features into the stoic mask of superiority and indifference that she'd spent thirty-plus years perfecting and faced a tall, pixie-cut blonde nurse whose nametag read "Maddy". She vaguely recognized the woman, but couldn't recall ever interacting with her before.

"How are you feeling this afternoon?" she asked as she pulled the brunette's chart from the end of the bed and began making notes in it.

_Why do they always start with that ridiculous question?_ Regina thought, running a tense hand through slightly greasy locks in frustration.

Biting back her initial response –one that questioned the woman's intelligence and brought up the possibility of inbreeding with in her family- she mumbled, "I've been better,"

She knew well enough by now that things moved a lot quicker in this place if she just answered their questions. Preferably slowly and with as few multi-syllabic words as possible.

"Well, the good news is everything looks pretty good and once Dr. Wyatt gets in we should be able to release you back to the ward rather quickly. I know Dr. Cameron will be glad to hear you're awake, too. She's been so worried since you were brought in."

"Worried?" Regina asked in surprise.

Why in any gods' name would Cameron be worried about her?

"Oh my yes," Maddy quickly replied, looking up from the chart in her hands. "She hovered over Dr. Chopra's shoulder as he ran the initial tests. One of the charge nurses had to ban her from the ward after she demanded they run the tests a third time. She's had us calling with hourly updates whenever she's in the office and every two at night when she's home ever since."

"Every night? How long have I been out?" Regina asked but the chatty nurse, who looked and acted as if she'd just recently graduated from high school, never broke her stride as she continued yammering on, apparently not hearing the brunette's questions.

"She even left strict instructions to call her directly if your condition changed even the slightest. I've got to remember to call her now that you're up," she said more to herself. "Anyways… She seems to think it was her fault for some reason. Not that she actually said as much to me, mind you. I got that from one of the other nurses who got it from someone else that overheard her talking to Angelique. It makes sense, though, cause I've never seen her so anxious the entire last three years I've worked here. Then again, maybe she just hasn't had a patient pass out on her before. Oh dear, you're bleeding a little there. Let me just go get something to take care of that. Don't go anywhere now."

Mind still reeling from the verbal whirlwind that had just assaulted her, Regina could only watch on in a daze as the young nurse scampered across the infirmary to gather the necessary supplies. One piece of information stood out from the deluge, though; Cameron had been worried about _her. _She'd even been kicked out for being underfoot then insisted on hourly updates on _her _condition.

The younger woman had seemed so calm and collected, ever the professional, in their last session that Regina thought she'd been the only one still reeling from their kiss. Maybe that hadn't been the case at all.

Pushing aside the warm, tingly feeling that was welling up inside her chest, Regina repeated her earlier question before Maddy could go off on another tangent.

"You said 'every night', meaning more than one. How long was I out?"

"Oh let me check," the bubbly nurse said as she set aside the materials she'd fetched in order to flip through Regina's chart once more. "I've been on vacation for the last two weeks with my fiancé and just returned this morning so I'm still playing catch up. It says here… that you were admitted on Monday afternoon and it's a little after eight this morning so… just under five days."

"Five days?!" Regina asked incredulously.

She'd have been less surprised if the woman had said she'd been out of it for a month. After all, that was how long she'd spent in Fairytale Land.

At least she was finally able to answer one of the thousand questions she had; time definitely moved at a different rate here. Good to know, but it didn't exactly help clarify which world was real or what was still trapping her in between the two.

"Yes ma'am," the nurse replied, bringing her back to the matter at hand, "but your vitals are strong and all your tests came back clear of any abnormalities which is great. Dr. Chopra will still want to check you out himself in a few days just to make sure nothing changes by then, but I wouldn't worry if I were you. You're in perfect physical health."

"Does my chart also say when I was admitted?" Regina asked, ignoring the slight emphasis the annoying nurse put on 'physical'.

"Umm… yes. It says original admittance date was just over six weeks ago on September thirteenth."

Doing the mental math, while Maddy finally attended to her bleeding hand, Regina figured she'd been in Rosewood for roughly forty-five days. Subtract the days she'd spent passed out after her transfer and this latest unconscious episode and it came down to thirty-six days spent awake and lucid at Rosewood.

As cut off from the outside world as the patients here were, all the days tended to blur together, so that after a couple weeks it became nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. Realizing this fairly early on, Regina had taken to marking the inside of her closet door -one never could be too careful after all- as each morning dawned. At last count, the day she'd collapsed, she was at thirty-one days from the first time she'd awoken in the infirmary.

_Time here is linear, _she realized.

"Hey, Maddy. Have you seen Wyatt around anywhere? I need these papers for Mr. Clarkson signed," a deep voice called from the door and both women turned towards the new comer.

"Oh, hey Gary. No I haven't," Maddy answered as he made his way towards them.

Regina's eyes flitted over the square jaw covered by a trim beard the same color as his sandy hair, right down to the streaks of grey speckled throughout, and the long scar just over his right eyebrow.

_Galion? _

Hazel eyes, ones she'd looked into a hundred times before, meet hers and in the split second that they held, a flood of memories came rushing back.

Gali… 'Gary' was a new orderly on the ward having just transferred in the morning of Regina's latest excursion to the infirmary. He'd been introduced during the morning group session and had actually been the one to escort her to Cameron's office that afternoon.

Scanning back over her time spent in Fairytale Land, the small portion she could actually remember in relation to the years spent there, not once could she recall every seeing Galion before he'd come to check on her after her mad dash to Henry's chamber.

For the first time since this whole ordeal began, Regina acknowledged the distinct possibility that maybe Fairytale Land wasn't real after all.

* * *

Across town, the lithe figure of Alison Cameron sat curled up on her couch watching Saturday morning cartoons. Their mindless humor—truly subpar to that of the classics—was about the only thing that could distract her from the ever-present guilt that had been following her around for nearly a week. Even her runs had lost their effectiveness at clearing her mind after two days and she hadn't ventured out for anything else except work since.

As another day passed without Regina waking, Cameron's nerves frayed a little more. She rarely had cause to question her methods, but that was all she seemed to be doing since the brunette had come under her care.

The ringing of her cell phone carried over the din of oddly colored kids doing gods know what and she quickly snatched it up without bothering to check the caller ID. None of her friends would call her before noon on the weekend, so that only left one option… work.

"Cameron," she answered tersely, fully expecting to hear the same phrase she'd heard for that last five days, 'No change'.

Sinking back into the sofa, she listened as the woman on the other end of the line informed her that Regina had awoken a couple of hours ago, was lucid, and didn't seem to be suffering from any memory loss or other ill effects from her time spent unconscious.

"So Wyatt ran blood work again, right? ... And they're clear? ... Excellent! Thank you so much for calling Maddy," she enthused. "Send my love to Spencer and tell Jen I appreciate her double-checking the tests before releasing Re… Ms. Mills for me. …. Thanks again. Bye."

Palpable relief spread through her body at the good news, alleviating the tension in her shoulders and the knot in her stomach. She felt lighter than she had in quite a while, long before Regina even entered her life in fact.

Unwilling to waste this buoyant happiness, she decided to go for a run before returning to tackle the chores she'd been neglecting all week. Even the thought of tedious cleaning couldn't bring her down when she realized she'd be able to see Regina with her own two eyes again in just two days' time.

* * *

**A/N: **Yay! Two chapters in two weeks. I think (fingers crossed) that my writer's block has finally abated. One can only hope. I realize the chapters have been short with not a whole helluva lot going on, but they are important. It's basically build up to the next chapter that should prove to be a little more intense with more revealing stuff going on. Unless I think of more filler to drag it out, but that would just be cruel and I would _never _do something like that :D Thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter. If it's a significant comment, *cough* Grumbello *cough*, I usually reply and if I haven't... My bad. I got kinda distracted this week with stuff but I will be getting around to that though. Cause I really do appreciate all your comments and want to make sure you guys know that. I also appreciate when people favorite/follow me or any of my stories. Makes me feel special! So thanks for that too! Hope you have an excellent day/night/week. Luv you all!


	16. Chapter 16

**Warnings:** Suggestive language, harsh cursing, implied child abuse (nothing graphic), and hints (but no real spoilers) for ep 2x09, Queen of Hearts. Also, so there's no confusion, _italicized _section go together with other _italicized _sections.

* * *

_Water dripping off pitch-black walls rang counterpoint to the sharp click of stilettoed boots upon the equally dark stone floor as Regina patiently paced around the edge of the barren, circular chamber. The sickly sunlight streaming through the lone, barred window set high above provided the sole source of illumination by which she watched for any sign that the unconscious woman sitting in the center of the room was finally stirring._

_A low groan sounded in the near-silence and Regina spun neatly on the balls of her feet, coming to a stop just to the right of the slumped figure. The bent head of once neatly pinned curls slowly rose until it met the solid form of the high-backed, wooden chair with a muted thud. Deep, ragged breaths passed noisily between bright red lips as heavily painted eyelids fluttered open, revealing hazy amber eyes that squinted against the dim lighting. _

"Absolutely not!" the elder brunette yelled as she agitatedly paced around the living room. "No daughter of mine is going to move out to that state filled with nothing but queers to pursue an _art _career when she's a semester away from a master's degree in finance and has major corporations already dropping six-figure offers. I forbid it - so just get that silly notion out of your mind and concentrate on finishing school and keeping a guy around long enough to marry you."

"I have no interested in finance nor am I looking for a husband," Regina countered from the couch, her voice taking on the loathsomely child-like tone reserved only for interactions with her overbearing mother.

"Well, you don't want to wait too long on that, dear," Cora said as she came to a stop near the fireplace. "You aren't getting any younger."

"I'm twenty-three!" Regina squeaked in indignation.

_As the potion-induced fog wore off, the other woman roused further, shifting in her seat and uncomprehendingly taking in the space she now found herself. A deep sense of satisfaction coursed through Regina's veins when the fidgeting form immediately stilled when met with the sturdy bands restraining her hands and feet._

"_So glad you could finally join me," Regina purred in false gentility. "After all, I went through quite a bit of trouble to make sure everything would meet your exacting standards."_

"_What is the meaning of this? I demand you release me this very instant," the woman growled in outrage as Regina stepped forward from the shadows. _

_Piercing eyes glared threateningly across the short distance separating them. Regina happily noted that while that look would have once sent her cowering into the nearest corner in a desperate attempt to escape the promised wrath, it no held the same power that it once had. She was in control now and she planned to relish in her victory while she could._

"You'll be twenty-four in a few months and do you have any idea how many of my friends' daughters are already married with children and several of them are younger than you."

"It's my life and I'll do with it as I please," Regina stated, proud when her voice wavering only slightly.

The older woman laughed condescendingly, "Wrong. It's mine. _I_ brought you into this world. _I_ made sure you went to the best schools money could buy and signed you up for all the proper sports and extracurricular activities to ensure that no Ivy League university in their right mind would turn you down. _I_ spent years making and maintaining connections with the most influential families around so that you'd have a choice of eligible bachelors when the time came. Now you want to throw away all that work, all _my _hard work, to sit on the beach and finger paint? I don't think so."

"I'm not asking," she declared, firmer this time. Her ire was growing with each exchange, replacing the ever-present fear and lending a level of courage and determination she'd never felt before. "I am an adult capable of making my own choices…"

"Like your oh-so-excellent choice in Daniel?" the older woman mocked.

"_My deepest apologies, Mother," she said, contempt coating every syllable so there was no doubt that she was not sorry in the least. "Are these accommodations not to your liking? Are the restraints too _tight_?" she sneered, fist clenching to tighten them further. _

_A satisfied smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth as Cora winced in pain, the constricting bands digging into her pale flesh and drawing a fine line of blood that oozed from the beneath the restraints where it fell unnoticed to the floor below. _

"_I don't know what you think you're playing at," the older woman snarled, "but you cannot hope to hold me here forever, child. As strong as you believe yourself to be, I am stronger and you will pay for this impertinence in time."_

"_Oh, this won't take long," Regina reassured as she once again began to circle around the bound form of her mother. "After all, I'm not so heartless as to leave someone so weak and defenseless down here to rot in the dark and cold for days on end while going on about my life without a second thought. No, that seems to be something to which only you are capable."_

"_Evidently, those lessons on obedience and respect bear repeating. Something you can be certain I intend to rectify as soon as I'm released."_

Regina's heart stung at the mention of the man that had been her first hope of escape as she ground out from behind clenched teeth, "As I recall, _Mother_, you were the one that made sure he'd never again set foot in this city."

"He wasn't good enough for you," Cora casually dismissed, brushing her fingers through the non-existent layer of dust coating the mantel.

"He was salutatorian of his graduating class from Northwestern. How, in your warped point of view, is that not good enough for me?" the younger woman asked in utter disbelief.

"He was there on scholarship and majored in history of all things. How could I expect him to ever take proper care of you on a teacher's salary?"

"I don't need money or influence. That's what _you _want. All I want out of life is to be happy with the person I love. Nothing else matters."

"Love?" her mother scoffed. "You didn't love him."

"_You know," Regina continued, ignoring the not-so-idle threat as if the older woman had never spoken. "A woman as ambitious as yourself is sure to have made several enemies over the years. One would only think it prudent to have somebody test your food before you eat. There's no telling what a person might… slip into it."_

"_Surly you could come up with something more original than poisoning your own mother," Cora laughed in her familiar, breathily derisive way. _

"_Oh no," Regina stopped and leaned down until her face was mere inches away from her mother's, their eyes locked in a battle of wills. _

"_Poison would have been too kind- far too swift and impersonal. It's been a few years since I've had the pleasure of your company; I really must remember to thank Hook for arraigning this little tête-à-tête. The man really is a dear when properly motivated, wouldn't you agree? He even brought me a little present, but we'll get to that shortly," she waved dismissively as she stood back up, never breaking eye contact. _

"_It really shouldn't come as a shock to me that you have taken no more notice of my progress in the magical arts than you did with my riding. Otherwise, you'd have known that I have become quite adept at mixing potions. My proudest invention has been in devising a concoction that strips away all magical powers. It's odorless, tasteless, and its effects will last for several hours with even the most powerful of sorcerers. I tested it on Rumple myself. That made for a very entertaining evening. With you… it would last for days. You're more than welcome to test it for yourself," she offered, spotting the older woman's skeptical expression._

"I loved what he represented; a friend, someone who cared about me, who could take me far away from _you_ and the hell you've put me through. It may not have been the grand, fairytale romance that most girls dream of, but it was enough. It was something we could have built on, but you took one look at his lack of pedigree and summarily dismissed him from _my _life."

"Just proves my point, dear," Cora said, unaffected by the younger woman's accusations or her rising anger. "If he were worthy of your affections, then he wouldn't have been so easily scared off. Now, Selena Collins' oldest son, Brad, would make an excellent match for you. He recently split up with his fiancé and is finishing his internship at John Hopkins next month. He also happens to be in town this weekend, so I invited them over for dinner tonight. Do try to at least look presentable, won't you?"

"Goddamn it, Mother! I'm tired of you meddling in my life. When are you going to just leave me the fuck alone already?!" Regina all but roared, her breaking point finally reached as years of suppressed rage finally bubbled up from the depths of her soul. "It's not my fault that you got saddled with a husband and kid that you didn't want, but now you're trying to force the kind of life you so clearly didn't want on me and I won't do it. I'm done; done with you and your fucked up idea of love. Had you left when you had the chance, maybe you wouldn't have turned into such a frigid _cunt_."

The two women stood in shock at the pure vehemence behind the words. Never had Regina spoken to her mother in such a way before, always too afraid to face the older woman's wrath if she even so much as breathed funny. For the first time in her life, Regina was no longer scared and she'd make damn sure she made the most of this feeling.

_With a small twist of her hand, the bindings around Cora's wrists and ankles disappeared. The older woman immediately jumped to her feet, hands flailing through the air in an elaborate flourish that Regina assumed was meant to turn her into an insect or some other easily squashed form. _

"_Does it meet with your approval, Mother?" she goaded when nothing happened after another failed attempt._

_Interlacing her gloved fingers over her corseted stomach, Cora drew herself up as regally possible despite her disheveled state and firmly planted a mask of indifference across her aging features. A trick, Regina had learned, to wrest control of an uncertain situation from an unwitting opponent. _

_Regina was no ignorant fool, however, and could clearly see the cracks showing through the façade; rising fury colored the older woman's cheeks, a hint of fear flashed from normally cool eyes, and her carefully modulated tones quivered ever so slightly as she spoke. _

"_This insolent woman I see before me is no daughter of mine," her mother all but spat, "Now, if you are through with this little temper tantrum, I demand you free me from this deplorable chamber." _

A sharp _smack_ sounded in the silence and the brunette distantly registered a slight burning across her right cheek as something warm ran along her jaw.

"Such an ungrateful little bitch you've turned out to be," Cora growled, chest heaving with every angry exhalation. "Your father and I had _nothing_ when we got married and it's only thanks to me that you grew up surrounded by the luxuries that you are so accustomed to. You can't even begin to comprehend the sacrifices I had to make, the deals I had to broker to get us to this point. Now you throw it all back in my face for some pipe dream of being an artist and marrying for _love_. Of all the ridiculous ideas you've come up with in your pathetic, little life, this definitely takes the prize. I will not allow it and, clearly, you need reminding just who is in charge here."

Her mom reared back again, but Regina was ready this time. Snatching the thin, leather belt as it flew through the air, she yanked it from Cora's grip and threw it across the room.

"_You are correct; I am no longer the sweet, naïve girl you brought into this world," Regina stalked forward __-__ letting all her anger, resentment, and pain shine through her dark brown eyes towards the one person who'd been the source of it all— glorying at every retreating step the older woman took. "She died the day you crushed her true love's heart," Cora's back hit the slick wall, "and her coffin sealed when you forced her to marry a man she did not love," Regina towered over her cowering form, "all for the sake of appearances. Never doubt, however," a dexterous hand plunged into her chest, "that I am very much your creation, _Mother_," and pulled out a still-beating heart._

_Regina watched with cold indifference as amber eyes widened in shock. "Hook really does give the best presents," she mused as Cora fell to her knees, struggling for every breath while long, powerful fingers slowly crushed her pulsing life force to dust._

"Enough! I've lived with your scathing words and physical abuse for too long now and I won't take it anymore," she asserted as she advanced on the older woman who was quick to retreat in the face of her fury.

Stumbling blindly backwards, Cora's foot caught the leg of the coffee table. Amber eyes widened in shock and locked with deep brown as time slowed. A sickening crack resounded through the silent room, then all was still once more.

Regina watched in an uncomprehending daze as blood dripped off the glass edge of the table into the ever-growing pool staining the pale carpet beneath her mother's motionless body.

* * *

Weaving her way through the multitude of bodies crowding the beach, Regina allowed the cool breeze and gently rolling waves of the Pacific to sooth her frazzled nerves. Her first opening two nights prior had been met with rave reviews from art collectors and critics alike. Nearly half of her collection had sold already and her agent assured her that interest in her pieces would only grow over the following weeks.

It'd been a rough year and a half since her move from Chicago, but she felt as if things were finally working out in her favor. With any luck, and a few more successful showings, she'd be able to quit her job at CFA within the year and be done with the financial industry for good. Being a 'starving artist' was not a cliché she was willing to indulge, so until she was more established within the community, she'd just have to suffer through.

Snatching a spot of prime real estate – close to the water, but above the rising tide line, and no one within a ten-foot radius – that a family of four had just abandoned, Regina pushed aside her heavy thoughts and quickly spread the blanket she'd brought along to lay claim to the sandy turf before anyone else could. Satisfied that her spot was secured, she dropped her bag of supplies and a small cooler onto the cloth so it wouldn't fly away before jamming the pole of a large beach umbrella into the sand and opening it up.

Once she was laid out beneath the protective shade, she removed the colorful sarong that hid the bottom half of her black bikini and folded it neatly before placing it in the bag where she dug out the novel she'd been trying to work through for the last three months. Rolling onto her stomach, she lost herself in the sea of words as Kay Scarpetta tried to solve yet another mysterious death.

An intriguing clue had just been revealed, one that had the potential to crack the case wide open and, as Scarpetta paced the length of her office puzzling it all out, an icy cascade ran down the length of Regina's spine. Squealing in surprised indignation as the unexpected chill met her fevered flesh, the brunette yanked off her sunglasses and spun around to face the impertinent ass responsible.

Her cutting glare and the caustic diatribe that sat ready at the tip of her tongue died a swift death, however, when met with sparkling green eyes set in the cherubic face of a young boy. A mop of mousey brown hair peeked out from under a light blue bucket-hat that matched the swim trunks covering his pudgy legs. Light freckles dotted across the toddler's nose and wide, chubby cheeks where a mischievous smile sat poorly hidden behind one tiny hand while the other held a bright red pail in its grasp.

Her ire instantly melted at the adorable sight of the boy giggling infectiously before her and Regina wouldn't have been able to stop her own answering smile even if she'd wanted to.

"Henry!" the sharp reprimand sounded from her right, causing Regina and the boy to jump at the sudden harshness.

"I am so sorry," a young blonde woman apologized as she dropped to her knees next to Regina and pulled the boy into her arms. "I only looked away for a second to find the sunblock and he vanished. Kid's like Houdini, I swear," she mumbled the last part, but she was close enough that Regina easily heard it.

"It's fine, really," the brunette turned to face the other woman to prove she really wasn't angry. She didn't want Henry to get in trouble for just being a kid. "He was only…" brown eyes locked with jade green and it felt like someone had landed a sucker punch to her stomach, "having some fun," Regina trailed off.

Unable to tear herself away from the mesmerizing gaze that held her own, Regina absently took in the golden curls that had escaped the low ponytail to frame the porcelain skin of high cheekbones that held a faint smattering of freckles and a strong jaw softened only slightly by her youth. The woman couldn't be older than twenty, but held herself with a confidence that belied her age. A near-silent gasp threatened to escape the brunette's gaping mouth when a flash of pink tongue swiped across the woman's full bottom lip.

"Mommy?" Henry luckily interrupted before Regina could embarrass herself completely.

"Yes, baby?" the blonde said, slowly dragging her eyes from Regina's.

With their gaze broken, the brunette finally felt like she could breathe again and gratefully took a deep, shuddering breath into her starved lungs. Now if only she could figure out a way to calm her racing heart that insisted on beating triple time.

"Will you help me with my sandcastle?" the boy asked.

"Sure, sweetheart," the younger woman replied easily enough, either ignoring or not seeing the boy's sly grin that instantly had Regina weary of his motives for asking.

"Her too," he said, pointing a small finger towards her.

"Uh…" the blonde hesitated, shooting a fleeting look at Regina before turning back to her son, "I'm sure this nice lady would love to, honey, but she looks pretty busy to me. Maybe next time, okay?"

A slight pang of regret caused Regina's pounding heart to skip a beat as the young woman started to stand. She'd never made friends easily, not even as a child. Daniel had been a complete fluke and, even then, they'd only been together because he'd relentlessly pursued her until she finally conceded. Never before had she been drawn to someone the way she was with the cute, little boy and his lovely mother and she couldn't help but think that if she'd passed up this opportunity, she'd be missing out on something special.

_Wait… Lovely? _

Shaking herself from that bizarre thought, Regina turned to the toddler to find tears pooling at the corners of his green eyes. Jumping in before they could spill she said, "Actually, Henry, I've never really built a sandcastle before. I probably won't be any good, but if it's okay with your mom, maybe you can teach me how."

Regina's shoulders dropped in relief at the brilliant, toothy smile that broke out across his face as he nodded enthusiastically at her suggestion.

"Pwease, mommy?" he asked with the most adorable puppy eyes the brunette had ever seen.

There was no doubt in her mind that if such an expression were ever aimed her direction, she'd be unable to deny the boy whatever he asked. It seemed that his mother wasn't immune either, because after a quick look to judge her sincerity, the younger woman easily relented.

"Alright, Henry, your new friend and I will help you. Run over to our blanket and get your other bucket and shovel," she said and they both watched as he happily scurried across the sand to get his things.

"Uhh… My name is Emma, by the way," the blonde whispered shyly, catching her eye for a second before turning back to keep track of her son.

"Regina," she whispered, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

* * *

"Come on, Henry. We're going to be late."

"Yes, mom," the young man's beleaguered sigh echoed down the stairs.

"You too, Emma," she called down the first floor hallway to the master bedroom.

"Yes, dear," came the response and Regina rolled her eyes at the mirrored inflections of mother and son.

"We have plenty of time, 'Gina. It doesn't start for another hour and we'll be out of here in five minutes, so keep your skirt on," Emma said as she rounded the corner putting in the teardrop diamond earrings that matched the necklace resting against the pale expanse of skin exposed by the Versace sweetheart, strapless red dress.

"Or not," she rasped, drawing near the brunette.

Green eyes blazed a searing trail over Regina's body as the blonde took in the black Channel dress and matching Christian Louboutin heels.

A burning hunger settled low in Regina's belly and it took every ounce of will power she possessed to restrain herself from dragging her lover back to their bedroom and shutting out the rest of the world for the foreseeable future.

An answering echo of desire flared up in Emma's eyes as she whispered, "Be good."

"I'll behave…" the brunette growled, a feral grin settling across her burgundy lips, "for now, but you are all mine later."

"Promises, promises," Emma teased, wrapping her arms around Regina's neck and bringing their bodies flush together.

"I'm so incredibly proud of you. You know that, right?" the blonde asked as she rested her forehead against Regina's.

"I know," she replied before leaning in and pressing a delicate kiss to the younger woman's lips, mindful of their freshly applied lipstick.

"Oh gross, you guys," Henry moaned from the top of the stairs. "Don't you guys ever turn it off? I'm pretty sure I'm already going to need therapy for the rest of my life, do you really need to keep scarring my psyche this much?"

The two women chuckled, but refused to break their hold on each other. Henry had never been bothered by their displays of affection as a child. Usually when he caught them, he'd insist on being included, turning gentle embraces into group hugs and wiggling his way in between them when they cuddled on the couch. The onset of puberty a few years back had changed his view on such moments, but neither woman was willing to ease up on their affection just to make the teen more comfortable.

"Can't blame me for that, Henry. Your mom is the one that gave birth to you, so any mental instability comes from her… not me."

"Oh, ha ha, 'Gina," Emma deadpanned, stepping out of their embrace and turning to face their son. "Henry grab your coat and go start the car. We'll be right out."

With an annoyed huff, the young man stalked off to do as he was told.

"You think you're so funny, my love," Emma purred as she sauntered to within a hair's breadth of the brunette. "We'll just see who's laughing tonight when I have you writhing on our bed begging me to let you come," she whispered directly into Regina's ear, her warm breath and husky voice sending shivers of desire down the brunette's spine.

A strangled moan escaped her throat at the light nip to her ear and she followed willingly as the blonde lead her out of the house and into the night.

* * *

_Searing pain arced across the bruised and beaten form, drawing the woman from the peaceful depths of blissful oblivion. Raven locks swayed in the gentle, cool breeze blowing across the supine body, leaving the disoriented woman with the sense of gliding down a long tunnel with no idea as to her destination. A faint light pulsing rhythmically over head sent red hot needles through chocolate eyes as they fluttered open, seeking to make sense of the tumultuous noise assaulting her ears. Before anything could be brought into focus, darkness, once again, seeped into the edges of her vision and the muddled sounds faded to static. _

Unmitigated pain was the first sensation to register as she clawed her way out of the murky depths of unconsciousness. Head spinning and nausea rising, Regina sucked in quick, shallow breaths as the world slowly came into focus. Every inch of her body ached, but as her mind began to clear, she could tell that the worst of it originated from her right arm and leg and across her torso.

_Using the last of her will power to shake away the creeping tendrils of unconsciousness, Regina Mills managed to roll over before pushing herself onto her knees. The world titled alarmingly on its axis and bile rose to the back of her throat as the sudden movement sent her mind reeling. Placing a cool hand against her feverish forehead to tamp down the nausea, the brunette could feel the thick, crimson liquid seeping between her delicate fingers as she finally took in the scene playing out around her._

Next, a cacophony of shouting voices, piercing sirens, and grinding metal penetrated the static hiss that had once filled her ears. Blinking furiously, a blur of red and blue flashing lights assaulted her hazy vision, sending a white-hot shard lancing through her skull.

_Smoke and ash clouded the sky as fire poured from the buildings nearby, painting the earth and its occupants with sinister hues of orange and red in the grey twilight. Angry shouts and frantic screams mixed with the sounds of running feet and bodies colliding in battle. Friends became foes and foes quickly became lifeless figures strewn across black asphalt. Gruesome wounds marred the flesh of the men, women, and, to her despair, children that lay all around. Their once vibrant eyes, now murky with death, damned her with their wrath. _

"Ma'am can you hear me?" an unfamiliar voice penetrated the din.

"Emma? ... Henry?" she asked, but even in her delirious state, she could tell it came out as nothing more than a hoarse croak.

"Ma'am, don't move, okay? We're working on getting you and your family out of there now. I just need you to hold tight and talk to me. You need to try to stay with me."

_Blood thrummed in her ears from her pounding heart as she choked back the sobs threatening to escape. With shuddering breaths barely able to feed her starving lungs, the former mayor of the quaint little town of Storybrooke, Maine searched frantically for an explanation. Wide, brown eyes slowly swept the devastated town square until they landed on the lone calm figure amongst all the chaos._

Another wave of nausea gripped her as she turned her head to the passenger side of the car, ignoring the paramedic outside her window in order to check on her family. Amongst the twisted, mangled metal was a flash of gold and red.

_Emma, _she sobbed.

The younger woman was slumped to her left, her head only a couple of inches from Regina's. Crimson blood matted her corn-silk locks as it trickled in a steady stream from a long gash across the right side of her face. Her once porcelain skin was now swollen in varying hues of purple, green, and yellow. A barely audible wheezing came with each breath Emma took and relief flooded Regina's body at the sound.

Emma was still alive.

_Golden curls framed a pale face streaked with dirt, sweat, and blood. Light, pink lips were set in a grim line of determination mirrored by glinting green eyes. Blood oozed from a long, thin gash across the younger woman's flat stomach and from a shorter one on her left shoulder, dying the tattered white tank top she wore scarlet. The flimsy shirt and ripped jeans offered little protection to the blonde should anyone decide to attack her, but it seemed that Emma Swan was the center of this raging hurricane and she only had eyes for the still kneeling brunette. _

Craning her neck as much as she could until the pain became too much to bear, Regina sought slightly taller frame of their son. From the little that she could see, his condition appeared to be as severe as his mother's. Blood ran down his still form from several smaller wounds across his face and neck, staining his white dress shirt scarlet. His fair skin was paler than usual under the bruising and Regina couldn't see the telltale rise and fall of his broad chest.

_No… HENRY!_

_A flash of silver caught Regina's attention as the Sheriff stalked a deliberate path towards her. Unable to flee and unwilling to fight, brown eyes welled with tears as she resigned herself to whatever fate lay at the tip of Emma's sword. All too soon, yet an eternity later, the blonde stood before the fallen queen and raised gleaming steal high above her head. Regina found no remorse or sympathy looking down on her as the sword's wicked edge sliced through the air. A brilliant, white light filled her vision and the last thing Regina Mills saw before she died was the smiling face of one Emma Swan._

With fumbling hands and an uncooperative body, Regina struggled to free herself from the confines of her seatbelt. Large hands clamped down around her flailing arms as she frantically fought to get to her son. The unintelligible shouting around her grew louder and, as the pain in her body reached its apex, blackness once again began to cloud her vision. The last thing Regina Mills saw before she succumbed to dark oblivion were the smiling faces of Emma Swan and Henry Swan-Mills.

* * *

"_Shhh… Regina, I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere, but I need you to come back to me. Just open those beautiful brown eyes and wake up."_

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I hope that wasn't too hard to follow and you all got what I was going for. If there's confusion around what that was all about, well... you'll just have to wait until the next chapter to find out ;) I had this chapter practically written, when this idea popped into my head pretty much the day before I was gonna really write it all out and clean it up. Hopefully, the 5,000 words I just gave you all makes up for it. lol. I'm also hoping this means I'll be able to fit another chapter in this week, since it's practically written already. Fingers crossed! Thanks to everyone who has commented/favorited/followed this story. I'm truly amazed how many people have and more are added every week. You guys are really the best! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are gearing up for the end. Each post brings us closer and closer. Though I have no clue how many are left cause with every chapter I write I add, take away, and move so much around it's hard to tell. My aim is 20 minimum though, just cause that'll be my longest story to date and a nice even number to aim for. Thanks again. Luv you guys!_  
_

**A/N2: **Almost forgot! This chapter goes really well with Lana del Rey's _Dark Paradise._Unlike most of my fics, this song didn't inspire the story, I just Love this song and it really does fit the overall story, but if I were one to name individual chapters, this one would be called Dark Paradise. Check out the song if you haven't, it's pretty amazing


	17. Chapter 17

**A few strong curse words and some vague mentions of child abuse (just in case, but it's nothing graphic - never graphic).**

* * *

_*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*_

The sudden clamor of a blaring alarm clock shattered the early morning silence on yet another dreaded Monday. Virtually immune to its incessant screeching, Cameron remained buried beneath a mass of blankets and pillows as a lone, bare arm reached across the empty space and smacked it into submission – for another nine minutes at least.

Ever since she'd gotten the call mid-Saturday morning that Regina had awoken, she'd wavered between racing to the hospital just to make sure the other woman truly was conscious and waiting until she went into work – and therefore had a legitimate reason to act on her concern. Common sense had prevailed, however.

Well… not really.

Fear had actually halted her feet mid-stride as she rushed for the door immediately after hanging up with Maddy. Her sheer relief at Regina's recovery, she was sure, was written all over her face. Hiding even the smallest flux of emotions was a daily struggle, but with pure elation thrumming through her veins, her attraction towards her raven-haired patient would be plain for all to see – including the woman herself.

That alone was enough to cause her hesitation and as reason took a stronger hold, she remembered what she'd written in the other woman's journal. Even if Regina was completely incapable of reading her expressions, the words she'd put to paper would leave little doubt as to her intentions. While it was unlikely that the brunette had seen them so soon after waking – she had planted them towards the back of the notebook for a reason after all – just the possibility of discovery was enough to turn Cameron back around and firmly plant her ass on the couch for the rest of the morning.

Anticipation and apprehension had warred within her agitated mind, creating a swarm of butterflies that fluttered through her stomach one moment only to drop like stones the next. In a futile attempt at distraction, she'd filled the daylight hours with a multitude of errands and had cleaned her apartment until it shined – though it'd done her little good – but at night, she'd been unable to ignore these vacillating emotions.

Two nights of restless tossing and turning had left her completely exhausted, but as the alarm cried out for a second time, she reluctantly clambered out of bed to start her day. Goose bumps prickled her exposed limbs as cool air met her sleep-warmed skin. Shivering slightly, she made her way barefoot to the kitchen for a much needed caffeine jolt, rubbing the haze from her eyes as she slumped onto a nearby bar stool.

Now that the day had finally arrived, an unexpected calmness settled around her and going to work no longer seemed quite so terrifying. What would come would come no matter what and she refused to waste any more energy trying to predict what would happen when she finally laid eyes on Regina. It was unfortunate that she hadn't been able to reach this conclusion a couple of days ago – maybe she wouldn't feel like death warmed over if she had.

What had come, was a packed train ride on the green line followed by a short walk under heavy, grey clouds as a frigid, blustery wind gusted between buildings and cut through even the thickest of layers.

A quick call to the charge nurse on ward three, after she entered the office and quickly shucked her coat and bag, assured her that Regina had returned to her room and seemed to be faring well enough after her ordeal. Cameron sighed silently in relief and told the other woman to bring the brunette in at her normal appointment time before she rushed off to the weekly staff meeting – three minutes early, a new record.

Once she was able to settle behind her desk for good, the rest of the morning flew by in a whirl of paperwork and patients. If not for Angelique's kindness, lunch would have definitely come and gone without Cameron ever noticing.

Finally, at one o'clock sharp, the knock she'd been anticipating all day – but studiously avoided thinking about – sounded throughout her quiet office. She issued forth a firm "Come in" that squeaked a bit more than she'd intended.

Her first glimpse at the normally poised woman after nearly three days, left her completely gutted. Formerly piercing brown eyes lay blood-shot and hollow behind limp, greasy locks of dull brown hair while visible tear tracks ran over dark circles and down drawn, pale cheeks. Long arms wrapped protectively across the Cal Tech sweatshirt enveloping her torso, but despite the warm covering, Cameron clearly spotted her constant shivering.

Any and all selfishly-happy feelings she'd had before were now gone as an overwhelming urge to pull Regina into her arms and shelter her from the rest of the world stole through her. Knowing such an advance – along with any other sign of compassion or pity – would be ill received by the strong, independent woman, Cameron schooled her features into a bland mask of professionalism and greeted Regina as she normally would and prayed the woman before her was not as broken as she appeared.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Mills."

"Doctor," came the raspy reply.

Cameron ignored the jolt to her heart at the dispirited tone as Regina took a seat, one leg curled beneath her and the other held tightly to her chest, the sock-clad foot resting on the edge of the chair.

Long moments passed in silence and neither woman moved.

For her part, Cameron had no idea where to begin. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind as the minutes ticked past and while blunt questions and straightforward dialogue had always been the best when dealing with a willful Regina, she could not bring herself to be so callous this time. It was clear the older brunette was still processing the shattering information Cameron had imparted the previous Monday.

Consequently, she resolved herself to hold her tongue and waited silently as Regina starred vacantly across the room, her face turned away as if to shield herself from the young doctor as much as possible in the confined space.

Another span of indeterminable time lapsed.

"I remember how my mother died," Regina stated apropos of nothing, almost as if she were speaking to herself.

"I-I'm sorry?" Cameron stammered, caught off guard by the unexpected comment and unsure if she'd heard the soft voice correctly.

"My mother," the brunette repeated, brown eyes meeting green for the first time since she'd entered before flicking away again. "Actually it's not just her. I remember both of my lives. Well… parts of them anyways."

"Both?" Cameron asked, immediately aware of the significance such a statement entailed, but carefully maintained her placid façade despite her rising hope that Regina had finally experienced the breakthrough she needed in order to heal.

"Yes," the brunette nodded slowly, eyes still affixed into empty space, "the real one, and the one I'd… invented to escape my mother's abuse. It really shouldn't surprise me that they parallel to the extent they do. I'm not half bad at painting and drawing – or so people have told me – but I was never really any good at story telling. That was always more Emma's thing."

Cameron's heart clenched at the mention of Emma, not out of jealousy – she would never want to take away the love and joy Regina experienced with Emma and Henry – but because of the pain that radiated from the older woman's troubled eyes and the quiver in her husky voice as she said her name.

"I still hear her sometimes, even when I'm awake," she confessed, her hushed tones barely carrying across the short distance separating them. To Cameron it might as well have been the Grand Canyon for all the good it did her. "I'd originally assumed she was calling to me in as I slept in Fairytale Land, trying to wake me or comfort my nightmares… this nightmare." She shook her head, "Turns out, I really am crazy after all."

"No," Cameron countered with conviction, pulling Regina from whatever plane of existence she'd been wandering through as she spoke. "I've said it before and I meant it then as much as I mean it now – you are _not_ crazy."

Dark eyes widened in surprise at the intensity behind her words, their gazes fully locked for the first time since the brunette had entered, and Cameron reminded herself to rein it back a bit and keep them on track.

"Please believe me when I say that working through your most recent sorrow is not insignificant, but I feel that we should start with your mother – the self-professed reason behind the world you created – and work forward from there. By learning to deal with that past pain and put it into proper perspective, it should allow you to grieve all your losses naturally without the added shelter of your fairytale land."

Eye contact was broken as Regina, yet again, focused on the middle distance. Glassy, brown orbs danced around the room, never settling on any one object, as the brunette obviously debated whether or not to confide further in the doctor. Compared to their previous sessions – where Cameron had been the one providing the forgotten details in an effort to jog the older woman's memory – Regina had already volunteered a wealth of knowledge about her past and current suffering and Cameron would not push her further than she was willing to go… not today.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin," Regina sighed, decision made.

"Just tell me what you remember about her," Cameron prompted gently as if speaking too loudly or too fervently would scare the other woman silent once more.

"Which version would you care to hear about first?"

"Either, both… whichever one you choose is fine," the younger woman reassured.

With a deep, shuddering breath, the brunette began her story.

"There's one thing you must know about my mother in order to understand her; she _always_ cared more about advancing the family name than Daddy's happiness and mine, especially. We were merely tools, trophies she utilized to gain affluence and prestige in order to impress her circle of pretentious, busybody friends.

She decided nearly every aspect of our lives with little or no input from us. Daddy changed careers and took up golf in order to satisfy her ideal of what he should be. I got a master's in finance from North Western, because she was adamant that I'd never make a living painting and how could I argue when she was the one paying? Believe me when I say, that was something she never let me forget.

If controlling my future career weren't bad enough, she also took it upon herself to dictate those I saw socially. Friends were dismissed if they didn't meet her rigid criteria and she chased away the man I'd set on marrying because he wasn't from the right family. Then there was the time, not long after I'd turned eighteen, that she tried to convince me to wed some wealthy man thirty years my senior because he was a prominent lawyer in town and rumor had it that he was looking for a new wife.

Luckily, my father stepped in before that happened – the one time he actually stopped a plan from the beginning as opposed to picking up whatever pieces of me that were left when it was over. As grateful as I was for his support, I believe it was only because I was of age, and therefore no longer legally under her control, that she didn't force me to go through with it despite our protestations. The risk of scandal was too high even for her.

Things in Fairytale Land were very much the same and yet, remarkably worse. It seems even in my imagination she was an exceptionally cruel woman, more so perhaps, because she could use magic against me; restrain me with vines or ropes, lash me with conjured whips, use me as a guinea pig for her potions, crush the beating heart of my first love to dust with just her hands.

There, I was forced to marry the man because he was king and there was no way mother would ever turn down a chance at being part of a royal family. You would think," Regina laughed humorlessly as a wayward tear tracked down one cheek, "that a world of my own design would be a happy place for me, yet it never was."

"Why do you think that was?" Cameron asked, thankful that Regina was too preoccupied with her own thoughts to catch the noticeable hitch in her voice. The more the older woman revealed, the harder it was for Cameron to remain silent and maintain the pretense of impartiality.

"Because I didn't know how _to be _happy," the brunette answered, emotion tingeing her words. "Being told day in and day out that you're worthless/insignificant/useless/unimportant, etcetera, tends to fuck with one's head and I didn't know life could be any other way. The difference, though, is that in my illusionary world I eventually possessed powerful magic that allowed me to bend others to my will and exact revenge on all those – including my _dear_ mother – that'd wronged me or had stood by and watched my suffering without ever bothering to help. Here, in this world," she waved one hand vaguely through the air, "there was no hope for escape until my mother died and I was finally free to live my life the way I wanted."

"How do Henry and Emma come to play in this? Did you still maintain the fantasy world during all those years with them?" Cameron asked curiously. It was the one question that had been at the forefront of her mind since learning that the young mother and son were not, in fact, figments of Regina's imagination.

"No," the brunette shook her head. "They were the ones that taught me how to love, how to be happy. They were my salvation and the life I'd never been able to imagine before. I didn't need to escape anymore because they _were _my escape. Lo-losing them just brought it all back stronger than before. I can remember scattered hours of lucidity here and there, but mostly I stayed with them in my mind – put them in the world I'd created to keep them safe always. It was the only way I knew to cope."

"And now that you know, that you're finally present in this world with all its pain and heartache, do you think you'll be able to stay here" _with me _"and deal with it?"

"I wish I could say for sure," Regina replied, running her hands through dirty, raven locks, "but I don't really believe I have much of choice at this point."

Cameron's confusion must have been evident, because Regina clarified, "It's been a long forty-eight hours, Doctor. I haven't slept much and what little I was able to get was filled with memories from both worlds bombarding my subconscious. You may not recognize the significance of that statement," and she really didn't, "but not one single night has passed since I've been in this hospital or even the past year, really, where I have not returned to Emma and Henry in my dreams."

True understanding dawned. When Regina had mentioned remembering both of her lives at the beginning of their session, hope had taken hold of Cameron and blinded her to all that this breakthrough entailed. In the span of two short days, Regina's _entire_ existence had come crashing down around her for a second time and she'd been left to deal with it alone yet again.

The guilt Cameron had thought she'd gotten over with the news of Regina's recovery came rushing back at the realization that her little newspaper stunt was the cause of the older woman's current misery. It didn't matter that it had achieved the desired results; her plan to gradually ease the brunette back into reality was destroyed by one moment's thoughtlessness and it was Regina who had suffered the consequences.

"It was actually seeing one of your new orderlies that did it," Regina continued, unknowingly twisting the knife deeper. "He took on the role of my guard captain in Fairytale Land — he was rather adept at it, too. Recognizing him made me finally _see _what was here and in the faces surrounding me I saw my maids, cooks, soldiers—people that had not populated my world until a few short weeks ago. Before, it had always just been Emma, Henry, and I. That others existed was implied, but they were never seen."

Haunted brown eyes met hers once more as she dispassionately spoke, "I suppose congratulations are in order, Doctor Cameron. It seems as if you've finally cured me."

Looking at the shattered form of the previously strong-willed, confident woman sitting before her, Cameron doubted she'd done Regina any favors by taking away the one thing that had made her happy.

_Maybe sometimes it is better to live in a fantasy world._

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the small delay but at least it was only two days this time! That being said, there probably won't be an update this coming week, but I have a really good excuse! I'm hoping to submit a SwanQueen piece to ralst on P&P for her Valentine's Day Challenge. Deadline is the 12th though, so I may miss it. If I do, I'll still post it there and here (which I'll do anyways once it's up on the P&P site). So even though you won't be able to read this story, at least you'll have something to make up for it and hold you over until I get the next chapter done. It will also contain far less angst (though there will be a little) and a _lot _more fluff. It wouldn't be a true Valentine's Day without a little of both. lol. Thanks, as always, for reading/commenting/following. Those emails make my day (especially when I'm suffering at work) and I can only hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it!


	18. Chapter 18

**Trigger warning, but as usual it's nothing too graphic. Double lines signify a time jump. The first one from present to past. The second past to present. (Didn't want to have such a long section in _italics _like I'd normally do so I hope it makes sense.) A/N at end will explain my long absence to those who are curious. Enjoy!**

* * *

Searing pain radiating from the center of her being yanked Regina from the peaceful depths of a blissful nothingness as retching coughs rattled her frail frame. Collapsing wearily onto a surprisingly soft surface, chocolate eyes fluttered open in an effort to make sense of the tumultuous noise assaulting her ears.

Red-hot needles lanced through her skull from the bright lights rhythmically flashing overhead and the cool breeze ruffling her raven locks did little to ease the heat emanating off her flushed skin as she dazedly floated along the edges of consciousness, a sense of déjà vu tickling the back of her addled brain.

As her supine form glided along the blinding tunnel, the cacophonous din slowly coalesced into the distinct sounds of pounding feet, squeaking wheels, and a multitude of shouting voices.

_ "Someone call the OR and tell them we're on our way!"_

"What the hell happened, Cam?!"

_ "Have them prep for gastric lavage and ready a large-bore IV."_

"I don't know, Tammy… Hey! Clear the hall!... She's been giving me the silent treatment again lately so I went to check on her, hoping that she'd be more forthcoming in a place she felt comfortable. When I got to her room, I found her passed out on the bed, foaming at the mouth."

"Was there really no clue she was thinking of doing something like this?"

"No! Other than being a little pale and withdrawn lately, she's been her usual stubborn self in our sessions. I'd have upped her suicide watch if I even thought for a second that this was a possibility…"

"_Grab the ward nurse on duty and have them pull her file… Find out what medications she was on and who administered them."_

"… She's on fifty milligrams sertraline, five of buspirone, and twenty of zolpidem. No complaints of negative side effects and all the nurses' reports say she was taking them as directed… Gods, maybe I should have seen this coming, Tam, but…"

_ "I'm sorry, but you can't be in here."_

"What?! I'm her _doctor_!"

"The nurse is right, Cam. You're too emotional right now and you aren't even certified to operate anymore. Let the surgical staff take care of her now and you can be there when she wakes up."

"NO! This is my fault; I missed the signs and I will not leave her alone like this!"

"_On my count. 1… 2… 3!"_

Regina's world tilted alarmingly when an impact jarred her riotous body and she lost track of the confusing conversation flying over her head as she fought down the bile that threatened at the back of her throat. When she'd finally regained semi-control of her body once more, an indistinct blur of hazy faces was all she was able to make out before someone called out, _"She's coming around. Dan, put her under so we can get started."_

A large hand placed a mask over her mouth and nose and she didn't even have time to offer up a protest before a shrill alarm was shepherding her back into the dark void.

"_We're losing her!"_

* * *

"What the _hell _is this?!" Regina demanded, throwing her journal at the startled woman as she stormed into Cameron's office for their weekly session.

All of the hope, fear, excitement, guilt, and anxiety that had warred for dominance within the brunette vented as volcanic anger aimed at their sole cause. She drew a small amount of satisfaction as fair skin paled and green eyes widened in apparent apprehension as they took in the seemingly innocuous object lying on the desk between them.

"Doctor Cameron," she snapped when the younger woman offered up nothing more than her best guppy impression for explanation. "Tell me what you mean by this," she slammed her palm down on the open pages, right on the note she'd found over the weekend. There was no doubt in her mind that the younger woman was the author since she and Emma seemed to share the same untidy scrawl as well.

_If all of the days, have no more light,_

_And all of our dreams are lost tonight,_

_The stars can all fall,_

_And everything turn to grey,_

_I will stay._

She thought she knew. Actually, she was fairly confident she knew exactly what the younger woman was trying to convey through the anonymous note, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle the truth either way– hence the current eruption of chaotic emotions. Cameron as a stand-in for Emma in a 'fantasy world' was one thing, but this… attraction as reality was something else entirely.

Tapping her foot impatiently, Regina waited for the fair-haired brunette to say something, anything that would put her world, her life, back on a relatively even keel. Long moments passed in silence as she watched the younger woman visibly gather her courage.

Determination glinted in jade eyes as Cameron's back straightened and her square jaw firmed. "Tell me I'm wrong, Regina," she responded, her expression challenging the brunette to deny everything. "Tell me you don't feel the same and I'll never mention it again."

Regina bristled at the tone – her self-defenses and a bit of self-preservation kicking in. "You are more than aware of the life I've lived; my childhood, Emma and Henry, lo… losing them. That you could possibly care for me in anything more than a professional capacity suggests that maybe you are on the wrong side of the doctor/patient relationship."

"I realize you're scared your past will frighten me away, but, like you said, I already know and yet here I am," Cameron replied adamantly, maintaining eye contact as she rounded her desk and stopped mere inches from Regina. "Whether you believe it or not, you are a good person that deserves nothing but love and I think I could be the one to fill that spot. I am well aware of all that you've lost, but I'm not asking for any declarations or promises of forever. All I'm asking for is a chance, just one chance to explore whatever this is developing between us."

The earnest expression in those familiar green eyes held Regina in a pleading gaze as her mind frantically scrambled to formulate a response. Cameron must have taken her stunned silence for consent and the brunette was powerless to resist when the younger woman raised one hand to gently cradle her face before slowly leaning in to place a chaste, tender kiss against her own yielding lips.

_Please Regina…_

The soft plea spoken in a voice so similar to Emma's snapped Regina back to her harsh reality and a large stone of shame and remorse settled heavily in her stomach. Pushing away a clearly confused Cameron, she could offer no words of comfort or explanation as she bolted out of the room, hoping the younger woman couldn't see the tears streaming down her ashen cheeks.

* * *

Regina stared blankly at the empty page across from Cameron's note as cascading thoughts careened relentlessly through her burdened mind. She gave little heed to the time passing around her – playing out in the ever-shifting shadows that danced along the industrial grey walls of her room – as sporadic snippets of conversation from the afternoon group session floated down the deserted hallway, falling on the deaf ears of the brunette who was only sinking further into herself.

Drawing had always been her release and on the rare occasion the images wouldn't come, words would often flow from the tip of her pencil in a subconscious outpouring of all that was bothering her until things could once again coalesce in her mind's eye.

This time, however, only two words would materialize – playing on repeat – and they didn't do justice to the discordant feelings that were pulling her in so many directions. In some ways, the darkness that had engulfed her after Emma and Henry were gone was much easier to handle than the emotional roller-coaster she currently found herself riding.

Once she'd lived with the anguish long enough, it had become a twisted form of comfort – wrapping around her soul like a blanket and numbing her to everything that existed outside of her own little world of pain. Then, one day, Emma and Henry were back and she never dared to question her good fortune, instead taking it for the gift it was and allowing her reclaimed happiness to wash away the memory of the bleak life she'd only been enduring until that point.

How could she put into words the weeks of renewed grief she'd suffered over losing them a second time that now confusedly mixed with the heart-stopping elation she felt at the remembered touch of Cameron's lips to hers? Was her attraction to Cameron based solely on the fact that she looked so much like Emma? Did she even have the right to feel the smallest amount of happiness so soon after the death of her wife and son? Scarcely a year had passed! Yet, here she was, mooning over some woman she barely knew who just happened to look _exactly _like the love of her life.

For nearly a month – longer if she was completely honest with herself – she'd wrestled with these impossible questions in an attempt to make sense of her conflicting feelings. Her last few sessions with Cameron had been nothing short of completely awkward, the younger woman hiding the sting of her rejection behind a poorly constructed mask of professionalism while Regina reverted to the stoic silence of their early interactions.

Regina knew they should talk about what they were both so avidly avoiding, but every time she resolved to do just that, a fleeting memory of Emma and Henry would flash through her mind or, worse, Emma's voice would whisper gently across her consciousness and her determination would immediately wilt under the oppressive sense of guilt and shame that fueled her rising depression.

The soft utterances had once offered comfort in this bizarre dream until the dream had turned out to be reality. Then those loving words became nothing more than the manifestation of her own insanity and with each passing day the voice was growing louder, more incessant. What had only plagued her sleep before now haunted her every waking hour with unrelenting appeals to "please, come back to me, Regina,"… "Henry and I need you here with us"… "I won't let you leave me like this", an unending loop of supplications that she had no power to answer.

Too much, it had finally become all too much for her. Emma and Henry had always been her strength and without them there, she was no longer able to handle any of it. The guilt – of their demise, her survival, over her mother's death, her love for Cameron – was nearly crippling. She couldn't sleep; she couldn't eat. Seeing Cameron was torture; hearing Emma was a nightmare.

She was broken and despite Cameron's words, Regina knew she wasn't worth loving. Her mother never had, Daniel hadn't enough, and her family had died because of their love for her. Had they cared just a little less they wouldn't have been in the car with her that night, they'd still be alive, and she would have been able to live out the rest of her life in blissful happiness.

Time had come to execute her 'last resort' plan. Originally, she'd believed this scheme would essentially put her to sleep permanently in this realm, ensuring that she would always reside in Fairytale World whether awake or asleep. After weeks of thought and growing misery, she realized it was the only way to guarantee the end to her pain while returning her to the loving arms of her wife and son – she could only pray to whatever gods were listening that she'd find such joy in the afterlife – and protect Cameron from the curse of loving her.

Experience told her she only had about an hour before the effects of the pills kicked in and she'd no longer be coherent enough to write. With the amount she'd stockpiled over the last several months, that time was most likely severely reduced. The minutes were quickly ticking by and she had yet to find a way to properly explain her decision to the one person she was leaving behind that might possibly care – Cameron.

As a recognizable lethargy began to set in, Regina scribbled out the only two words she'd been able to conjure – _**I'm sorry**_ – before the pen slipped from her numb fingers and she slumped boneless on the bed.

A welcomed coldness flowed through her veins, soothing her mind and relaxing her limbs, as a distant knocking sounded through the encroaching fog.

"Regina?" a hesitant voice called out as the door squeaked open.

Bleary eyes opened automatically, despite the nearly irresistible pull on heavy eyelids, and sluggishly meet cautious green as Cameron fully entered, "Can we please talk about this now?"

Regina's exhausted silence must have come across as continued stubbornness because the younger woman all but bit out her next words.

"Regina, you can't avoid me like this forever."

The brunette desperately wanted to catch Cameron's attention so she could be carried into oblivion on a wave shimmering jade, but gave up hope as Cameron began to pace in the small room.

"If you don't return my feelings, that… well it'll suck, but I'm a big girl; I can handle it. But so help me God, if you sit there and lie to me…"

The younger woman spun and their eyes met for a fraction of a second before chocolate orbs rolled to the back of her head and Regina began to convulse as a metallic-tasting foam filled her mouth.

" Regina… Regina…"

_REGINA!_

* * *

When awareness returned once more, the lethargy remained, but the utter blackness came as a surprise. Regina knew Heaven – with its pearly gates and roads paved of gold – was a long shot, but she never thought Hell would be this dark… or this silent. Wasn't Hell supposed to be filled with blinding fire and deafening screams of agony? Maybe the Catholics had been right all along and she was now stuck in Purgatory.

_Although, the pain level is about right for Hell,_ she thought as she tried to move around and stinging lances pierced every inch of her body, drawing a soft moan that echoed in her pounding head.

"Shhh… sweetheart, I'm right here," a familiar, gentle voice cooed as a soothing hand ran across her forehead. Her body instantly relaxed under the cool touch.

_Emma_

Heaven it was, then.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Regina was eager to open her eyes and reunite with her love, but her body felt as if it'd been swimming through drying cement and the haze in her mind refused to clear. Giving into the pulling unconsciousness, she could only hope that if she were in Hell, this wasn't the form her torment would take for all eternity.

* * *

**A/N: **First, as always, I gotta say thanks to all of you have decided to follow/favorite this story. An especially big thanks to those who have read this chapter after my five month hiatus. Next, my friend, Heather, for helping me get back into writing by harassing me non-stop and then telling me where this chapter was lacking so I could make it worth of all of you guys that have been waiting for this update.

So to my explanation. There's actually two parts to this. One, is that I moved halfway across the country, to Vegas, and that was a pretty big deal. Still, I can only use that to cover for about a month, with all the packing and driving and settling in I had to do. The major reason for my absence is that I suffered from a _major _nervous break down. I'm not telling you this so I get sympathy responses. That's not it at all. I'm telling you all this because I feel you deserve an explanation and I hope my story will help someone else that might be suffering as well.

I've always been a nervous person, but in February, I started having major panic attacks and I was constantly on edge. This lead to a _deep _depression. So deep I was suicidal. I did NOT try anything, but the thoughts were definitely there. That's what really freaked me out, cause I'd been through minor bouts of, what I called, 'my funk', but I NEVER had those kinds of thoughts. After nearly a month of barely eating, not sleeping, and almost dying (fell asleep while driving, not good) I went to the doctor and they set me up on anxiety and depression meds and with a therapist.

I am happy to say that it worked! I'm much better now. But it also made me very afraid to get into the necessary headspace to write this chapter. Writing (and even reading) was, for some reason, a trigger for my anxiety. So I avoided it until a couple weeks after I went on meds. But then I didn't want to work on this chapter because of its content. I think you all can understand that writing about a suicidal person might be a little difficult for one that was so recently in her place. I just had to get over that fear. And now I have.

Again, I'm not telling you guys this for sympathy, but if there is anyone out there suffering like I did... Get Help! It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Most people, especially women, suffer from some form of anxiety/depression at one point in their life. It's not ok to suffer and you don't deserve it.

Alright, sorry for being long-winded, but I wanted to get that out there. Thanks again for reading and look for an update sometime soon. Hopefully by next week, but definitely not five months from now. lol. Luv you guys!


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